AAAARGHH! maintenance help please?

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yksdoris
yksdoris Posts: 327 Member
in Food and Nutrition
So, I've lost the weight and am now at goal. I look awesome, I feel awesome, I'm happy with myself. And I want to keep it this way.

I don't want to lose much more weight and I most certainly don't want to gain anything back, so I'm allowing myself a range to fluctuate in, otherwise I'll go nuts what with the weekly and monthly weight changes. Today is not a good day: I'm 6lb heavier than my minimum mark

I've upped my calories to just below my TDEE (before you start with the eat more, I'm 5'1 (1.54 m) and at 123 lb (56 kg) I'm on the heavier side of normal weight range. My BMR is 1250 and I only do weights, no cardio - so there's comparatively little burn in my excercises, and I'm not particularly fanatical about it). So, anyways, I figure, If I keep within my calorie goal most of the time, then I can splurge every now and then and I'll be fine, right? WRONG! I can't stop eating :( it's like... I now have a compulsion to eat everything in sight. so far I've gone to the limit or over - and not a little over, not under 100 kcal over... noooo! It's a lot over. some days it's so much over I don't even know, so I try to guess - every single day. Of course, there's always an excuse "oh, but it's a birthday, and I've been so good, I can have that piece of cake... I'll make up for it tomorrow" or "it's been soooo long since I had chips, I'll just have a little, it'll fit in my calorie goal" - except, then I won't have the one portion, I'll have 3! And I KNOW it's wrong, and I KNOW I need to get other nutrients in as well and I KNOW it'll bite me in the *kitten* (literally) but I just don't have the will power to stop myself, which is really weird because I did not have this problem nearly this badly when I was at lower calories.

Do you have any tricks for this maintenance thing? to get my head wrapped around the fact that yes, I can eat more now but that does not mean that I have to eat every single thing I lay my hands on?
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Replies

  • sarah5423
    sarah5423 Posts: 152 Member
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    Firstly want to send a big hug to you because you sound so distraught!! I'm also at maintenance and 5'2" so similar height, although my BMR is 1165 so even less than yours :-( I hit my goal back in September and have managed to stay on track and not gain, because I still don't feel as though I'm at maintenance as in I still feel like I have goals to reach. I set myself a number or calories to burn each week or to run a little further so I'm still challenging myself most days. I think the only reason I've been able to stay the same weight is from being very strict, it's not ideal all of the time but I'm still learning that I can't just eat what I want when I want like I used to. 28 years of carefree eating isn't going to disappear in just one year I think it'll take some time for my brain to catch up. Maybe you could add in some cardio just to give you some extra calories to play with. You enjoy eating so eat, don't deprive yourself!
    Please feel free to add me, I find having maintenance friends so helpful :smile:
  • yksdoris
    yksdoris Posts: 327 Member
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    Thanks! I am frustrated. and it does take time for the old brain to re-focus. Logically I understand it all, it's just implementing in daily life that is apparently not possible... or something.

    I like the tip of setting different goals to reach. I suppose I should think of the maintenance not as the destination but the beginning of a whole new leg of my journey.
  • msbunnie68
    msbunnie68 Posts: 1,894 Member
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    Not sure if this will help but this is how I am approaching maintenance.

    When I reached my goal of 55kg I started creeping up on my maintenance calories. By creeping I mean SLOWLY raising the calories each fortnight/month until I hit a calorie level where I don't keep losing or gaining. I thought if I went from eating around 1400 to eating around 1800 overnight I would do EXACTLY what you are doing. I allowed myself a 1-2kg buffer that if I still lost weight while slowly bumping up the calories it was ok. I have found this works for me because you don't go amazingly silly with yourself and I only initially raised it by 100 cals at a time, and now I am doing it as 50 cals each fortnight.

    If you are finding yourself out of control then take your diary BACK to you weight loss cals you had before for a week, then raise it by only 100 cals (a small yogurt pot) for the next fortnight and assess how you are going. Then maybe step it back more slowly by 50-100 cals until you reach a spot where you just start holding your weight and STOP. This is now your new calorie goal. Forget "maintenance" or 'finished losing weight' because there is NO FINISHED!!!!

    Good luck hun x
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    I hate to ask this but...what was the set up of your diet like before your attempted maintenance? Were you eating a balanced diet with a reasonable number of calories which allowed for some "treats"

    Food seeking behaviours such as what you describe can be the result of an overly restrictive dieting regime. For example body builder can binge hugely after a contest (and rapidly gain huge amounts of weight as well - a lot will be water, but some will be fat. However, this can mess with the individual's minds and cause persistent over eating which then causes actual weight gain!)

    Maintenance should in theory be easy. You simply eat bigger portions of what you were eating whilst dieting. It's not the end, or a new phase but a continuation.
  • yksdoris
    yksdoris Posts: 327 Member
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    I hate to ask this but...what was the set up of your diet like before your attempted maintenance? Were you eating a balanced diet with a reasonable number of calories which allowed for some "treats"

    Food seeking behaviours such as what you describe can be the result of an overly restrictive dieting regime. For example body builder can binge hugely after a contest (and rapidly gain huge amounts of weight as well - a lot will be water, but some will be fat. However, this can mess with the individual's minds and cause persistent over eating which then causes actual weight gain!)

    Maintenance should in theory be easy. You simply eat bigger portions of what you were eating whilst dieting. It's not the end, or a new phase but a continuation.

    see, that's the weird thing: sure, the 1200 kcal per day regime was more restrictive than I was used to. But for the most part I made it work: I still had an ice cream or a glass of wine, but I could tell myself, in my head: "OK, now stop" and still be within my calorie limit. But now, I am having real problems with stopping - which, incidentally is exactly how I gained the weight in the first place. I'd overall eat pretty healthy but then have a calorie bomb of a whole bag of chips in one go, times three per week.

    I don't get it. I was soooo proud of myself for breaking the habit of snacking, and I really didn't miss it so much... but now that I have those few extra calories, somehow the habit's back :S Ok, so it's not as bad as it was before, but I totally recognize the pattern and it's freaking me out.

    I tried going slow with increasing the calories: I first upped it to 1300 in December (if I remember correctly), and then to 1400 a week ago, giving myself a whole month to get used to the new amount; which, you know, overall is fine, I was still slowly losing weight at 1300, and I should overall be fine on 1400 also. Eventually. Except the old habits are creeping back, and I don't like it.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    so what is your TDEE?

    I have found that using the weekly net cal goal makes it a little easier to stick to my calories. my general trend is low monday & tuesday and then slowly going up to being over goal friday and saturday and then lower again on sunday. overall this balances to being within 100 cals of my weekly goal.

    i try to get most of my calories from healthy stuff, and aim to get at least my 5 day, and then after that if i many cals left i can add in treats. but unfortunately to maintain at a lower weight you still have to say no sometimes!
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,650 Member
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    I am not at maintenance yet, but my plan is when I get closer to goal weight, to start inching my cals up a little at a time until I stop losing, then stay there. I have always felt like I was 'on a diet' most of my life. This is how I maintained my weight for most of the years. It is the times that I said 'forget it, I am going to eat whatever I want' that I gained. At 49, I finally grew up and realized that I will have to carefully watch my food intake for the rest of my life, and that is ok, because being at a healthy weight is worth the effort. I am worth the effort.

    Other people have compared it to cleaning your house. You don't put all this effort into getting your house clean, only to sit back and do nothing for weeks while it goes back to being as dirty as it was, no, you do some cleaning every day to keep it clean.

    Mentally, I will be 'on a diet' the rest of my life. I will not have to eat at a deficit all the time once I get to my goal weight, but I will always be making choices and staying within a weekly calorie goal. And exercising of course.

    But you know, you brush your teeth everyday, and will need to do so for the rest of your life. This is no different.
  • ShellyLynn1972
    ShellyLynn1972 Posts: 1 Member
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    I wish I had some insight for you but I find myself in the same exact predicament you are in. I reached my goal and have been trying to maintain but I too, find myself eating all the time, just starving sometimes but I don't make the good choices. I have tried to allow myself the occasional "treat" but it turns into more. Crazy thing is, I have not altered my diet or exercise but find myself slowly gaining weight. I allow myself 1 day to eat what I want but I have to stay within my calorie range so I don't totally fall off the wagon. I have no answers but just knowing there are more people with you can help. If I find anything that works, I will let you know but I just keep banging my head.
  • pwittek10
    pwittek10 Posts: 723 Member
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    I am 5'2 and lost to 115, it eased up to 117, then up to 121!
    My calories have ranged from 1000 to 1200
    I have not increased my calories, I have stayed in my range on a regular bases
    for a YEAR!
    What did change is my walking, which has cut back because of winter
    the other change was eating after 6:30 pm, I stuck to that rule for 2 years

    I want to get back to 117.
    My plan is to start using the treadmill during the winter and stay the same on calories to see how that goes
    If anyone has any insight for us
    HELP US
  • vg8pr0
    vg8pr0 Posts: 47 Member
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    I just joined MFP in January so I am new to this, but after doing WW and Jenny Craig I can tell you that once you hit goal you still have to be careful. Which is how I ended up with Jenny Craig and MFP. I just kept changing Weight Loss Programs but in reality it was "me" and not the program. You have to be honest with yourself and log your food and try to eat as healthy as you can. Everyone needs a cheat meal, just not a cheat day or week, or in my case months.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
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    Maintenance is a big pain in the butt. I'm just going to say it because it is. It's a pain in the butt. I think am finding it harder than losing. My BMR is under 1200 (right around 1150), and my TDEE is under 1800. That's not a lot of room to work with, and that's true of women once we get below the 130 mark, which is probably part of what you're experiencing. On days when I don't work out, I have to keep it at or below 1600. When I work out, I get pretty dang hungry, and then on weekends, when I have a "cheat" day, it can get obscene, and by obscene, I mean that I can eat like a big man on a bulk. My calorie consumption fluctuates all over the place all week long. I've started focusing on the end number, or the average over a week, rather than a daily number.

    And to be completely honest, the only thing that keeps me on maintenance track is exercise, including cardio. If I quit cardio, I gain weight pretty quickly.
  • sijomial
    sijomial Posts: 19,811 Member
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    Firstly congratulations on hitting your goal.
    Good advice from msbunnie previously.

    So it's not really the numbers that are the problem, it's the self-control you need to work on to stop when you feel a binge coming on.
    I'm at maintenance but also doing 5:2 fasting regime - two very low calorie days. Maybe you want to think about having at least some days in your week where you eat under your maintenance so that you have some wiggle room on the other days for special occasions or treats?
    Otherwise I would suggest when you get the urge to have that second portion you make yourself wait 10 minutes, have a glass of water, think if you are really hungry and then decide yes or no.
    Good luck!
  • Robin1117
    Robin1117 Posts: 1,768 Member
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    Wow, well congrats on hitting your goals! You have come a long way. Maintaining is a huge struggle....and it will take a while to hit your stride on what works, and what doesn't. I have been maintaining for awhile, a little over 2 1/2 years. And it amazes me, I did not need any support from this site losing weight, but wow, when I started to maintain I needed all the support I could get!

    A few things work for me. I use my base calories + exercise calories each day, but in order to feel like I'm living life, I average my weekly calories. So if I'm up 2-3 days in calories, like if I'm going out to dinner, or am just feeling like I need to eat 10 cookies, then usually I'm down the rest of the days. And if it averages out, then I am on plan. I use this weekly bar graph on the app to keep me in line--do you have mfp on your iphone or android??? You will find it there and it's helpful at a glance to help w/the balance.

    The other thing I'm thinking, is have you thought about trying IF, or Intermittent fasting? It's kind of interesting. If you eat a huge amount one day, you could not eat again until late afternoon, or however long you can go, and the next day. Sometimes I do that and it helps balance it all out, and I'm not typically all that hungry the next morning after I eat a ton the day before anyway.

    I wrote a blog on this last year when I hit my 2 year mark if you want to take a look: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/Robin1117/view/maintenance-is-a-choice-my-2-years-of-maintaining-263772


    Good luck w/everything!
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    see, that's the weird thing: sure, the 1200 kcal per day regime was more restrictive than I was used to. But for the most part I made it work: I still had an ice cream or a glass of wine, but I could tell myself, in my head: "OK, now stop" and still be within my calorie limit. But now, I am having real problems with stopping - which, incidentally is exactly how I gained the weight in the first place. I'd overall eat pretty healthy but then have a calorie bomb of a whole bag of chips in one go, times three per week.

    I don't get it. I was soooo proud of myself for breaking the habit of snacking, and I really didn't miss it so much... but now that I have those few extra calories, somehow the habit's back :S Ok, so it's not as bad as it was before, but I totally recognize the pattern and it's freaking me out.

    I tried going slow with increasing the calories: I first upped it to 1300 in December (if I remember correctly), and then to 1400 a week ago, giving myself a whole month to get used to the new amount; which, you know, overall is fine, I was still slowly losing weight at 1300, and I should overall be fine on 1400 also. Eventually. Except the old habits are creeping back, and I don't like it.

    I am sure that must be reaaly frustrating. You seem to have done everything right (well, your calorie intake was on the low side but not outside the realms of possibility depending on your activity level...)

    What is your hunger like at the moment? Low calorie dieting can mess with hunger cues meaning you get an artificial sense of little hunger which then ramps right back up again when you raise calories / food intake meaning poorer choices.

    It could of course be psychological - you feel the diet has come to an end so you can completely loosen the reigns.
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
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    I'm not a woman, nor am I ready for maintenance, but, why are you focused on the numbers on the scale? Knowing what I know about the scale, it's more useful for trending and not getting an actual account of where you are. Weight can change SO much according to the scale. If the scale starts to continually trend upward, then yes, tweak something, the same if it trends downward.

    I understand weighing yourself, but if you keep an eye on that number you're going to drive yourself nuts. Wouldn't keeping your focus on your calories, and how your clothes fit, and how you feel be a better way to track things?

    But...like I said, I'm not at maintenance...so I'm just guessing here.
  • reneelee
    reneelee Posts: 877 Member
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    bump I want to read later.
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
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    After doing a few calculation myself, I'm getting your TDEE at something like 1620 at *sedentary*. You're eating 1300-1400 and strength training?

    Why are you even looking at the scale? Once you pop in weight training, measurements and body fat % take much higher precedence over the base number on the scale (or BMI, to an extent).

    You said you're six pounds up, and regardless of any other weight fluctuations, I would ask what your body fat % and/or measurement changes were with that. Don't know? Keep doing what you're doing... but monitoring those things. By upping your calories slightly, you might have some initial water retention, but after that, a "higher" number on the scale might signal virtually nothing... hell, it might go up while your pant size goes down. That's pretty normal with weights in the mix.

    That being said, I'm concerned about some things you said. That "not huge burn" strength training? There are some studies show that some cardio is comparable, but the "burn" from strength training can last over 24 hours. With strength training, depending on what your goals are (which I assume are just "keep at maintenance weight and looking and feeling good"), you're going to still be eating more than 1300-1400; you will, eventually, be spinning you wheels if you're lifting weights and not adequately repairing your muscles. Like I said, a few different formulas only show your TDEE at 1620 at *sedentary*, so with lifting weights, you're obviously needing higher calories than that to maintain. Even slightly less, you're not at maintenance calories anymore.

    Plus, as someone already pointed out, restricting can result in "binges" or lack of control later. You can tell yourself, "I had a good handle on letting things in I liked at 1200," but you're strength training and are eating at a deficit while trying to maintain. Girl, your body's hungry.
  • yksdoris
    yksdoris Posts: 327 Member
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    Thanks all, lots of food for thought here.

    no, I'm not focusing on the weight, I am aware that it fluctuates. I do need to keep an eye on the weight to see if it moves consistently up or down. Yes, 6lb maybe sounds a lot but I know for a fact that most of it is water weight, so no biggie. I have most definitely not eaten enough calories to gain even 1 lb of actual fat. But try telling my irrational self that :S

    As for the daily calories: I'm still experimenting on how much I need to eat, Please don't jump on me while I'm still unsure as to what's going on. yes, I'm doing mostly strength training but guys, I'm not fanatical about it, I don't train every day, on a good week I do 2 sessions. Frankly, I think the trick to my maintenance will be to get a good training rhythm going; and that's something that I've been struggling with for the last year anyways. Work in progress, (don't yell at me firstsip!)

    msf74, I think it is psychological, that somehow my alter ego decides that it's ok to let go of the control and go wild... but then again, I need to be careful about control because I have previously gone insanely overboard with control and anxiety issues and I absolutely do NOT want to repeat the experience. (edited to add: didn't go overboard with nutrition. but did have a burnout at work. balancing my own head is difficult, though I did notice that getting a more reasonable look on my personal life/work relationship got a LOT easeir once I got a better control over my eating habits. it's all connected. who knew?)

    Robin1117, that's a realy good tip about the weekly meter, I'll give it a go, thanks!

    edited to add: nope, I'm not feeling hungry at all - or rather, not any more than I was before. I'm just... craving the junk and having difficulty stopping myself.
  • melsinct
    melsinct Posts: 3,512 Member
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    I lost 30 pounds total. For the last 10 pounds, I had MFP set for a 0.5 lb/week loss, giving me a calorie deficit of 250 calories per day. Once I hit maintenance, it was fairly easy to add in another 250 calories every day. I ended up adding a serving of almonds (170 calories) to my snacks as well as being a little more liberal with portion sizes and I easily was able to reach my maintenance goal without much trouble. That is why I am a big fan of ramping up calories as someone nears maintenance. It is easier than suddenly facing having to increase your calories by 500+ every day.

    Congratulations on making it to maintenance, it is a great place to be! It took me a month or two of eating increased calories to find my groove. I have been maintaining for almost a year now and it has become second nature.
  • jdploki70
    jdploki70 Posts: 343
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    I lost about 90 lbs total, and have kept it off for about 6 months. Granted I don't have the same issues because I am about a foot taller than the OP, so have a lot more calories to play with, but some things that have kept my eating in check are to only eat at the same times I was eating during the diet phase, and most importantly keeping to the workouts that I had been doing. I still have a gym membership, still go between 2-4 times a week, and still step on the scales once a week. The holidays packed on about 10 lbs overall, which put me at 190, but just going back into my pattern afterward dropped the weight within a couple of weeks. I try to stay mindful of what I'm eating, and constantly make healthy choices, like staying away from fried foods and fatty desserts, etc, but I'm just not as obsessed about it as I was. I found that, for myself anyway, I would get inside my own head, start a bunch of negative "failure" monologues, and binge eat my way back to being happy, which would start the whole thing over again.

    Congratulations on the weight loss, and like everything else, the important part is to do things that work for you.

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