Dealing with Jealousy?

Options
BecomingElle
BecomingElle Posts: 112 Member
in Motivation and Support
I know some people face jealousy from OTHERS on their journey...perhaps relatives, friends or co-workers who are disgruntled by their long-time "Fat Friend" fading away...

But this is about coping with BEING the jealous one!

My sister is the "pretty" one. Perfect body eating whatever she wants and without lifting a finger. She knows it too. She shoves it in my face. She always gets all the attention, compliments, boys, clothes, etc. etc. Whatever. I've always been the smart one. Tragically, that just doesn't beat beauty nowadays it would seem. She's tall, tan, blonde...and I'm the opposite! hahaha I love being different, but I'm getting pretty tired of the back-handed "pretty face" compliments.

I know it's not a competition, we're different people, etc. etc. but you've got to understand how hard it has been dealing with this my whole life

***** ***** *****

Have you ever been jealous of someone else? Maybe of someone you knows weight loss? How did you cope? :)

Replies

  • LadyRhodes01
    LadyRhodes01 Posts: 88 Member
    Options
    I'm sorry you're going throug this. Shame on your sister for shoving things in your face.

    I'm positive you are a beauty inside and out. Confidence speaks louder than looks. You may need to work on yours. We all have great qualities. Constantly tell yourself what those things are. I think we are our own self esteem boosters. Even if you have to place post its, or set reminders on your phone to go off to remind you of what a jewel you are.

    The things you dislike about yourself, you can work out for you. (I'm not speaking of our unique flaws). But, maybe things you may want to improve personality or health wise.

    But yes, I had best friends in school who got more attention than me. They were more outgoing and confident. I had low self esteem, so I was quiet and shy. I had to learn to love me. I got involved in activities that I normally wouldnt. (Clubs, drama, and dance classes). To break the shyness and so I could become more comfortable in my skin. It worked, I broke free of the bubble. Seeing me now, you'd never believe I was like that before.

    God loves you and I pray you view yourself the way He does. A uniquely beautiful being! You are a pricelss jewel that can never be replaced.

    Can you talk to your sister and let her know her actions hurt?
  • BecomingElle
    BecomingElle Posts: 112 Member
    Options
    I'm sorry you're going throug this. Shame on your sister for shoving things in your face.

    I'm positive you are a beauty inside and out. Confidence speaks louder than looks. You may need to work on yours. We all have great qualities. Constantly tell yourself what those things are. I think we are our own self esteem boosters. Even if you have to place post its, or set reminders on your phone to go off to remind you of what a jewel you are.

    The things you dislike about yourself, you can work out for you. (I'm not speaking of our unique flaws). But, maybe things you may want to improve personality or health wise.

    But yes, I had best friends in school who got more attention than me. They were more outgoing and confident. I had low self esteem, so I was quiet and shy. I had to learn to love me. I got involved in activities that I normally wouldnt. (Clubs, drama, and dance classes). To break the shyness and so I could become more comfortable in my skin. It worked, I broke free of the bubble. Seeing me now, you'd never believe I was like that before.

    God loves you and I pray you view yourself the way He does. A uniquely beautiful being! You are a pricelss jewel that can never be replaced.

    Can you talk to your sister and let her know her actions hurt?


    You are so sweet and lovely! Thank-you so much :flowerforyou:

    I like the ideas of little self-reminders :)

    That's true I suppose I do need more confidence....I'm actually quite loud and boisterous, but I suppose that's just really a barrier to hide my insecurities about my looks (getting all Dr. Phil here hahaha). But I love the idea of getting into more clubs and everything and finding a nice environment like that.

    I AM A JEWEL <3 hahahah

    And no, I don't think I'll ever tell her I'm so jealous to be honest. I tried telling her once, in a roundabout way, and it only made things worse... she just doesn't understand I suppose, and I can't really blame her for being beautiful :grumble: hahaha
  • LadyRhodes01
    LadyRhodes01 Posts: 88 Member
    Options
    Oh no, I'd never tell her you're jealous. But, that it hurts. No, I wouldnt ever let her know that.

    I bet you are beautiful. You shouldnt have any insecurities. You can add me as well. You can message me when you're feeling down and I can give you that boost of confidence you need. (Voice of reason).

    I think your sister understands, but she doesnt care. But, you're going to have a gigantic confidence boost in 2013! And shine like the jewel you are! Guranteed! Everyone's going to be..like..who's the new girl?
  • Daretobeforgotten
    Daretobeforgotten Posts: 7
    Options
    My sister is tall, blonde and green-eyed; she's also very slender and delicate. She doesn't exercise at all.

    I'm nearly the complete opposite. I'm short, with dark hair, blue eyes and a stocky, overweight build.

    Growing up, I was referred to as the smart one, and my sister as the 'gorgeous one'. I know now that she has really low self-esteem when it comes to academics, so the jealousy goes both ways.

    I always heard from family that I had 'classic' looks, and that she was the 'knockout' and that they'd have to beat boys off with a stick, and that she was too thin. She always tried to make me feel better afterwards, and I love her for that- but it doesn't stop me from feeling miserable.

    I try to remind myself that everybody grows old, and that my exercise and health routine will benefit me in the future, but it's hard.

    Maybe it's fear that you will be more beautiful than her when you hit your goals that drives her to flaunt herself? Maybe you already are, and she's worried other people will begin to see it?
  • tndejong
    tndejong Posts: 463
    Options
    My sister is 21 and has 3 kids! she complains about being a size 2! she is very pretty and tiny. when i started on here, i was 265 pounds. no kids. no conditions or injuries to explain my weight problem. what really got me was a picture of us at my nephews bday party last year. we didnt even look related. she eats tons of fast food and pizza. never gains an ounce. meanwhile im working out hours a day to get this weight off. i wonder who was adopted lol.
  • BecomingElle
    BecomingElle Posts: 112 Member
    Options
    My sister is tall, blonde and green-eyed; she's also very slender and delicate. She doesn't exercise at all.

    I'm nearly the complete opposite. I'm short, with dark hair, blue eyes and a stocky, overweight build.

    Growing up, I was referred to as the smart one, and my sister as the 'gorgeous one'. I know now that she has really low self-esteem when it comes to academics, so the jealousy goes both ways.

    I always heard from family that I had 'classic' looks, and that she was the 'knockout' and that they'd have to beat boys off with a stick, and that she was too thin. She always tried to make me feel better afterwards, and I love her for that- but it doesn't stop me from feeling miserable.

    I try to remind myself that everybody grows old, and that my exercise and health routine will benefit me in the future, but it's hard.

    Maybe it's fear that you will be more beautiful than her when you hit your goals that drives her to flaunt herself? Maybe you already are, and she's worried other people will begin to see it?

    Oh my gosh we are so similar! ahahahha I feel like you are me!!!! haha exact same about the whole sibling thing (except mine doesn't comfort me :grumble: hahaha)

    I really hope those last few sentences are true :wink: :flowerforyou: hahaha xxx
  • BecomingElle
    BecomingElle Posts: 112 Member
    Options
    My sister is 21 and has 3 kids! she complains about being a size 2! she is very pretty and tiny. when i started on here, i was 265 pounds. no kids. no conditions or injuries to explain my weight problem. what really got me was a picture of us at my nephews bday party last year. we didnt even look related. she eats tons of fast food and pizza. never gains an ounce. meanwhile im working out hours a day to get this weight off. i wonder who was adopted lol.

    I can sympathise with you there! Photos together can be the worst. I guess some have it "lucky" when it comes to being naturally thin...

    But I guess there's something empowering about working for it and earning it too :)

Categories