So frustrated.

csimpson954
csimpson954 Posts: 28
in Chit-Chat
And it's not over the scale, completely. I didn't gain. Last week I blew it. My calories sucked, I didn't exercise AT ALL, and I was serious about gettting back on track. After 3 weeks of everyone having some horrible sickness I just had a crappy week. I was pumped from reading some inspirational stories on MFP to do better starting today and get on with it. And then? Hubby announces that he's out of town for the next 4 days. Gone. Again. Even though I've heard 'it's the last time, promise' for a good 18 months or more. And btw, it's almost always voluntary if that makes a difference. We spilt up for a few months over this plus a few other issues and mostly managed to fix things. But darnit I am tired of being alone. Tired of playing single mom. Tired of being lonely and sad. And mostly, tired of the fattening *kitten* wine (that i cant work off once ive had a bottle) that I use to stop the tears. Alcohol is my weakness and while I know it's a problem and have a drink free February (to start) coming soon, I am just tired of feeling so lonely that its the only void filler. I'm sad. And I'm frustrated. And all I have is MFP threads and wine and I just don't understand if its enough anymore :(

Replies

  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Being a single mom is very lonely, I'm sorry you are having a tough time.

    Wine is great and fun to enjoy, but my dear I'm not sure if it's intended to fill a void. That's a slippery slope.
    Do you have any friends you can talk to? it sounds like you really need one.
  • csimpson954
    csimpson954 Posts: 28
    I know it shouldn't fill the void, which is part of my new awareness of what I'm doing to my body. The alcohol has to go... Or at least become just fun and social and not a crutch. I'm working on it. And no, not really. My "friends" are 30+'years older coworkers that I don't get so personal with and family, which I also avoid getting too personal with! It's.... Frustrating.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    Why wait until February??
  • csimpson954
    csimpson954 Posts: 28
    No reason specifically. It just seemed like a good starting point, easy to track.
  • angelams1019
    angelams1019 Posts: 1,102 Member
    If you feel like you have a problem with the wine, get rid of it. If you don't have it in the house, you won't sit on MFP drinking your sorrows away....Unless you're going to wake your little ones up to go to the store to buy wine. This will also probably allow you to think things through with a clear mind and figure out what you want to do about your situation. I'm a big believer of changing things in your life that you're not happy with (hence the reason I'm here!)

    In the meantime, enjoy your babies, be kind to your body, and make healthy choices! :flowerforyou:
  • angelams1019
    angelams1019 Posts: 1,102 Member
    And who cares about February. Start right now. Poor it all out. There's no reason to wait until February.
  • csimpson954
    csimpson954 Posts: 28
    Thanks. I did. It's a problem, not like an AA problem maybe but a habit all the same. Sigh. Somedays it just feels like life will never cooperate with my plans.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    I dare you to try to find 20 people on here who think life cooperates with their plans.
    Because you know, it rarely if ever does.

    I promise you are going to be ok. Get rid of the distraction(wine) and really get into taking care of yourself. I think once you feel the emptiness and sadness is less, you'll be happier.
  • sissiluv
    sissiluv Posts: 2,205 Member
    I'm sorry you're having such a rough time of it lately, that sounds horrible. I agree completely with everyone else-drop that *kitten*. Even if it isn't AA levels, it's not making you any happier and you need happy right now. If you can, maybe try to pick up a healthier habit instead? Like drawing or writing, or reading or learning a new language when your babies are asleep-something that you feel will benefit you in a positive fashion and better you as a person, something you can look forward to and will destress you.

    I can't begin to understand the struggles that my mom went through raising me all by herself but I know she had to put up with a lot of **** from me and other people and herself. She's got all my admiration and love and I'm sure that when your kids are older they'll appreciate your efforts just as much. And keep on communicating with your man! Both you and your kids have need of him, and I hope he knows this.
  • gbellsatx
    gbellsatx Posts: 37 Member
    Exercise and good health are great for reducing stress and helping gain confidence. If you have not already done so create some small goals, write them down add them to your profile if you have not done so. This way your MFP friends know why you are working towards a healthy lifestyle and can better support you. It also helps hold you accountable when you put it out there and people can read what you are doing! Remember the longer you go taking care of everyone else without taking care of yourself will hurt you in the end. If you do not take care of yourself how can you take care of everyone else over the long haul! With family issues there is never an easy answer however with your health you own that! There is plenty of support/encouragement/knowledge that you can take advantage of; you just have to decide that you refuse to give up on yourself. So set those goals, small goals, within reason, take advantage of all the support and get it going!

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