lost 50lbs over the years

So I've lost 50lbs over the years and have recently been struggling. I've been reading everyone's success stories and it reminds me I can get that last 30-40 off! However, I could use some encouragement and some help with Will power. I've been giving into the seasonal Reeses since Halloween (first the pumpkins, then the trees, now the hearts) and this morning I failed to resist a Panera Cinnamon Crunch Bagel with Hazelnut cream cheese that was brought to a meeting I had (worth 560cals total). Even worse this was after I'd already eaten a fairly healthy breakfast of Fiber One cereal and almond milk. I've been eating 2nd Breakfast like a Hobbit using my early morning job as an excuse ("It's like a normal person's lunch, because I wake up earlier than most people")

So I was thinking sharing my successes might remind me that I've done it before I can do it again! So my story:

My parents attributed my weight gain to breaking my leg the summer before 3rd grade because I was a tiny knobby kneed toddler, I'd attribute it to my mom going back to medical school and leaving me with babysitters who thought ramen and Chef Boyardee are sufficient foods. In any case, by 4th grade I was no longer knobby kneed and there were no medical explanations (my parents are both doctors and really wanted to blame it on my thyroid) but alas it was simply too much food and not enough movement. By the end of Middle school I was 5'6" and weighed about 225lbs.


Me at 9 years old


I think I was 15 years old here, but about the same size as at my heaviest. I just look uncomfortable and unhappy at this weight...

That is when I was introduced to my first diet and I lost 20lbs the summer before high school. However, high school offered me freedom to go out to eat when I wanted, and eat what I wanted and I gained all the weight back. Come 2nd semester senior year I weighed 228lbs, and as I saw the scale approaching 230 and started thinking about the life I wanted in college I realized that something had to change. Additionally my mom had lost about 60lbs doing Atkins and I realized I was the fattest person in the family. I started dieting on my own and lost maybe 2 lbs before a friend mentioned she was doing Weight Watchers. I was blown away by how open she was about her dieting and asked her if I could join. Soon there was a group of 5 teenagers and 2 of our moms (including mine)going together. By prom I weighed a little less than 200lbs and by the first day of college I weighed 188lbs and wore about a size 12.

Then Freshman year of college happened. I joined a sorority, felt accepted, had all I could eat mealtime and lots of late night snacking. By the end of sophomore year I weighed 197lbs and saw myself heading in the wrong direction. So I dieted and exercised all summer and got down to 168lbs and a size 8-10. I kept that weight off for about a year until I studied abroad and discovered the magic of Swiss chocolate and Belgian beer. Then with the stress of applications to medical school, a research project, Director of Up Til Dawn(raises money for St. Jude Children's Hospital) and VP of my sorority I lost control by graduation I was hovering below 200lbs.


Skinniest weight october 2008 (same weight as in fall 2010)

At this time I had never been in a relationship (I think because I lacked confidence and was too much of a mom at parties), was getting ready to meet all new people and realized once again I needed to get it together. So I lost 30lbs that summer and went to medical school once more weighing about 168 lbs and at a pretty solid size 8. I felt AMAZING!!!! I had confidence, I joined an online dating site and was turning men down. I was finally asked out by a guys at school and hit on when I went out. And all of this new found confidence and freedom from all of the responsibilities I had in college led me to ignore my studies and make bad choices with the men I allowed in my life. Throughout it all though I kept off the weight. Then in April of that year I met my current boyfriend. He is amazing and we've been together 2years, finally I don't feel that my weight is keeping me from finding love. But during the past 6 months I slowly stopped going to the gym due to an increasingly busy schedule I now weigh 181lbs, I see the scale creeping up and I need to take control!

I consider myself a success because I've kept 30lbs off for 7 years, lost at my best 60lbs and hovered at about 50-55lbs for about 4 out of those 7 years total. I have a dream "job" (I don't get paid yet,but I'm fortunate to be in medicine), I am in a great relationship, and I've come so far, but I want to complete this journey. I want to have a healthy BMI, I don't want to worry about Diabetes, Hypertension, and High Cholesterol. And I wouldn't mind rocking a bikini with confidence!


At my current weight

Starting weight in January 2006
228lbs
Bust 39"
waist 36"
Hips 48"
Thighs 29"
calves 18"

lowest weight in December 2008 and September 2010
168lbs
Bust 36"
waist 29"
Hips 41"
Thighs 26"
calves 16"

Currently
181lbs
Bust 36"
waist 30.5"
hips 44"
thighs 26"
calves 16.5"