Dealing with a PICKY eater

PLEASE HELP!!!!!

I am at my wits end with my husband's pickiness. He doesn't like any veggies except corn & carrots. He doesn't like any fruit except green apples & bananas. He doesn't like beans, spicy food, olives, sour cream, cottage cheese, ketchup or any other kind of condiments, and there is probably a lot longer list.

This really messes up my diet, and frustrates me because I feel like I can't cook what I like. He gripes and complains if I add something he doesn't approve of. Even if he can just pick it out. He claims things make him sick, but if I cook chicken with black beans and he picks the beans out, he is still eating the juice. So wouldn't that make him sick?

It's gottens so bad that I feel guilty if I cook chicken alfredo with broccoli, or stir fry with bell peppers. I feel guilty when I even buy tomatoes. I am not FORCING him to eat them. I just want to cook the food. If he doesn't want to eat something he can pick it out. But he sees this as me being selfish and not considering his feelings. Then he yells, and we get in a big fight over something so stupid. I just want to get healthy and would like it if he would join me in this journey, and support me. <sigh>

Does anyone else have a spouse or child like this? Do you have any advice on how to work around it, or to get him to TRY new things??
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Replies

  • RobinC37
    RobinC37 Posts: 242 Member
    My boyfriend is like this!! Let's be friends!

    He will literally ONLY eat tinned veggies- corn, peas, and green beans. His fruit intake consists of mandarin oranges and strawberry fruit popsicles.

    I sneak him veggies in chili and sauces by mincing green peppers and onions so small into marinara sauce he can't identify them. A lot of times I modify our meals to be similar. I'll make him a double bacon cheeseburger, and I'll have a venison patty with laughing cow and turkey bacon on a bed of spinach. Having a large griddle is great because I can use half for "his food" and half for mine without making a lot of dirty pots. I eat a lot of raw vegetables so I don't do extra cooking. We compromise on his veggies by buying the cans without salt. I heat it and then remove my portion before adding all the butter and salt he likes.

    Another recent victory is I have gotten him in the habit of drinking a glass of water every day. This man literally only drinks Pepsi or an occasional coffee loaded with cream and sugar.

    I know the biggest problem is he's never been exposed to a lot of my foods before. He's a good ol' southern boy raised on Paula Dean, so his main dietary staples are cream, butter, salt, and sugar. For now, I have only been cooking one meal a week that he has to put up and shut up with. Recently I made a tex-mex stew with black and pinto beans. It got a rating of "not awful".

    OH! He definitely does the fake allergy thing, too! Like he's allergic to eggs, but only by themselves. They're fine as French toast. And he's allergic to milk, but only glasses of milk. If it's on cereal it's fine. He eat American, Italian, and Mexican, but that's it. His excuse is "What if I'm allergic to something in it?" Very very frustrating.
  • Bumbeen
    Bumbeen Posts: 263 Member
    OH! He definitely does the fake allergy thing, too! Like he's allergic to eggs, but only by themselves. They're fine as French toast. And he's allergic to milk, but only glasses of milk. If it's on cereal it's fine. He eat American, Italian, and Mexican, but that's it. His excuse is "What if I'm allergic to something in it?" Very very frustrating.

    This. Is. Hilarious.
  • Bumbeen
    Bumbeen Posts: 263 Member
    PLEASE HELP!!!!!

    I am at my wits end with my husband's pickiness. He doesn't like any veggies except corn & carrots. He doesn't like any fruit except green apples & bananas. He doesn't like beans, spicy food, olives, sour cream, cottage cheese, ketchup or any other kind of condiments, and there is probably a lot longer list.

    This really messes up my diet, and frustrates me because I feel like I can't cook what I like. He gripes and complains if I add something he doesn't approve of. Even if he can just pick it out. He claims things make him sick, but if I cook chicken with black beans and he picks the beans out, he is still eating the juice. So wouldn't that make him sick?

    It's gottens so bad that I feel guilty if I cook chicken alfredo with broccoli, or stir fry with bell peppers. I feel guilty when I even buy tomatoes. I am not FORCING him to eat them. I just want to cook the food. If he doesn't want to eat something he can pick it out. But he sees this as me being selfish and not considering his feelings. Then he yells, and we get in a big fight over something so stupid. I just want to get healthy and would like it if he would join me in this journey, and support me. <sigh>

    Does anyone else have a spouse or child like this? Do you have any advice on how to work around it, or to get him to TRY new things??

    Tell him to suck it up. I would love to have a woman cook for me.. ugh..
  • danamariers
    danamariers Posts: 155 Member
    My husband was exactly like that- didn't like anything. So I stopped cooking to accomodate his pickiness. I make enough for 2 people. If he likes it, then he's welcome to eat what I make. If not, he has to make his own stuf and I take leftovers for lunch.

    Initially he didn't like it because we weren't eating together but I don't run a restaurant. Eat what I make or fend for yourself. Now he tries new things and is actually enjoying eating meals that don't consist primarily of pasta/cheese. Even when I have my picky nieces/nephews over it's the same rule: you get a choice of things I can make for supper- pick it out and eat it. If they decide they don't want it, I put their meal aside and will heat it up when they're ready to eat.
  • traceytwink
    traceytwink Posts: 538 Member
    Um ever thought about telling him if he doesn't like it cook his own meals, don't feel guilty about eating the good stuff ( I mean veggies) think he might change his mind then try it you never know ????
  • purplegoboom
    purplegoboom Posts: 400 Member
    He's an adult and and can make his own dinner. If I make dinner for the night in my house, it's "you either eat what I cook or make your own food". It's the same if my husband cooks, if I don't like it I get my own food.

    Explain your doing this for your own health and his as well, and how important it is to you. Tell him how unhealthy dinners are negativly impacting your health. If your man refuses to change, fine. Buy him frozen dinners, continue making the healthy stuff for yourself. If he complains "there's frozen pizza in the freezer."
  • Tell him if he's going to be that picky (and that obnoxious about being that picky), he'll have to cook his own meals.

    It sounds like he's being a bit of a manchild about this so going all or nothing might be your best bet.
  • purplegoboom
    purplegoboom Posts: 400 Member
    Tell him if he's going to be that picky (and that obnoxious about being that picky), he'll have to cook his own meals.

    It sounds like he's being a bit of a manchild about this so going all or nothing might be your best bet.

    Manchild is such a great description.
  • GuybrushThreepw00d
    GuybrushThreepw00d Posts: 784 Member
    He's an adult and and can make his own dinner. If I make dinner for the night in my house, it's "you either eat what I cook or make your own food". It's the same if my husband cooks, if I don't like it I get my own food.

    ^^ this. Time to share the cooking.

    Also, tell him to man up, and stop whining.
  • My husband too, I will make the full meal for him and the kids and a modified meal for me. Example: Spagghetti - I make thiers with noodles, salad and bread. I make mine with the sauce over chicken or fish and a salad.

    I am cooking for a big family so I know its a little different. And yes, if he doesn't like what you are making - let him make his own dinner!! I would not be mad if I had dinner made for me everynight. :)
  • horseplaypen
    horseplaypen Posts: 442 Member
    My boyfriend can be picky too, but lucky for me in the opposite way! He was vegetarian about six years ago or so, and then swung around and decided to eat paleo. Fortunately, I'm fine with eating this way so I have no problem accommodating his requests, but if I were in your shoes, I would do what many others have already suggested and tell him kindly but firmly that you are his wife, not his personal chef, and ask him to please respect your health enough to understand why you want to eat the way you do, and to respect your time enough to not expect you to cook twice for him.
  • I make enough for 2 people. If he likes it, then he's welcome to eat what I make. If not, he has to make his own stuf and I take leftovers for lunch.
    ^^ this.

    My husband will eat anything, thank goodness, but I dated a guy for 3 years that was like this. No vegetables. No fruit. No sauces. He wouldn't even eat a pop tart, you never know what's in that filling it might have touched fruit! Favorite meal was plain State Fair frozen corn dogs.

    I made what I liked. I kept a loaf of bread and a package of bologna on hand. If he didn't like what I made he could make himself a sandwich or a State Fair corn dog (or 5), though I refused to buy those, he had to buy them himself.

    He also had fake allergies. Allergic to onions (but not onion powder), etc.
  • appelsiinipuu
    appelsiinipuu Posts: 97 Member
    When I met my husband, he was a super picky eater. But little by little he changed... he started tasting different foods and when he found out that he actually liked them, I think that gave him more confidence.. and that lead to trying even more things! Now he pretty much eats anything and I seem like the picky one. LOL. But I love cooking for him as he always loves it, no matter what I make.
  • I make my husband eat what the hell I give him. Lol.
    Some things he just deals with...other things we compromise on...like mushrooms. None for him. EVER. :)
  • lstnlondry
    lstnlondry Posts: 1,794 Member
    It's exhausting-especially if your husband is pickier than your 4 children.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    There needs to be more sandwich making and less husband bashing, He isn't on your lifestyle change.
  • rascallycat
    rascallycat Posts: 248 Member
    The rule in my house is.. If you don't like what I made to eat, fix your own damn food or starve!
  • grelca
    grelca Posts: 10 Member
    You might want to look up information on supertasters. It's not the same thing as being picky for being picky's sake. His tastes sound A LOT like mine.

    That said, I never expect my mom to cater to me when she's cooking. If she wants something I can't eat, I just make something else for myself.
  • foxxm
    foxxm Posts: 19 Member
    I am this picky eater! Although, I don't do the fake allergy thing. I don't eat beef, seafood, fish, pork, or poultry on a bone. My husband won't touch cheese ravioli or eat a salad that doesn't consist of iceberg, grape tomatos, carrots, TONS of cheese, olives, and a RIVER of dressing.

    We do make two meals most nights to keep ourselves happy. What I like to do is make "his and hers" meals. For example if I make lasagne, I only put the beef, onions, and peppers in his side. On my side I use ground turkey or make it just plain cheese. Then I put somthing obvious on top (like an initial made of olives) so we we know who side is whose. Then I tupperware the leftovers to eat later in the week.

    You can do this alfredo too. If he doesn't like it, make a small batch and tupperware the extra servings. Then make him a Paula Dean platter and tupperware his extra servings. If you do this a couple nights a weeks, eventually you will have a stash of individual meals and you can eat what you want without him giving you the stinkeye.
  • devilwhiterose
    devilwhiterose Posts: 1,157 Member
    I'd tell my husband to make his own damn meals then.
  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 1,282 Member
    My fiance is the exact same person! I swear he will only eat meat, bread, and cheese. Corn and green beans are the only veggies he will eat, and strawberries and bananas on the fruit side. I have tried everything to convince him to eat healthy or even just try new things. It came down to me cooking for me and making a similar version for him. He eventually wanted to try some of the things I was eating, SOME.So far in two years I have been able to introduce jalapenos, rasberries, blueberries, soy milk, and low fat versions of his favorite foods into his diet. Oh, and I also hide spinach and greek yogurt in his smoothies and throw flax seed and use whole wheat flower in his breakfast muffins. He doesn't know the difference. He is a terrible soda drinker, probably five cans a day, so I make him drink two cups of water for every soda he drinks.

    I would say that as hard as it is, he probably won't change unless he feels there is something in it for him. He grew up in a little country town where his mother believes butter and bacon will fix all problems. lol
    err
    An example is, this morning I made him a "strawberry/banana smoothie" that actually had strawberries, bananas, raspberries, blackberries,spinach, kale, greek yogurt instead of milk and a touch of almonds. Never knew the difference. Then I made grilled chicken and jalapeno wraps for breakfast. His was wrapped in a tortilla and mine in romaine lettuce. It is annoying sometimes, and weekends he has to make all his own food. But, I like to cook and he appreciates me trying. Sometimes.
  • RobinC37
    RobinC37 Posts: 242 Member
    There needs to be more sandwich making and less husband bashing, He isn't on your lifestyle change.

    He eats 2 or 3 times a day. I eat 5-6 times a day. That means I prepare up to 9 different meals EVERY SINGLE DAY. That's 63 things per week. You try doing that and let me know as soon as you start getting a little fed up.

    Edit: forgot to mention he won't touch leftovers, and we don't even have a microwave. So I cook a lot of single portion meals. Nor can I feed him the same thing within 2 days of last having made it.
  • unnur16
    unnur16 Posts: 140 Member
    I'd tell my husband to make his own damn meals then.

    this for sure
  • anoette
    anoette Posts: 29
    My boyfriend is like this, but he has a food phobia! His diet consists of fried chicken, chips, packet noodles, some chocolate bars, energy drinks, some packet of crisps and porridge. Oh, and cheesecake! Odd thing.
  • cristeberga
    cristeberga Posts: 251 Member
    My husband asked me last night: "When are you going to cook NORMAL food?". :explode:
  • jsiricos
    jsiricos Posts: 340 Member
    My son.. 21 years old, skinny as a rake..

    Pizza, Hot Dogs, Chicken Nuggets, Hamburgers, Spaghetti, Chicken (finally), Rice, Broccoli and just recently, Brussels Sprouts
    Most with ketchup, washed down with soda

    Most the time, he makes his meals, I make mine. Works for me!
  • MrsRamseyForever
    MrsRamseyForever Posts: 28 Member
    I have to agree with the others who have said to tell him "if you don't like what I am cooking, cook your own blasted meal" :P. But I know that sometimes that doesn't always work (and it sounds like he can be, as others have stated, a bit of a "manchild" about this issue).

    My husband is a bit picky (more so than myself and even my kids) and so like some others have suggested I usually will modify things a little bit to make sure he gets enough of what he likes to eat and the kids and I have other things too. BUT- I definitely don't sacrifice my time or health to totally accommodate him. I have gotten him to try some things by hiding them in other things (like someone else suggested) but they have to either look similar to something else (tricked him with asparagus one day by putting it in a stir fry- he thought it was green beans) or be covered in tomato sauce usually (or so small you don't know it's there). No matter what way I do it, though, I can never get him to try broccoli or cauliflower! He has a bit of a sensitive sense of smell, though, so I think that is the turn off of some foods for him (can't even have tuna in the house- but that doesn't bother me too much, never ate it much to begin with).

    One thing to think about, also, is how he grew up eating. Like another poster said about her husband, he grew up eating "Paula Deen" style :). Sometimes it is hard for people to step out of comfort zones and that might be part of the issue. If he grew up eating a certain way and the way you are wanting to eat is vastly different, it might be hard initially for him to step out of the comfort of familiar foods. My husband grew up eating pretty bad (his family has always been short on money, so a lot of what they ate came from cans or was something like spaghetti or taco casserole) and it took a bit for me to get him to try a different way of cooking things. Also, his mom is not really the greatest of cooks (pretty bland food and veggies from a can) and I think that has played into some of his not wanting to try certain foods again. If the first time you try a food you have a bad experience with it or it tastes horrible, a lot of people might not want to try it again because of the memory of it tasting so bad. I am like that with liver- tried it once and my memory of eating it was like eating a sponge that just exploded in my mouth (not quite the best description but close enough), so I refuse to touch it now :). Same with orange juice- got sick after drinking it once and haven't drank it since (although I don't really like anything orange very much, so that is probably part of it too). So, that might be something to think about (not that it should change your actions or eating, though).

    Sorry, I kinda wrote a book. Hope some of that helps you, though. Bottom line: you do what you have to do to keep yourself on the track of eating healthier. He's a big boy and can fend for himself if he doesn't want to reach a compromise on eating habits.
  • ubermensch13
    ubermensch13 Posts: 824 Member
    Why do women marry men who can't cook for themselves?? Seriously? If you aren't going to eat what is cooked for you..starve!
  • MrsRamseyForever
    MrsRamseyForever Posts: 28 Member
    There needs to be more sandwich making and less husband bashing, He isn't on your lifestyle change.

    If he wants a sandwich, he can make his own d@mn sandwich! She shouldn't have to make different meals for both of them just to accommodate his pickiness! And it doesn't really sound to me like she is either bashing him OR trying to make him completely change (she said she would like for him to join her on this journey but not that she is completely trying to change him)! She is just looking for some ideas on how to keep herself on track AND keep the tension in the house down (because it sounds like food is a point of fighting in their house if things aren't how he likes them).
  • Mpol2
    Mpol2 Posts: 442 Member
    To all those who are trying so hard to make 2 meals, sneak in veggies, and enhance your partners' health, I admire you and am amazed by your loving efforts.