Stumbling for the RIGHT words....NO MORE!

Do you sometimes stumble for the right words? Does asking an acquaintance or stranger for help give you anxiety?

Is the thought of public speaking scary?

If you answered yes to any of these inquiries, perhaps you might enjoy reading the content of my most recent blog posting The title of today's blog post is Stumbling for the RIGHT words…..NO MORE!. For your convenience, I've included the blog text below. If you are interested in following my blog, you can find it at: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/jonesdav254

For those interested in commenting, I'd love your feedback.

Best Regards,

Dave
(The Doughnut Slayer)

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Stumbling for the RIGHT words....NO MORE!

His name is Kent. He’s a 50-something guy in a middle management position professionally. He has aspirations of moving on in his career, and dreams of becoming a professional speaker at some point “down the road of life”. Like many people, he can stumble for the right words when trying to communicate. He has anxiety (some might call it straight up FEAR) of speaking in public. What is poor Kent to do?

I am a member of Toastmasters International (TI). I have been in this organization for the over 4 years. For those that might be unfamiliar with TI, it is an international organization that helps people become better speakers and leaders. (Check out http://www.toastmasters.org/) At this point, you might be asking yourself…”OK, but what they HECK does Toastmasters have to do with fitness, eating better or anything related with MFP!!? Good grief Jones!!...have you lost your MIND?!!!”

I can understand that at first the connection might be confusing. As I was thinking about this blog posting, I wasn’t initially clear about the link myself. Then I had an epiphany….an “Ah Ha!” moment (what I call a V8 moment when I finally realize something deeper….better).

Most of the quality things we want in life require communication. While this communication can be written, more often success requires spoken communication. What’s that you say? You speak well. Oh really!? Would you be prepared to give a 2-3 minute impromptu speech to anyone…with no advanced notice on the merits of your professional contributions to your employer? Would you be prepared to offer a 5-8 minute talk about a favorite cause (i.e. fitness) to a family member?.....what if that discussion suddenly wasn’t to a single family member but to a group of 20, 50 or over 100 people? Any butterflies in your stomach…. Do your knees weaken,….Does your voice quiver….Do your sweat glands go into OVERDRIVE as you consider that scenario?

Think about this…

When you are a better speaker you can get your point across more effectively.

When you speak more effectively, your listeners will understand better and can assist you more easily.

When your listeners understand you better and can assist you more easily, you can achieve your goals and objectives sooner and with greater success.


OK, OK, OK….your next question might be….WHAT GOALS?! WHAT OBJECTIVES?!

Let’s see?

Work out more effectively and efficiently.

Adapt a nutrition plan that best suits your schedule and minimizes your risk of failure.

Help a family member of friend looking to YOU for inspiration and information about your experience.


Let’s explore these 3 situations about how being a better speaker might be helpful as it relates to fitness, nutrition and your health.

Situation 1 – Get advice from an EXPERT to work out more effectively and efficiently.
Some of my MFP friends have the luxury of having a personal trainer. The rest of us “schmucks” have to rely on occasional advice from friends or acquaintance we meet (sometimes at the gym). I recall one fellow that was quite fit at the local gym. He was a former professional body builder….former as in… he no longer competes, but he is STILL amazingly built and ripped! My nickname (never called him this to his face is Michelin Man. Those in the US will recognize the VERY muscular cartoon character that can toss tires around like they are children’s toys…those outside the US…see http://tinyurl.com/azgycd5 scroll to the bottom for an image. I approached Michelin Man to ask him for advice on some exercises that might improve my biceps and triceps. (Note to self - some people don’t like being interrupted at the gym during their workout) I stumbled and faltered over my words and didn’t express myself clearly. Michelin Man seemed somewhat annoyed at my inability to articulate what I was asking. He offered some advice, but I believe his input might have been different (better) if I had communicated better in this impromptu situation. Drats! An opportunity squandered to learn from an expert!

Situation #2 – Consulting with your doctor at adapt a nutrition plan that best suits your schedule and minimizes your risk of failure

Prior to kicking off my fitness pursuit, I went to see my doctor for a physical. You know, to make sure I would not KILL myself while attempting to do my fitness program and follow my nutrition plan. As we all know, doctors are VERY pressed for time. As such, they tend to limit discussion with patients. I was trying to explain to my doctor the fitness program I wanted to follow and asking for advice on weight loss. Once again, I found myself searching for the right words. As the conversation went on, my mind was unclear on how best to extend the discussion to get the MOST from my doctor’s experience and knowledge. When this happens, I can sometimes find that after leaving the doctor’s office, I have more questions about my doctor’s recommendations for tests, guidance on fitness and suggestions for nutrition. (Author’s note: I guess it also can be challenging that my doctor is an attractive female (I’m married….NOT dead!)…and AMAZINGLY fit (she is a high level black belt in three martial arts….yeah I call her deadly beautiful!) Again, I “fumbled” and my opportunity for communication and learning was less than I hoped.

Situation #3 – Sharing Success with a family member of friend looking to YOU for inspiration and information about your experience.
After having some success with my fitness, nutrition and weight loss, a colleague and friend at work asked me what I had been doing that allowed me to become more fit, and lose a considerable amount of weight. I started to explain my approach for fitness, eating better and managing my weight. After a few minutes, I saw the “Look”. You might call it the “Deer in the Headlights” look or some similar reference to what can be described as “OH MY GOD! Are you serious!?” After I had failed to efficiently describe what I believe is the simplicity of my workouts, nutrition and weight loss…my colleague offered an excuse (translation…he ditched me) and returned to his office. A few days later I asked him if he had any questions on putting a program together. He responded that what I described sounded too complicated and too complex. Really? I blew it that bad? In short, he said he couldn’t follow my “ramblings”. OUCH!....in fact double OUCH!!

Each of these situations highlights an opportunity lost. Opportunities where I could have been a better communicator. Opportunities where I could have learned more or been a better educator.

These situations only highlight communication opportunities that relate to fitness, nutrition and weight loss. What about other communication situations. Perhaps you also harbor an anxiety about public speaking. Maybe you are looking to develop speaking and leadership skills for personal growth? You may be prepping for a job interview that you need to “ACE”! Possibly your professional career may have plateaued and you are seeking a way to once ignite your career and explore opportunities for promotion or advancement. All of these are among the goals many people in TI develop.

What’s my point? Remember “poor Kent” from the beginning of this story. Well, poor Kent is actually ME! (David "KENT" Jones). Thanks to my experiences in Toastmasters and work I’ve done to become a more effective speaker, I find that I struggle MUCH less with impromptu and even prepared speeches and presentations. I have achieved the Toastmaster recognition of Advanced Communicator (Silver level) and Advanced Leader (Bronze level). I have competed in the Toastmasters Internation Speech Contest (aka World Championship of Public Speaking) and WON at the Club, Area and Division levels (that was being judged best among several hundred competitors). I advanced to the District level (competition that ultimately comprised over 1500 speakers from each teir) and won 3rd place. I moved into a more senior management position within my company. I now volunteer to assist unemployed workers and teach them how to better represent themselves in job interviews. (Many of those I help have been hired!) I also teach an annual leadership seminar to entry level on successful techniques for pitching their ideas and proposals.
Before you make any leap about my motivation for this posting and just to be cystal clear…I do NOT make money or gain benefit from those that consider or even join Toastmasters. So what’s my angle?...what do I get out of this? I can best answer that with this comment. I was introduced to Toastmasters by a mentor about 5 years ago. A short while later I joined Toastmasters. When I had achieved some success with my speaking and leadership goals, I asked my mentor Toastmasters how I might repay him for his advice and counsel. He spoke frankly and said, “Just pay it forward”.

Where might Toastmasters help you? That depends on your goals and objectives. If your goal is to Stumble for the RIGHT words…..NO MORE! ...perhaps you should think about Toastmasters. If you have further questions, on being a better speaker or leader or specific to Toastmaster, drop me a note.