120 days later, I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY MAMA!!!

(sorry, no pictures, cause i cant figure it out)

FIRST AND FOR MOST - my grammar is awful and my spelling is horrible, English is my first language but i still suck!

okay here goes

on july 29, 2012 i received a call from my sister, the second i got off of work .. literally my phone rang at 6:00am on the dot. I answered it and she seemed pushy - telling me to rush home but dont get into an accident ! as i walked into my house, the door was unlocked, that was rather weird for my sister and i opened the door and called her name - she said i am here in the living room and i entered the living room, I asked what's up ? her eyes filled with tears and she cried out , "MAMA DIED IN HER SLEEP!"

my heart fall to the floor and i begin to cry ! She was only 45 years old. She passed away from several health issues - diabetes , enlarged liver, enlarged heart and the list goes on...

i fall into a deep depression, worked as much OT as i could so i didn't have to feel the emotions! she will never meet her grand babies, never see me get married or graduate from college or see me at my goal weight. i began to stuff my face with food . i was eating nearly 4,000 calories a day and 90% of it was empty calories - in the 2 months after she died i gained 20lbs of pure fat - i was 23 years old - going in the same direction as my mama - I WEIGHED 307.2 !

i came home one day and cried for 2 hours and i told myself, YOU HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT, OR YOU WILL DIE at a every young age! i knew this journey was going to be hard, tough and very emotional but worth everything ! worth all the sweat and tears and pushing my body to do things, it has never done before!

a big thank you to god, for giving me the hope and strength to keep going even though i wanted to give up a lot of times.

a big thank you to my fiancee who has been there for me since 2010. he is so amazing - ill share a little story about him helping me -

one of my co workers asked me if i was losing weight for myself or my man !
I STARTED BUSTING UP LAUGHING , i said for myself.. DUH!!!!
i said that man loved me at my biggest and was there for every shred tear and held me every time i said it was too hard.

when i first started - i could barely do jumping jacks... and i started doing the pink method work outs, which is a work out and diet plan for females. As i was there in my living room trying really hard to do the work outs after 2 minutes, i fall to the floor and said, it just too hard. Daniel kept saying, come on boo, you can do it. and i told him, no i can't, it too hard. and he said, yes, you can do it ! i'll do with you , but don't tell anybody. i looked up and said, you will really do a girl work out with me and he said yes, just dont tell anybody!

every time after that when it got hard, he would tell me - baby, do the the beginner, do the beginner, copy the girl the in the back! come baby, don't quit, do the beginner - he would even pause the dvd so i can catch my breath but he never let me quit!

that man loved me and held me up even when i didn't believe in myself. he is my best friend and i love him so much

i am doing it for myself , but i owe my biggest fan the best person that i can be!


120 days later , I AM DOWN 45 LBS! - i have a lot more to go but i will never give up ! i'll keep pushing!!! i promise !

fyi - i didn't do the pink method diet just the work out - its easy enough to keep up but hard enough to test you !

i did that for a few weeks until i felt confident enough to go to the gym

if you want to see pictures, let me know and ill add you to face book and then you can delete me afterwords if you want..