Killing with Kindness: Take your best shot!

At me. Or someone anonymous, or a political figure, or a celebrity, or whoever you feel like. (Just not at yourself, please, because that's depressing.) Yes, I mean it. Say whatever the hell you want to. I realize that as you're reading this, you have no idea who I am and probably don't care. But that's not the point! This is the internet! Judge me (or whoever you like) based on a few scant words and a profile picture!

But here's the catch: You have to "kill with kindness", or, say something that seems to be polite or complimentary on the surface but actually has nasty implications. If you don't want to be bothered with that, then at least spam up the smileys and/or animated happy gifs with whatever you're saying. The more brightly colored and seizure-inducing the better.

A cheesy example of "killing with kindness", about a celebrity: "I wish that people would stop insulting Lindsay Lohan so much. I mean, the girl is only in her mid twenties, and already she's qualified for roles as a senior citizen! It's truly a new accomplishment for our time. If only everyone else would realize how much they can change their bodies to suit their careers."

I suppose you could call this an experiment in reverse psychology, or satire, or just plain being an idiot. I'd agree with any of the three. But if we harness all the negativity of MFP onto one thread and make a parody of it... well gee whillickers, just imagine the possibilities!

Though I'm not going to be online constantly, I will come back and check every single comment. I will not report anything that is said about me or anyone else here, no matter how hateful. (If YOU feel so inclined to report me or anyone else, that is your choice and you go ahead and do so. But I am not condoning it. This is not a 'troll trap'.) I will not start replying with butthurt comments to everyone. I will not rush to the defense of someone else being insulted, and my advice is that if you are a sensitive person, please do yourself a favor and click "back".

Oh, and if all you have to contribute is to say that I shouldn't have started this thread, please don't bother stating the obvious. :P

Have at it!