Anybody else here with social anxiety?

A majority of you don’t know me in real life. But for those that do probably don’t know this. I suffer from anxiety. It makes it really hard to talk to and be around people. Lately, it’s been getting worse and I can’t spend full weeks at school without getting anxious and having to skip class and not even go on some days .
Being around people is a lot or for a long time is really exhausting and takes a lot out of me. Most people I physically cannot talk to or hold a conversation with....
I start blushing uncontrollably when I get anxious. I hate being in a classroom or a setting where there is a lot of light, and people. I do not like being recognized, and love sitting all the way in the back away from people that like to participate a lot and from the fear of being called on..
Anybody else going through similar stuff? Any remedies?
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Replies

  • sissiluv
    sissiluv Posts: 2,205 Member
    Social situations are just overwhelming and gross but at the same time turning into a recluse is pretty miserable too.
    The bathroom is a haven for me. Whenever I feel myself start to get overwhelmed I try to find one that isn't busy and hide in there for a few minutes.

    If you're going to school I'd try to talk to the councilors, presuming your school has them, and see if they don't have any suggestions or ways to accommodate you, especially in testing situations. It can be nerve-wracking and embarrassing but I found it to be worth it.

    I'm sorry, that's all I got for now. Good luck!
  • I am going through almost exactly the same stuff right now. I'm constantly cancelling on friends or not going to classes for fear of having to make conversation with people or having an anxiety attack. My friends all just think its because I'm *****y and antisocial but really, I'm not. I'm just terrified to be around people. My best advice is to find somebody (a councillor, a family member, etc.) who you feel comfortable talking with to help you. Best of luck! Just know that you are totally not alone in this.
    Xx
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    Have you sought professional help with a counselor/therapist?

    It sounds like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for social anxiety disorder would be the types of techniques you're looking for. You can google it and/or get some books to help you try it, but seeing a qualified therapist is going to be your best bet.
  • Yup I have an appointment next week with a counselor! Breathing techniques and drinking water definitely works too!
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    Try this: http://www.liberationinmind.com/

    You'll have to sign up, but it's harmless. Then, you'll have access to listen. I started due to my bad sleep. But, that got fixed after doing this for a couple weeks. Then did the social anxiety one, and cured in bout a week. I'm not kidding. It's amazing.

    You just start listening, relax and fall asleep. It's easy. It seems weird. But, I'm a believer. Try it.
  • CoffeeNBooze
    CoffeeNBooze Posts: 966 Member
    YES, ME!

    It's horrible, absolutely horrible. And my full time job entails a busy environment and dealing with a lot of different people. I have gone home many times because my social anxiety has made me feel psychotic. I have been seeing a therapist and honestly, I don't know how much it has helped. I thought it was helping but I am falling back into old habits and.... I don't really know why I am going to see her. She suggested I see a psychiatrist as well, so we'll see how that goes. Wish I had a real solution for you. Just know you are definitely not alone.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    I feel your pain. :flowerforyou:
  • shockingpink33
    shockingpink33 Posts: 49 Member
    I also have social anxiety. I especially find it very difficult to socialize with people that I don't know very well but I know I will see again frequently (like colleagues). I have always been "shy"--In middle school, I would sometimes come home from school and realize that I hadn't said more than one sentence the whole school day. In certain situations, I feel that people may not notice I have social anxiety at all and then in other situations, (like at work) I will visibly tremble when doing things in front of people or blush and get very awkward when I speak. I wish I could help you, but I am not really even sure how to help myself. There are books out there about social anxiety--maybe you will find these helpful...
    Here is a book I have:
    http://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Social-Anxiety-Shyness-Behavioral/dp/0465005454
  • xMissy6x
    xMissy6x Posts: 347 Member
    I know exaclty how you feel, its not fun at all. I get anxiety sometimes to. i dont really have any helpful advice but wanted to wish u all the best :)
  • I have it, it used to be really bad, to the point I would avoid talking to people I didn't know. The sad part is once I got past that I am actually a pretty awesome dude to hang out with and have no problems talking and making friends. That first step is huge though.

    I started taking Klonipin for and unrelated health issue, and it has diminished my social anxiety a great deal, I still have it but not as bad. It also works great for the health issues I've got. Stress is the biggest trigger for my intestinal issues, with diet a close second. I am still prone to intestinal infections and doctors can't give me an answer as to why, but through diet and medication I keep it under control, but it contributes to my anxiety, especially with women because I dread talking about my health as it can be embarrassing and uncomfortable. It's quite the balancing act
  • Me!!! I have a really hard time coping with mine.. Bump for later <3
  • Hi, I am a clinical hypnotherapist and I specialise in sports and performance. Despite these supposedly being roles for 'confident' people, I spend much if my therapy time working on confidence building and self esteem issues.
    I can recommend something that is free,mill make you feel better straightaway and although i know you will think it is odd, it WILL work. Google EFT -emotional freedom technique (Paul mcKenna calls it 'havering'. It is a technique you do yourself which creates a 'safe haven' by reprogramming your nerve pathways. It is used for everything from phobias to post traumatic stress for soldiers.
    As I said, people follow the instructions and think,'how on earth can this help? But I promise you it will.
    Just try it, you have nothing to lose (as I said, it doesn't cost anything and it is. Not condratictory to any therapy, medications or anything else like that.
    Best wishes
    Az
  • tdp575
    tdp575 Posts: 55
    I've had bad anxiety most of my life. I wish I knew of some remedies =[
  • feast4thebeast
    feast4thebeast Posts: 210 Member
    I went through a really bad period last year but doing well now.
  • 00sarah
    00sarah Posts: 621 Member
    Clonazapam.
  • raeleek
    raeleek Posts: 414 Member
    I had serious panic disorder. I did all the avoiding and stuff like that and it finally got the point where I was having 6-8 panic attacks a day. It was disabling. I would get the gi upset and the flushing and I knew it was coming. They were horrible. Feeling like my heart would explode, that I couldnt breath, that I was going to pass out, scary thoughts.........

    One night I'm sitting there after a panic attack and an infomercial comes on for MidWest Stress Center. I REALIZE that I'm not suppose to push anything on the boards but I swear this program made all the difference. I saw a therapist, took pills, so on and so forth and it helped a little but by no means made it "go away". I watched the infomercial and ordered their program out of desperation because NOTHING else was working. I thought I was going crazy. As soon as I ordered it I felt like an idiot falling for something on tv.

    I did the program and within weeks the panic attacks were diminishing. It took about a year of going over the program to get rid of my panic attacks. I have had them now and then but I think in the six years since I ordered it I've had maybe 5-10 panic attacks. Honestly I can't even remember the last time I had one.

    The difference between this and pills and therapy (which I'm not knocking) is that this helps your understand WHY. It talks about the panic from the physical and mental side and helps you learn how to hit it head on. It helps you understand what is physically happening to you. It helps you learn how to talk yourself out of it. It helps you figure out your triggers and how to deal with them so they don't get to you as bad.

    Aside from the program I workout because it helps burn off excess energy build-up which adds to anxiety. I have been eating a lot better and my body just feels better. Makes me feel like I'm in control more. I have been trying to just let things go. EASIER said than done but you can't have your dog in every fight!

    I could go on and on but just know your ARE NOT alone! This is something you can overcome and talking about it truly helps. FEEL FREE to friend me! We can talk or if you have any questions! I love helping people work through their anxiety because I truly know how horrible it can be!
  • FauxAngel13
    FauxAngel13 Posts: 156 Member
    I really struggled with this in school, and my marks suffered because of it... if you can make it to uni or college it gets a whole lot better as less face to face time is required for courses... I'd also recommend a high DHA fish oil (I take a 250mg) it did wonders for me in reducing (not getting rid of) anxiety and helping to manage social settings as well as inner stuff :) good luck... feel free to add me or message if youd like support or someone to talk to :)
  • missyeighmy
    missyeighmy Posts: 24 Member
    Bump
  • Believe it or not, generalized anxiety disorder is a lot more common than you think. I don't have the studies at hand, but if you send me a message I will get them to you. I myself have a pretty severe panic disorder relating to social situations. In class I literally shut down. My throat gets so tight that even if I know an answer I can't speak, my hands too frozen to even raise. I spend the entire drive to school worried about if what I'm wearing is okay if i'm going to be made fun of or talked about, if I'm going to fail, etc, etc. These worries keep me from sleeping and keep me from doing anything productive because even when I'm doing homework or socializing there are other worries going through my mind (am I good enough, do I look fat in this, am I talking too much). So, just so you know you are most certainly not alone. I am lucky that I have great doctors that are helping me to deal with this through medication and therapy. Social anxiety is extremely common and usually something that we learn from being bullied at a young age, or from not living up to the medias general portrayal of what we should be. If you ever need help feel free to reach out and NEVER feel like you are alone. Odds are someone else wherever you are is experiencing something similar.
  • darisey
    darisey Posts: 228 Member
    I've been really struggling with this my whole life. It got really bad in 4th grade when I began getting panic attacks and stress migraines. I missed so much school, tried changing schools, private school, homeschool, public, charter, etc. Went to so many doctors, took so many meds, saw so many psychologists, went to stay in the hospital for documentation of migraines and panic attacks. Nothing helped. My mom and I went through hell to get me to finish school. The homeschool was fine but I couldn't go to take the tests. I really WANTED to go to school. I had some friends, people liked me, I loved my teachers, got straight A's (except when they started cutting my grades for lack of attendance) but every morning I would panic. I still really want to finish school and go to college. When I was 16, my high school kicked me out because I had missed too many days and 16 is the legal age that you can quit school. I was devastated and embarrassed and went into a deep depression. I'm 23 now and still working on my anxiety (although it has gotten a lot worse in some aspects, better in others, as I've gotten older).
  • terriblyn
    terriblyn Posts: 107 Member
    A few years ago, I went through a trauma and began to experience anxiety attacks. Seriously scary and then really annoying as they can come out of nowhere at just the wrong time...
    I found through the practice of sitting meditation, nearly all of the symptoms are relieved. Try it! It's free, and you can do it anywhere! Good luck on your journey! It will get better!!
  • spamantha57
    spamantha57 Posts: 674 Member
    Bleh. Yes. I've had it for some years & last year I was finally able to get myself off meds. It was a struggle but I didn't want to be dependent on them anymore - Xanax is a horrible thing that I wasn't warned about what it can do to you. I still have anxiety, but for the most part I'm able to keep in under control right now.

    I used to be the biggest social butterfly too. No one can really understand how I went from that, to barely being able to around more than a few people at a time - that I know personally. Strangers it's even worse.

    If you haven't already, get off caffeine. It'll help a boatload. You can also manage some through diet, but I'll leave it to a professional to talk to you about that. (And I'm not talking about a general practitioner. More often than not they'll keep trying to shove pills down your throat.)
  • titanium96
    titanium96 Posts: 153 Member
    I had it for a little while but depression is my demon!
  • dragonfly_em
    dragonfly_em Posts: 122 Member
    i just thought i've always been totally awkward and weird tho for the most part i'm quite happy in myself, so reading thru all this makes me realize i'm not alone and that i really need to take action and sort myself out coz it is so debilitating at times
  • BigBigBertha
    BigBigBertha Posts: 208 Member
    bump
  • symonspatrick
    symonspatrick Posts: 213 Member
    Yes. I have the same type of thoughts and feelings as you. I wish I had the quick fix for it but I am still dealing with it myself. I am glad you posted this though because somehow it feels comforting to know I am not the only one dealing with these issues.
  • 1990sophia1990
    1990sophia1990 Posts: 225 Member
    This is definitely me through and through!
  • Illona88
    Illona88 Posts: 903 Member
    I used to have severe social anxiety to the point of locking myself in my flat for months on end and only coming out to buy groceries.

    Luckily I have mostly overcome it now. I still get nervous in certain situations, but I think I function pretty well considering.


    I overcame it by analyzing my fears and then coming up with "assignments" that would force me to talk to people. Started out with not that scary situations and then went up and up to scarier and scarier things.
    I also practice meditation and mindfulness to keep my anxiety under control when I have to talk to people.
  • Rho_Ro
    Rho_Ro Posts: 201 Member
    I feel for every one of you. I have flare ups of my depression every now and then and am quite accepting of it now, although it has taken me years to work through. I recognise now that I've had mild anxiety on occasions as well.

    I'm not writing to tell you about me but more about my son who is now 27. His counselor told me last year that my son has severe anxiety. He was bullied a lot at school: at Intermediate school his class mates sat on his head while the others held him down (he's 6' 5" now); he retaliated against the bullies and the teacher put him out of the class; he was constantly called names. He was regularly unwell in Year 10 to the point that he was home most of the time. At one point he wouldn't go past the end of our driveway or get on a public bus. He then became angry most of the time. He left home and lived with other young people who had mental health issues in a supervised home. His grandmother died and he decided to go flatting. He got a job at a Cinema but eventually his doctor advised him not to go back because of his stress and anxiety. His anger got worse.

    Eventually he came across a wonderful doctor who listened to him and referred him to the Anxiety Clinic. His doctor at the Clinic explained to him that our thinking process has about three levels before you get to where you either take flight or fight (primitive man's response), however in his case he would go straight to the last one. He was put on a combination of drugs known as Californian rocket fuel - mirtazapine and venlafaxin - and they give him a 5 minute window where he has the opportunity to think about the incident and evaluate it and then decide whether to get angry or not. He does get frustrated and pissed off but he doesn't fly off the handle or have the massive anxiety attacks he used to have. He still sees his counselor but seems to be trying to wean himself off.

    I can see him being in control and well grounded within 5 years easily, maybe even a couple of years. He is presently giving up smoking which is just one step on the way to taking control of his life. I am very proud of him and think he is quite amazing.

    So there is definitely hope. The trick is to find the right path towards help. Ask your doctor about an Anxiety Clinic. The one my son went to was a government funded one. Ask your psychiatrist about Californian rocket fuel - we found a forum with comments from people who had been put on it, so have a look at their comments and remember this example. My son had an upset stomach from the word go and was tempted to give up, but one person on the forum said to stick with it no matter what for at least 4 weeks. At the end of the 4th week, the side effects stopped and he hasn't look back since.

    GOOD LUCK!!
  • 98777
    98777 Posts: 108 Member
    I've been dealing with severe social anxiety for my entire life. I know exactly what you're going through. I'm still struggling each day...