Ramblings of a fat runner on his 2 year MFP anniversary

So here it is, the 2 year anniversary of the day I found MFP and stopped dieting, and starting changing my way of life. It has been a rocky road, and I haven't accomplished nearly as much as I had hoped I would by now, but all in all I am a better and healthier person now than I was then.

First, accomplishments:
1) I lost 75 lbs in the first 8 months, then plateaued for nearly a year, and in the end gained back 30 for a net loss of 45 lbs. Not the greatest, but I am still a work in progress
2) I have completed 3 half marathons and in general just gotten in better shape. When I started 2 years ago, I would get out of breath and red faced and sweat would pour down my face SIMPLY TYING MY SHOES! Now I can jump up and run 2 miles anytime I want, regardless of how long it has been since I did it last.
3) My blood pressure is under control. I am still on medication, but at least now my average BP is 120/65 on meds rather than 140/80 on meds.
4) My resting pulse has gone from 85 to 55
5) My Total Cholesterol was 210, LDL of 143 and HDL of 34. Now they are 171, 118 and 39 respectively.
6) I have developed a much closer relationship with my daughter, due to our running together.
7) "Married People Time" with my wife has gotten WAY better (and more frequent)

Now for new goals:
1) Get back to religiously tracking food intake.
2) Finish a half marathon in under 2 1/2 hours (my current PR is 2:43:44)
3) Compete in a sprint triathalon (planning for July this year, but we will see how the bike goes, with my weight and build, the bicycle seat is NOT my friend)
4) Get up BEFORE work to exercise at least 3 days a week, for least 20 minutes. This is in addition to my normal running and training for the half marathon. This is to discipline myself to stop lazing around in bed until I have barely enough time throw on clothes and get to work on time.
5) Increase my miles per week to at least 30
6) Start training for a full marathon.
7) Help my wife get as turned on to fitness as I have become.


And finally reflection.

I thought I would be thinner by now. I thought I would be almost to my original goal of loosing 140 lbs. I got half way there in only 8 months, and then it just stopped. I kept exercising and logging my food intake, but I just didn't loose any weight. I eventually became frustrated and quit caring about the food part. But I did maintain the exercise part and that is good.

I am still active and can run and hike and swim and all those other things my "skinny" coworkers do. In fact, I think I am the fittest, fastest, healthiest fat man I know. People I work with see me out running all the time (I live in a small town) and then when they find out I weigh over 300 lbs (305 this morning) they can't believe it. How can this 44 year old guy be out running 3-5 miles a day several times a week, and still weigh over 300 lbs? It's a mystery I am working to solve...

I know I eat too much, especially things like cheese and bacon but I have a VERY hard time saying no to them. And my lab work is all within norms for a man my age now, so I know I am getting it under control. I just need to keep at it. I need to get back to tracking my food intake and get that intake under control again. But the scale has lost most of its importance to me. I would like to loose several inches around my waist. I would like to add upper body strength. I want to be able to run faster and longer. But I just don't care as much about the number on the scale as I used to. I have decided not to make any more scale goals this year, at least not until I have met my non-scale goals like increasing my miles per week and lowering my half marathon time.

I guess after all this, I have realized something that everyone on here says, but I never really truly understood before. This is a journey, not a diet. I am changing my lifestyle, not loosing weight. I have made a fundemental change in how I look at food and how I live my life. I no longer simply exist. I LIVE. And I LOVE my life. I am healthier than I have ever been, even when I was young and skinny. I am changing my own personal vision of who I am, not changing how I look or what size clothes I wear. I am a runner. That is now a core piece of my personal identity, and that will never change. It is who I am.

I have not done as well as I had hoped during the last two years, but I have done better than I did in the years before that, and better than every person who has not taken that first step to change their lives.

I have not arrived at my destination, and I may never arrive. I might and probably will travel this road for the rest of my life. It took me 20 years to get here, and it may well take me 20 or even more to find my way back. But I refused to stop on the side of the road and give up. I will continue to strive forward one mile at a time until it's over.

I have not met all of my goals and I fail all the time, but still...

I AM A SUCCESS STORY!