Alcohol

melmckay99
melmckay99 Posts: 358
in Food and Nutrition
This is more of rant than anything else I guess, but why is it that people INSIST that I MUST have a drink in my hands at all times when I'm out at a social events? I've started telling people that I just don't drink, but it doesn't go over well with my long term friends as they have seen me drink in the past and know that this is something I used to enjoy. Then they will say "oh come on, just have one", which I think is even worse cause what's the point of just one drink? I'm not going to get drunk enough off 1 drink to enjoy the feeling of being intoxicated so to me it's just calories wasted on a drink that I don't really enjoy the taste of all that much anyway. Then I think of all the other things I could be enjoying instead like chocolate, cake or ice cream. If I'm going to ingest empty calories, it's going to be on one of the latter items that I actually enjoy and not some sugary cocktail or bitter tasting beer. So for the few times that I do decide to drink throughout the year, it's all or nothing! If I plan on drinking it's gonna be to get really smashed and on a very special occasion, otherwise it's not worth it to me. For all the other times that I go out to dinners, bars, events and parties, please just let me me drink my water or my tea without making me feel guilty and like a freak for not conforming to social drinking standards (and you might be able to find me at the desserts table later on hehehe). That is all :)

Replies

  • bcf7683
    bcf7683 Posts: 1,653 Member
    Volunteer to be the DD. That'll shut em up.
  • n0ob
    n0ob Posts: 2,390 Member
    I have written the same message on at least 2 other boards...there are others like you.
  • paulsmisses
    paulsmisses Posts: 178
    good for you - dont buckle to peer pressure :-) im not a big drinker either - not just alcohol, but fluids in general. it makes me gag to drink too much so hate that expectation to 'drink up' you right people should just leave people be!!
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    Volunteer to be the DD. That'll shut em up.

    Winner.

    Other than that, people sometimes feel awkward if they see someone not drinking. I don't know why, but it's a fact. Why not just have one drink and sip it throughout the night, or just walk around holding a drink?
  • Guamybear
    Guamybear Posts: 1,061 Member
    I am with you.. I cut all alcohol, those calories could be used on other things... Lucky my friends have been okay with it and I pretty much stay out of situations where there would be drinks. I got boring according to some people..LOL
  • 4_Lisa
    4_Lisa Posts: 362 Member
    :drinker: yep offer to DD, I'm in the other boat I ENJOY beer (flavor not the effects) so I can't sympathize that way... but some of the low cal beers at least taste decent, so I'm good!
  • RunDoozer
    RunDoozer Posts: 1,699 Member
    You can't control what they say. You can control what you do. Don't drink simple as that. They'll get used to it over time. And it is possible to have just as good a time with out alcohol. Plus you'll probably remember it.
  • jtslim42
    jtslim42 Posts: 240
    I am same.... I used to drink but stopped and my friends give me such a hard time about it. I even lost a few, oh well. Don't let them get to you.
    I love my weekends now that I am not hungover and can actually get stuff done.
  • melmckay99
    melmckay99 Posts: 358
    I am with you.. I cut all alcohol, those calories could be used on other things... Lucky my friends have been okay with it and I pretty much stay out of situations where there would be drinks. I got boring according to some people..LOL

    I have gotten this too (from my bf). Apparently I am boring now. I will still go out and do things with my friends but they just gotta accept that I don't want to put that crap into my body!
  • lizzybethclaire
    lizzybethclaire Posts: 849 Member
    I was always the DD in college because I had a job that had me out the door at 6am. Not fun!
  • myukniewicz
    myukniewicz Posts: 906 Member
    Volunteer to be the DD. That'll shut em up.

    ^^ like this ♥

    i enjoy drinking, vodka preferably :drinker: , but i know that when i drink, i tend not to do it in moderation, which causes me to eat... a lot.
    so now, i do not drink unless it is my special splurge evening once a week.

    i am sorry you have to deal with people who don't respect your decisions :( hope it gets better
  • melmckay99
    melmckay99 Posts: 358
    I was always the DD in college because I had a job that had me out the door at 6am. Not fun!

    Yup, I offer to be DD all the time, or I sip on one drink all night long (usually vodka, water and a lime wedge, it's pretty low cal relatively speaking, or a super light beer).
  • HockeyDadMN
    HockeyDadMN Posts: 8 Member
    I have some really pushy friends, sometimes I order a club soda with lime and tell them its a gin and tonic. Nothing else will shut them up. I am with you though, one drink sucks.
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
    Diet coke.. mini pitcher... no one ever asks what you are drinking. I usually have one of rum and diet coke and then switch just to coke and no one ever realizes that I haven't been drinking all night. So long as there is a drink in your hand they don't care. At least my friends don't.
  • now_or_never13
    now_or_never13 Posts: 1,575 Member
    Either tell them you are the DD or on a medication that you can't drink with.

    Or, get a pop while out, have it in a glass and tell them it's a rum and coke.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    Get drunk

    Start engaging people in really emotional conversations about YOUR problems only.

    That'll put an end to them pressuring you to drink.
  • laurynwithawhy
    laurynwithawhy Posts: 385 Member
    Not to bash your friends (I have some friends that do this too, and it sucks) but if they really don't get it or are that insensitive, talk to them about it and tell them that if they aren't going to support you or shut up about it, that you won't hang out with them anymore. That's what I had to do with some people, and it finally worked.

    Also, like some of the posters said, I will usually get a diet soda or club soda and tell people it's alcoholic if they ask (or if I know they will be annoying about it if I'm not drinking). Some other good exuses are: blood test in the morning, have to wake up early, getting over stomach flu, taking antibiotics, etc. I have used all of those little white lies in the past when my friends were pestering me!
  • vfnmoody
    vfnmoody Posts: 271 Member
    You just need to understand that some people need constant reinforcement to deal with their insecurity about their addiction.
    They feel threatened.
    If you choose not to drink for an extended time you may lose some of your current friends.
  • SarahofTwins
    SarahofTwins Posts: 1,169 Member
    Peer pressure...bleh. Act like its vodka and just have water....then act insanely belligerent.

    Like DARE says...just say No :laugh:
  • Misseena
    Misseena Posts: 55 Member
    One time I actually carried around an empty beer bottle (that my friend had just finished) for the evening so people would stop telling me to get a drink. As the night goes on (and people get more drunk), they don't even notice that you're still sober!

    Now that I've lost some weight and it's starting to show though, it's not that much of an issue. I'll meet up with friends and they'll tell me I look great. Then when they push me to drink, I always respond with: "Remember that compliment you gave me when I showed up? Not drinking is helping me get to my goals faster." I think they get so afraid of sabotaging me, they leave it alone. I always try to be good-natured about it though because I know they don't mean any harm. :)

    That being said, I still like to have my splurge nights every now and then where I throw back a couple of glasses of wine with my girls! All things in moderation!
  • melmckay99
    melmckay99 Posts: 358
    It's kindof sad that I would have to 'fake' having a drink just to make the people around me feel better about themselves. It's a good idea in theory, and is easy to do if you are out at a club and it's busy, but if I'm going out to a restaurant for dinner, or hanging out at a friend's house I won't really be able to do this. Plus I'm a terrible liar. I just want people to be more accepting of my choices. I have no problems standing my ground and telling people I don't want to drink for whatever health reasons I may have. I would also never question anyone else's food / drink choices, unless of course I knew they were trying to cut back on junk food and needed the support. Such a silly world we live in. Everything is driven by stereotypes, social norms and fear of being judged. I'm not on this earth to give you the 'impression' that I am happy, healthy and in love,... I actually want to BE all of those! ... which I am btw, I love my life!! :)

    Cheers everyone and thanks for the encouraging comments!
  • StencilChild
    StencilChild Posts: 60 Member
    Sucks to say, but I had to cut out alot of my "friends". Can't really go to major parties with junk food and booze w/o being tempted by having drinks shoved in my face. I used to down an entire bottle (750ml) of Jagermeister in the first hour of showing up. I stopped drinking, people kept bugging me and pressuring me. So I stopped going. Since I really only saw those friends at parties or bars, I just stopped talking to them. I made new friends, sober, fun, entertaining friends.

    The person you once were, is not the person you are now. Some people (you) change, others (your friends) don't...so whats more important to you? Your health and livelihood, or a bunch of people that make you feel awkward?
  • msalowit
    msalowit Posts: 15 Member
    Certain events where alcohol flows freely, I elected to maintain some sobriety for diverse reasons. After the first or second beer, I wander my way to the faucet and refill my beer bottle with water. People see a full bottle and a good chug and don't bother with the "Can I get you another..."
  • Rebecca_106
    Rebecca_106 Posts: 2
    I know what you mean. I gave up alcohol once or twice for 40 days and going to social events was the worst. Sometimes there may be temptation but that coupled with social influence/pressure is the worst. Makes you feel like you are being the party pooper. I plan to do a cleanse soon which involves no alcohol so that is going to be my excuse for now! I know not drinking will definitely amp up my desired body/health results. Good luck to you!
  • Rebecca_106
    Rebecca_106 Posts: 2
    clever
  • healthyloserxxx
    healthyloserxxx Posts: 25
    I don't think I would make excuses, they run out and ev entually look made up. My son quit and says, the truth, 'I've already had enough for two lifetimes, taking a break'! I say 'do whatever feels comfortable'.

    I've decided to try cutting my wine with seltzer, that way I can have a few cocktails, less calories! Also, 'I'm giving my liver a break'. There, that's a good explanation! :)

    Keep doing what works for you. The party goers are not going to be there when you face the scale, the headache or whatever drives you.
  • abbyrae1
    abbyrae1 Posts: 265 Member
    my man and i decided to only drink socially once a week, we told our friends, some of them gave us a hard time but most were just teasing, we still go out with everyone, just don't always drink.

    tell your friends to be supportive or to get over it because its your choice, and if you arent having fun when you are out with them, you probably arent going to go out anymore (whether you decide to have a drink or not).

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