MI and weightloss: An Enigma

jacktin · January 2013

I apologize for my rant in advance. Having ANY illness is difficult and it makes it more of a challenge to lose weight. I have Lupus (diagnosed two years ago) and have undergone steroid treatments, chemo and am currently on Humira to try to put it in remission. I also take painkillers as needed. These meds make you gain weight; you have no energy to exercise, etc.

However, in my personal opinion, fighting a mental illness while trying to lose weight is even harder. This is because it presents a unique set of circumstances only those with these kinds of diseases can fully appreciate.

I have been diagnosed Bipolar I with psychotic features for over 10 years (by many different doctors in two states, in and out of hospitals). I had my life ripped away from this disease when I was 19 years old. After many, many med changes and hospital stays over the years, I am on a daily “winning” dose of Lithium 1200mg, Zyprexa 5-20 mg, Haldol 2-10 mg, Cogentin and Klonopin 10mg.With the right cocktail of meds, I am now as okay as I will ever be while dealing with the ebbs and flows of this disease. But the meds have ravaged my appearance and frustrate me to no end! The meds have aided in making me gain over 100lbs! I have higher blood sugar now-thanks to Zyprexa. I also have high blood pressure due to gaining so much weight. The Lithium and having Lupus is DESTROYING my kidneys and I have been advised that in the future I may be on dialysis or potentially need a new kidney. Here’s to hoping that is in the distant future.

Many would say to switch meds or get off of them, but I really cannot without major consequences (ex: Last major med change my parent called 911 because I attempted suicide and was almost successful. Then was held against my will by the police a.k.a Advanced Directive from the state- at a state run hospital for several weeks). I have tried sooo many meds and nothing works better than what I am taking. My doctor will not change my meds because he does not want to “rock the boat”. Six years is the longest I have not had to go to the psychiatric hospital or had a suicide attempt. The only other option I have is ECT (Electroconvulsive therapy). My family and spouse are very against me having it, but if things ever get worse or if I get pregnant then I will be doing this with no hesitation.

Don’t get me wrong, these meds have saved my life in many ways and I am grateful for that. These meds gave me my life back mostly and I am able to function 90% of the time. It is a joy to know that I can walk outside the house without fear of having extreme irrational thoughts, suicidal thoughts and attempts, cutting, voices, smells, and sights and have relatively balanced moods. This is very helpful overall because having these kinds of symptoms do not bode well in a society that thinks one should be able to control these kinds of things. Not that I don’t understand society’s position, but having control over it is not fully possible. To me that is like telling someone with cancer they need to stop growing cancer cells. Having your brain lie to you all the time and talking you into doing bad things to yourself is a terrible thing to deal with. I would not wish on my worst enemy. Even with all the meds, I have to modify my life to get the most out of it. I have a very strict schedule of eating and sleeping I must stick to—even on vacation. ALL change is hard for me to deal with and has the potential of causing stress and a symptom cycle. I have a very hard time holding down a normal 8-5 job due to medication hangover and cannot be around a lot of people for extended periods of time because I become fearful and paranoid. I get anxiety which turns to stress which turns to mood swings and symptoms of psychosis. When people start to notice me “acting strange”, they like to show me the door or call the police. Lucky for me, I am blessed with a wonderful and supportive spouse and a loving and caring family that is also helpful and supportive. Many are not so lucky

While having my life back mostly is great, the side effects shorten my life and reduce my quality of life.
So I ask how do I lose weight and get back that time and quality of life when the meds I need to live take it away?

jacktin · January 2013

Again sorry for the LONG rant.

vim_n_vigor · January 2013

I have no advice. I have never been in your situation. All I can say is you are very strong and I am so happy that you have a strong and supportive family as well. You have so many reasons to just give up and you are fighting past them. That is more than I can say for myself!

Lrdoflamancha · January 2013

I am sorry for what you have had to go through. I can not imagine what that is like. My only advice is to do what you can. When I started my walking program, I counted each step, then next time I added more, even if it was only 1 step. Start small and keep with it. Best of luck...

joygwen · January 2013

Have you talked with your doctor about a safe way to loose weight? I understand the complications with these medications, and SE of weight gain, etc and I know it's got to be a hard scale to balance. Obviously, trying to modify diet and exercise is hard. All I can suggest is continuing to use MFP to track intake and make the best choices you can. Also, try to find an exercise that works for you. I love Leslie Sansone Walk Away the Pounds. Seriously, if you can walk to the fridge, you can do these work outs, in your home, with no equipment. You can use small hand weights if you choose but you don't have to. I have over 100lbs to loose and I have no good reason for it. Yeah I suffer from depression and haven't always managed it as I should, etc and I've had 4 kids but those are just excuses for me. I've used WATPs and also Turbo Fire for in home work outs. There are lots you can do. I've recently joined a gym and am trying, once again, to battle this weight issue. Good luck!

ton40orbust · January 2013

First off I am sorry for what you've gone through. I myself was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, then a different doctor said depression, and finally after a few missed diagnosis they said cyclosymactic disorder, and then finally settled on PMDD. I was on Lithium for a while and I gained a significant amount of weight on it.

You should talk to your doctor, inform him that you are trying to lose weight, and that you are unhappy with the side effects and long term effects of your current medication combination. See if he will prescribe a diet plan, refer you to a nutritionist, or perhaps lower your dosage on one or some of your meds to allow for easier loss, another solution may be to look into holistic treatments for your condition. Certain vitamins or herbs or even yoga may help with your mental illness. Make sure to inform your family that you are planning on having your medication altered, treatment changed, or switching medications before you do so though so that way someone can keep an eye on you and make sure that there is no terminal effect to follow your medication being altered. and remember if you lose a significant amount of weight your medication dosages may need to be altered anyways because at a new weight they may be too high.

If you dont want to change your meds talk to your doctor about recommending a nutritionist and look into a personal trainer, if your doctor will even say that its safe for you to lose weight while on your medication. I hope it all works out for you, Best of luck!

artickb22 · January 2013

I can understand your frustration!! I"m a psych nurse and I see and hear these same problems/complaints from patients all the time. Side effects of medicaiton is one of the biggest reasons people stop taking thier meds. Either that or they think since they are feeling better they can stop. You are so smart to keep on your meds even through hard times and side effects! I think you just have to give yourself some wiggle room and keep reminding yourself that it's going to be a little harder for you ( or in reality a lot harder) but you can do this. Keep your head up and stay strong.

As far as ECT, while I'm not sure of your specific concerns and or diagnosis's, I have to say we are seeing a great deal of positivity comming from the treatment. I wish you the best of luck!!

AleksD3 · January 2013

I have bipolar 2 rapid cycling with anxiety. My cocktail of meds sounds pretty familiar to yours. The Seroquel made me gain more than 50 pounds in 2 months and this is the only cocktail that has worked for me so I stay with these meds. I now have about 90 pounds to lose.

My only advice is to tell you what I do. After struggling with Weight Watchers for over a year and losing very little, I switched to just mfp. My first goal was to massively cut back on sugar, which, in turn, lowered my carb intake. My 3rd weigh in is Friday Nd so far I'm down 7 pounds.

Now that the food thing is improving I am working on adding in exercise. Little step by little step.

There is no way to get back what MI took away from us. Al we can do is go forward step by step. Break things down into small steps, smal portions and go from there.

That's the best advice I have to give.

jacktin · January 2013

Thanks for all the replies and support

I appreciate them all!

I have told my doctor in the past about my unhappiness with the meds, but he always comes back with " I know you are unhappy with the weight gain. I understand and I wish there was more I could do. But this is the very best medication cocktail for you. It has keep you alive and kept you out of the hospital. It has balanced your moods and calmed your symptoms that were giving you trouble too. We don't want to go backwards and I want to keep you around".

I would change Psych docs, but he is the best I could find in matters of working with and for me and he is not trying to put me in the hospital all the time.

I am currently working with a nutritionist and fitness coach, but she says just keep doing what you are doing because it is all you can do really. She is happy with what I consider to be crap progress, but she also tells me to quit being negative and focus on what I can and have accomplished.

I have recently started to lower carbs in my diet, so we will see how that goes. I am a bit broke too so cheap protein is my next major goal and I got some great ideas from the message boards for cheap protein too.Change is very difficult for me in any shape or form, so gradual changes are all I can handle. So gradual, continual change is maybe the way to go? As I start to lose weight, my med doses get adjusted to my weight too, so my medical team is happy with my very minor weight loss progress.It is me who is so unhappy with my weight loss progress. A big change in weight has drastic and potentially bad results mentally, ugh >:( My family is well aware of my effort to lose weight and they are aware of what it does to my mental health, but they know it would make me happy so they just support me and are more weary of my symptoms and my spouse gives me extra antipsychotic as he notices is needed and as advised by my doctor.I try not to fight it too much.

I am going to look into the walking workouts suggested. I actually love to work out because it helps my mind, just the energy and joint pain get in my way at times.I am always looking for different exercises.I do work out 6 days a week already. I do 3 days of step aerobics at my house, 30 min. I also walk with my spouse on a treadmill or outside weekly. I also do light weights and resistance. I use to LOVE yoga, but Lupus makes doing yoga very hard

So now I do some Chi Gong (sp?). It is kinda like Tai Chi. Very good for the mind

@artickb22 You must have an interesting workday every day! I appreciate your understanding feedback from "the other side" of MI very much. As far as ECT goes, I myself would LOVE to have it and have nothing against it. I think it could actually help me. It is my family and spouse who are very against it so we all have agreed it will be a last ditch effort.

Thanks again all

MI and weightloss: An Enigma

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