Obsessed? Moi?

I have had a slow painful journey on MFP since I originally joined last year. I started last year in January after losing 17 lbs in the three months prior with Weight Watchers online. Throughout the whole of 2012, I only managed to lose another 6lbs completely. I tried 1200 cals, 1600 cals, eating back exercise calories/not eating them, Fat to Fit, logging/not logging, and exercising (Spinning, Body Pump, weight training, C25k). I just seemed to hit a plateau and lost and gained the same few pounds between April and November.

It was becoming a major stressor in my life so I deleted my old account last October. I rejoined a week later and logged privately! It was still stressful so I stopped completely in November last year - both gym and MFP and ironically neither lost nor gained weight! I started logging again properly in January because I really want to lose the remaining 30lbs. But once again I find it is already taking over my life.

My weight is the first thing I think about, or talk about in the morning, and the last thing I think/talk about at night. I look at myself in the mirror and am really disgusted by my fat bits. I keep Googling information on weight loss and the merits of one way of eating over another. There is so much contradictory information and I constantly worry about whether I am doing the right thing for my body and metabolism. I weigh myself every morning and my whole mood can be determined by what I know on an intellectual level are normal fluctuations in body weight. I don't crave food, (particularly since I have been reducing carbs), I don't overeat and my diet is healthy - but food is a major preoccupation of mine in terms of weighing, preparation, macros and logging it. Before I eat anything, I do so many mental gymnastics/diary checking that it is actually easier to just not eat! I am not finding food pleasurable any longer.

I feel like I wasted my whole year last year obsessing about weight and eating, and I am worried that this year will be the same. Is anyone else obsessed in this way, or is it just me?

Replies

  • kendrafallon
    kendrafallon Posts: 1,030 Member
    You are definitely not the only one. It is a constant thought that goes round and round in my head. And similarly, my weight loss for the last year hasn't exactly been brilliant.

    But, bear in mind, there are other things going on in your life that will impact your eating and weight loss.

    Just a few of my thoughts that come to mind :flowerforyou:
  • I know what you mean...I have struggled with an eating disorder in the past and am using MFP to keep myself on track (ie. no restricting, bingeing, purging, etc) but I find that it's a lot of effort! I get really frustrated with myself because everything has to be logged and quite frankly sometimes I don't want to see what I've eaten all day (particularly if it's not been a very good day).

    Overall though, I'd say if you feel like it's becoming an obsession and food is no longer enjoyable, maybe try using MFP every other week or something? Just get a general feel for what your eating habits should be like, and then try to eat intuitively and exercise as you normally do or even increase exercise if you feel as if you're eating more. See how that goes? I don't actually like having to count calories while losing weight because I definitely don't want to be counting and obsessing for the rest of my life, but I can see how it's necessary at first.

    It sounds as if you definitely need a break from MFP...it can be very mentally straining and counting calories and obsessing over food can lead to an eating disorder.
  • There is so much "noise" on here concerning people's attitudes and preferences to food and lots of conflicting information from unqualified people and the MFP "gurus". But everyone is different. I am having a hard time finding what works for my metabolism, activity level etc.

    During my time away from MFP I felt happier, but still did not lose (or gain) any weight. Now I am low carbing and back on MFP I am losing weight, albeit slowly. I have not been back to the gym yet - I got fed up with putting in so much time effort and getting very little return.

    My poor husband has to listen to my obsessive chatter every day - he is 140lbs, eats whatever he wants and does not put on an ounce.
  • Lupercalia
    Lupercalia Posts: 1,857 Member
    Hi Slinky....I definitely don't think you're the only one who feels this way. I can tend to get that way, too. Especially if I'm working from what I see as a negative base--weight loss, body fat reduction, what I can't/shouldn't eat. I've found it's just no good for my head or anyone around me when I'm thinking that way, so I've learned subtle ways of adjusting and re-framing the whole situation, which makes a huge difference to how I go about achieving my goals. This doesn't mean I've decided to stop losing weight, reducing bodyfat, or have decided I'll be eating anything under the sun. :smile:

    What it means is that instead of focusing on negatives, I make my goals entirely positive in both focus and word. I don't think or say to myself, "I need to lose 30 lbs". Instead I say this: "I want to get stronger and healthier". Period! Instead of thinking/saying to myself that I should restrict certain foods if I want to lose weight, I think of how various foods make me feel, and what sort of effects they have on my moods, energy levels, health, and appearance. If they taste good and make me feel/look good, I eat them. Not complicated at all.

    You might have noticed that I think and write about strength training quite often. It's not just because I prefer this sort of exercise over cardio--I do, but I also see and experience it as a very positive activity. Building strength and increasing muscle mass as opposed to "burning calories" is what goes through my head, and for me, this way of looking at the issue of body recomposition is entirely +++++ positive! I've lost over 50 pounds since July 2012 without doing any sort of traditional cardio. Just kettlebells and strength training, and I've been having a blast! I'm getting stronger all the time, and I really like the way my body takes to it. It's really great to be able to see the progress. I log all my training--exercises, weights, sets, reps--because I love to be able to look back and see how much I've progressed. This has been especially great on those days when I feel I'm not progressing fast enough.

    I told you yesterday how I feel about the scale vs. other ways of measuring progress, but I'll write something similar here in case anyone else is interested. I don't weigh myself on any particular schedule these days. I drag the scale out when I'm feeling especially good and like maybe it's time to see what the scale has to say. This seems to be about every two or three weeks, I think. What I do consistently and regularly is take measurements of different body parts with a plain old tailor's cloth measuring tape. Those numbers do not lie, and consistently go down for me, whereas the scale has always been totally weird for me. I also take photos of myself. I don't do the photos on any sort of schedule, but I probably should. I just take photos whenever I feel like doing so. How my clothes fit is another way I like to measure progress.

    I think a lot of these solutions I've found are very personal to me and my own circumstances, so I'm not suggesting anyone must adopt my own ways. What I do suggest is that you find a positive way that is specific and meaningful to you. These are merely my examples of how I play the game in my head on a daily basis, because that's what all this stuff is for the most part--an extended psychological game. You can do it. Be magical and find your way! xx
  • macaya5
    macaya5 Posts: 75
    Have you consulted a dr? If you are following a basic 500 calorie a day deficit (either by eating less calories and/or burning them off in exercise) and it's not working, maybe you should make sure there isn't a physical reason you aren't losing weight. Eating 4-6 200-400 calorie meals throughout the day should help boost your metabolism. Consider consulting with a nutritionist about how you fuel your body.

    I really like this program because it's so easy to keep track of how much and what I'm eating. I'm in the process of changing my lifestyle and I feel obsessed with it all. Partly because I'm seeing results but also because I'm going to the gym often to make it as rote as brushing my teeth. I've been on and off all kinds of diets...want to know about nutrition, ask a lifelong fat girl. This go round, I'm learning about glycemic load and how my body is fueled by the kinds of food I eat. I finally feel like I have a handle on carbs.

    I haven't hit a big plateau yet but I know in all likelihood I will. You'd better believe I will throw all the resources I can muster at it when it does happen. Good luck.
  • lilborykuamami
    lilborykuamami Posts: 11 Member
    Hun, it seems you may have a medical issue from what you just described. Maybe your thyroid? I don't know, but I would definitely go see a Doctor.

  • What it means is that instead of focusing on negatives, I make my goals entirely positive in both focus and word. I don't think or say to myself, "I need to lose 30 lbs". Instead I say this: "I want to get stronger and healthier". Period! Instead of thinking/saying to myself that I should restrict certain foods if I want to lose weight, I think of how various foods make me feel, and what sort of effects they have on my moods, energy levels, health, and appearance. If they taste good and make me feel/look good, I eat them. Not complicated at all.


    Excellent advice there. I have been focussing a lot on negatives - what I "can't" eat, how many calories I need to "restrict", how much weight I need to "lose". I can see how I have created is a negative energy around this whole transformation. This negative energy breeds feelings of deprivation and oppression. I will focus on what I have gained and will gain from now on. I think I will stop logging - it always has a tendancy to send me a little bit crazy :bigsmile:

    (For the record, since I started this journey I have been to the Dr's twice with the stress that all of this has brought on, I had my thyroid checked, they said it was fine and despite the fact I mentioned my weight loss struggles many times, sent me off on my merry way, this was part of my frustration - that I had just been left to get on with it on my own without knowing really what I should be doing.)
  • flatblade
    flatblade Posts: 224 Member
    It isn't healthy to be overly obsessed. That said, if your number 1 lifestyle and health concern revolves around losing weight, it makes sense that it is the most frequent topic in your life. An appropriate level of attention to weight/body image/diet will vary from person to person--just don't let it control your life (easier said than done I know). As to what works for losing weight, I would say that if you eat fewer calories than you use and you exercise more than you have, you are bound to lose weight. How much, again, will vary from individual to individual. Keep trying and find what works for you. If you really want to change your lifestyle and your body, I'm sure there is something out there that works.
  • NeverGivesUp
    NeverGivesUp Posts: 960 Member
    Health has become my focus above all but I still can't help from time to time getting bogged down by the scale. Speaking for myself, it is next to impossible for me to lose weight the normal way that everyone says works so easily here. We are all so different. For me it is 100% what I eat that makes the difference. The exercise just makes me feel amazing but the food determines loss or not. It is hard with the scale because it is so unpredictable. I think I will let the scale go away for a while and focus on getting stronger and healthier. Bringing it out when I really feel confident about it. That is definitely not the only form or measurement and it is certainly the most frustrating for me, especially being at the end of the losing journey. Hang in there and concentrate on what you have gained. You are aware now which is so important and your diet is clean and healthy which is also important for maintaining a long quality life. Maybe you should put the scale away and get back to the gym. That will firm up all the loose bits you hate so much and will at least make you feel great within your body. That is more important than a number on a scale anyway. xxxooo
  • I have had a slow painful journey on MFP since I originally joined last year. I started last year in January after losing 17 lbs in the three months prior with Weight Watchers online. Throughout the whole of 2012, I only managed to lose another 6lbs completely. I tried 1200 cals, 1600 cals, eating back exercise calories/not eating them, Fat to Fit, logging/not logging, and exercising (Spinning, Body Pump, weight training, C25k). I just seemed to hit a plateau and lost and gained the same few pounds between April and November.

    It was becoming a major stressor in my life so I deleted my old account last October. I rejoined a week later and logged privately! It was still stressful so I stopped completely in November last year - both gym and MFP and ironically neither lost nor gained weight! I started logging again properly in January because I really want to lose the remaining 30lbs. But once again I find it is already taking over my life.

    My weight is the first thing I think about, or talk about in the morning, and the last thing I think/talk about at night. I look at myself in the mirror and am really disgusted by my fat bits. I keep Googling information on weight loss and the merits of one way of eating over another. There is so much contradictory information and I constantly worry about whether I am doing the right thing for my body and metabolism. I weigh myself every morning and my whole mood can be determined by what I know on an intellectual level are normal fluctuations in body weight. I don't crave food, (particularly since I have been reducing carbs), I don't overeat and my diet is healthy - but food is a major preoccupation of mine in terms of weighing, preparation, macros and logging it. Before I eat anything, I do so many mental gymnastics/diary checking that it is actually easier to just not eat! I am not finding food pleasurable any longer.

    I feel like I wasted my whole year last year obsessing about weight and eating, and I am worried that this year will be the same. Is anyone else obsessed in this way, or is it just me?

    you are most certainly not the only one obsessed. I will give you great ,in my opinion, advice i got from a friend who has lost weight and was obsessive as well. DO NOT weigh yourself everday. based on sodium in take alone from one day to the next it can kill you. also as you said it can set your mood. so how long do you try something before you decide that isnt working either. you said your tried eating back calories and increasing calories etc. your body is gonna go through stock when you change things. which may be good at first such as a great lose of 3 lbs but then nothing for 2-4 weeks etc.

    if you are concerned about what is good for you and your metabolism etc. talk to a nutritionist or your doctor. Things are different for everyone and i have had this struggle my body likes to go up and down in weight i try to only weigh on saturday mornings so it doesnt affect work or life. I love Jillian Micheals webiste for this reason she has you do a survey on your eating habits etc. and based on that you get a general idea on what you should eat and why, as well as some recipes to for foods to meal plan etc.

    feel free to add me and i hope i helped in some way ^_^ good luck in your journey
  • Thanks for that. I have stopped logging food today. All I have been eating is nuts and tea! I can't face cooking for now. I think I will have a break from weighing and logging my food. The batteries are coming out of the scale tonight! I will continue low carbing, and go back to the gym.