Relationship advice...on a fitness website???

melbhall · May 2010

Okay, so I know this may not be the most appropriate forum for this but I'm throwing it out there anyway...I need help. Now that I am committing to changing my health and life I want to keep the changes rolling, for the better. I want to make my relationship with my husband stronger and I want to be a better wife and partner. My husband has realized that joining the weightloss journey with me will benefit us both and make our bond stronger. Now I want to take the reigns and am looking for websites, book suggestions...anything to read for information on how to be a better partner. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated! And please don't think I'm weird, I know I'm only 27 and have years of growing in my marriage left, but I want to work on changing the whole package here.

Thanks!

hiddensecant · May 2010

Ooh, Marriage Fitness by Mort Fertel! There's a book that's pretty cheap and covers everything in the expensive CD package thing. It's awesome and helped my husband and I through some very rough times.

Whiskey5JDA · May 2010

read these books in this order. captivating and wild at heart both by john eldredge. you could also go to the next Love and Respect marriage conference in your area or buy that book too. however he needs to join you on this journey too. there is only so much 1 can do, but 2 together can accomplish a lot more!

sarahsmom1 · May 2010

I don't know about any books but my husband and I were married 23 years before he passed and the main things that kept us together and interested was to be able to make each other laugh uncontrolably. He had the greatest belly laugh and it came from his toes a real pleasure to hear. Another thing we went for a ride at least 2 weekends a month we gathered the kids made a picnic lunch and headed out in any direction no plans just drove found a place to have a picnic. Sometimes we looked up free things to do within 100 miles of where we lived. Our other passion was to try and scare each other by hiding or sneaking up on each other (we weren't trying to give each other heart attacks or anything). Just be fun and playful Good luck

melbhall · May 2010

Thanks for the input! I have a great husband and wonderful marriage, but I want to be a better partner. I realize how much he does for me and I feel like I don't compare. I love all the book ideas and words of wisdom. Joyrobles, I'm sorry about your husband's passing but it sounds like you all had such a lovely relationship. You made me smile! OH, but there will be no sneaking up and scaring each other, I'm a total scardy cat and would totally have a heart attack. Whiskey and Ghanie, I will check those books out on amazon.

pkt27 · May 2010

Melissa,
Another really good book on marriage & specifically communication styles is the 5 love languages.
Best of luck to you & your family on this journey of health!
Pam

marquesj · May 2010

I second that advice..Read the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.. Once you both learn to speak each other's Love Language your Love Tank will always be full...

Thinwithin2010 · May 2010

My husband and I will be married 28 years in August.We have 4 girls. Of course mostly grown. We also used laughter for EVERYTHING! goodtimes and bad. We also did weekend trips with the girl's and it could be something simple like a picnic or going exploring in the car to see where you end up.. The one thing I have to add is having alone time! Time where just the 2 of you are together. I waited 17 years before I ever went away for a whole weekend thinking "they won't survive without me" but I learned they do.. If your lucky enough to have grandparent's near even a few hour's help's to keep the 2 of you close for thing's you both like.. We did have grandma who would take the girl's overnight, she figured we could have adult time as we had such crazy schedule's but we alway[s used that time to sleep!!!! Oh I miss those day's!! Good luck honey! It alway's find's a way to work out.... Someone told me once that a marriage isn't a 50/50 deal.. Both must put in 100/100 and he was so right!!

Thinwithin2010 · May 2010

OK pain in the butt me.. Never ever think you aren't contributing to the marriage the way your husband is.. I'm guessing you are a mom and my husband say's he would never ever trade places with me... He doesn't have any idea how I do it all. I am sure you are very busy with your home and children so give yourself lot's of credit for that... Plus since your on this site you are taking care of yourself! You go sister!!!!! :flowerforyou:

scottandbriana · May 2010

Im going to second 'Love and Respect'. It points out (and goes into detail) that a woman's major need is LOVE and a man's major need is not.... it is respect. There are many many small ways we take that away from our men w/o thinking about it. Good read!!

JoyElizabeth · May 2010

Hi,

I consider myself to be very fortunate - Beyond marriage, I am also blessed to have many wonderful relationships in my life - relationships of all types and sizes.

And I owe it all to a little card that I found in a strange little newsagency some 20 years ago. When life challenged me to become a better person, it's wisdom filled me and has led me to a very rewarding and fulfilling life. Thankfully, because I rose up to the challenge, I am able to be a living example to my children and I can see that they are adapting these qualities in their own lives - what a wonderful gift to give to our kids.

No, you don't have to read lots and lots of books to create a wonderful relationship, although self-education is the greatest gift you can give to yourself, but the wisdom on this card has stood the test of time and has served me very well.

With your permission I will share it with you now.

~ The Art of Marriage ~

A good marriage must be created.
In marriage the little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I Love You" at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each other can grow.
It is not only marrying the right person,
It is being the right partner.

I hope this helps you as much as it has served me.

Kind Regards,

Joy.

melbhall · May 2010

Thank you everyone for the ideas! Thinwithin2010 I am a new mom. I find it hard finding a balance between mom/wife/myself sometimes that's why I'm wanting to be the best me I can be and hopefully that will spill out into all areas of our life. I appreciate all the comments!!!

CasperO · May 2010

A good marriage must be created.
In marriage the little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I Love You" at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each other can grow.
It is not only marrying the right person,
It is being the right partner.

Wow,,, we've been doing just about all of that stuff for 22 years. And we've mostly been pretty $&% happy. Well I'll be damned.

Nice to see it written down. Thankx.

sonjavon · May 2010

I really believe that the "recipe" for being a good wife, mother and friend are written perfectly in the Bible. I've found this website to be helpful... http://www.proverbs31.org/
I congratulate you for wanting to be the best wife and mother that you can be. I would also recommend the Love Dare - though I have not yet finished it.

Relationship advice...on a fitness website???

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