I'm bored... Tell me a joke :D

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pumpkingoblin
pumpkingoblin Posts: 21
in Chit-Chat
Share your favourite jokes :)


My favourite from when I was small was:

Two pieces of string walk into a bar and the bartender looks at them suspiciously. He says "Sorry, boys, we don't serve your kind here." So the pieces of string walk out again.

They're sitting in the gutter outside and feeling really thirsty when one piece of string says "Hey! I've got an idea to get me into the bar."

So he starts twisting and turning, wriggling this way and that, pulling out a few threads here and there. His mate's looking at him and thinks he's gone completely nuts.

Then the piece of string walks back into the bar. The bartender looks at him a little suspiciously again and says "Here, you're not a bit of string, are you?"

The piece of string replies "No, I'm a frayed knot."

J xx
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Replies

  • 89nunu
    89nunu Posts: 1,082 Member
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    My favorite sandwich is ham and pineapple... cause that's just How-I-Roll!
  • bbail016
    bbail016 Posts: 22 Member
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    how does moses make his tea? Hebrew it!

    what do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee fish (say it out loud, its cute)
  • bikermike5094
    bikermike5094 Posts: 1,752 Member
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    a horse walks into the bar and the bartender says to him, "hey, why the long face? "
  • pumpkingoblin
    pumpkingoblin Posts: 21
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    Hee hee!

    What do you call a guy with no shins?

    Tony
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
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    Knock, knock.
  • pumpkingoblin
    pumpkingoblin Posts: 21
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    Who's there?
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
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    That was over 20 minutes ago! I forgot now :) Hehehehe
  • HiKaren
    HiKaren Posts: 1,306 Member
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    Since one man just found his penis, because he lost weight, and my mind was there. How bout this joke?

    Whats cheaper?
    Beer Nuts?
    OR
    Deer Nuts?

    Beer Nuts are $1.99
    AND
    Deer Nuts are.............................. Under a Buck!:laugh:
  • hearthemelody
    hearthemelody Posts: 1,025 Member
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    That was over 20 minutes ago! I forgot now :) Hehehehe

    That was the first one I actually laughed at.
  • NutellaAddict
    NutellaAddict Posts: 1,258 Member
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    Your face
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
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    That was over 20 minutes ago! I forgot now :) Hehehehe

    That was the first one I actually laughed at.
    :bigsmile:
  • Mrder37
    Mrder37 Posts: 904
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    A man goes in to his local butchers ask the butcher whey so busy the butcher says I had to sack dave ,why says the man. Well I came in this morning and he had his **** stuck in the meat grinder ,ohh says the man well how's the meat grinder doing ,gone says the butcher I had to sack her too
  • FitBeto
    FitBeto Posts: 2,121 Member
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    I had success on 1200 calorie diet
  • PatrickSwayzesGhost
    PatrickSwayzesGhost Posts: 300 Member
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    Two fellows walking down the road see a dog licking it's private parts.

    1st Fellow: I wish that I could do that.
    2nd Fellow: You should at least invite him to dinner first.
  • treagal
    treagal Posts: 264 Member
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    What do Pink Floyd and Princess Dianna have in common?


    ....Their last big hit was the wall.
  • tpatrickjr
    tpatrickjr Posts: 3
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    I went to the zoo the other day and the only animal they had was 1 little dog. It was a shih tzu.
  • NutellaAddict
    NutellaAddict Posts: 1,258 Member
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    What to Pink Floyd and Princess Dianna have in common?


    ....Their last big hit was the wall.

    OMG......
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?

    She was always running away from the ball.
  • FitBeto
    FitBeto Posts: 2,121 Member
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    What to Pink Floyd and Princess Dianna have in common?


    ....Their last big hit was the wall.

    OMG......

    Touchdown!
  • Ashlilee
    Ashlilee Posts: 21
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    What is red and smells like blue paint?

    Red paint!

    HAHAHAHAHAAAAHHAHAHAAAA! Sorry...I'm not a good joke teller. :-(

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