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I don't know what the heck I'm doing!

kitka82
kitka82 Posts: 350 Member
in Motivation and Support
I don't know how to get to my final goal weight. And it bothers me.

I started off in 2010 at 224, and lost 60 pounds in less than a year. I tracked all of my food and exercise calories. I found activities that I enjoy doing. I did a lot of cardio, and did some resistance training a few times a week.

In 2011, I learned about body fat percentage, and decided to focus on that. I did P90X and various other weight lifting programs in an attempt to get a "beach body." I wore my first bikini, though I wasn't at my goal. I stayed within the 162-170 range for a couple of years.

By the end of 2012, I was confused. I seemed to pick up an extra 10 pounds around the holidays. On New Years 2013, I was 175 pounds. So I did what I always do to lose the weight-- food tracking and exercise, with no real goal other than to "lose it fast." By NETting about 1200 calories a day and some exercise, I've lost 6 pounds since January 1st.

Along the way, I've made several performance-oriented goals. I ran my first 10K last year and did the Warrior Dash (which was a big deal for me). This year, I'm training for a half marathon.

The truth is--I just can't let go of my goal weight, as unimportant as it may seem. I never reached my goal, and even though it shouldn't diminish my success so far--it kind of does.

I feel kind of lost right now. I thought that changing the way I look would change the way I see myself, and it's proving not to.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how much to eat. I am royally confused and getting pretty frustrated. I am still a good 25 pounds above my goal. I still feel huge and I'm sick of it.

Replies

  • miracole
    miracole Posts: 492 Member
    I ran into a bit of that too, I got close to my initial goal weight and found myself unsatisfied. I found myself getting into bad eating habits and feeling tired and grumpy most of the time, and then binging on bad food when I got home at night.

    For the last month I've focused on the nutrition side of things. I've been consciously following a plan meant to improve my marathon performance, have been eating more than I ever did and have still lost 6 lbs since NY. I'd suggest now, when you're training for a half marathon, may be the perfect time to make a similar change. You may find that increasing your calories but focusing on healthy eating gets you to your goal weight when you stop really looking at just the number.
  • Minnesnowtagurl
    Minnesnowtagurl Posts: 406 Member
    Wowzers!!!! This is my story said and told as is my dear! I too began my journey at approx 225lbs and got down to 159lb around August 2012 and wore my first bakini on the beach in the British Vigin Islands. I too participate in marathons to keep me on track.

    Over the holdiays I gained weight and brought myself back up to approx 183. I understand the frustration. After jumping back on the horse in a way you want to see the changes ASAP. I feel as though I am even farther away from my goal. I feel your frustrations and agree with feeling terrible and making bad food choices.

    You just have to keep your main focus right infront of you and know that you can do it, because you CAN. Check out the link below. It has given me some insight and I hope it helps. Keep your head up and continue to be patient. You know MFP is always a place you can spill your guts out and have someone there to understand. I love MFP for that.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12

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