Down and (almost) out...

Having a hard time keeping positive about this whole thing. In the past, I've committed myself to programs (usually calorie counting+bootcamps/personal training), and never got the results I wanted. Now that I'm trying this on my own, it's really hard to keep at it. Basically, if I didnt lose it then, how will I lose it now?

I have no umph, or pep in my step like you all do for this. It's like I've already admitted defeat, yet I keep going, almost as if to say "I know I'm never gonna get there, but at least I am doing something good for my body"

Against my attempt to save money and try this on my own, Im going back to bootcamps this week. I'm hoping it might give the me the excitement and energy I need to get back on my game...but Im dreading it. I'm dreading going back to that place where I am so dedicated for weeks --> months...to then see nothing.

I hate feeling this negative and discouraged about it. Sorry for the emo post, I just need a major attitude change, and I'm not quite sure where to get it.

Replies

  • mygrl4meee
    mygrl4meee Posts: 943 Member
    Take it one day at a time is all you can do. Its what I do and its what has kept me working on the new me. I have been at it almost a year and sometimes I get bored and tired of it all. But going back to my old ways isn't an option for me. I really don't miss most of the crap that I was eating and have learned to eat in moderation for the most part. I crave working out and enjoy the gym crowd. Hang in there. You are worth it.
  • it takes time to put weight on and time to take it off... so one day at a time and set small milestones. Keep logging and tracking with myfitnesspal and if you have a smart phone download the app pedometer pro (that version costs 99 cents). it will track your steps and sync with myfitnesspal for added exercise. I also live down the street from Curves and go to that 3 to 4 times a week. I have a 2 story home and climb stairs frequently. That helps.
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
    How much weight do you have to lose? What are you eating during the day?
  • amdarosa619
    amdarosa619 Posts: 98 Member
    Thank you for your responses. One day at a time has been my gig for a while too, but I find these periods of time (like now) where I get in these funks that are so hard to get out of - feeling unmotiivated, discouraged, and not wanting to exercise.
    My goal is to get to a place, like you, where I CRAVE exercise, and it's always been a struggle...almost like I resent the hampster wheel because I dedicated so many months to it without reaping the benefits.

    Regarding how much I want to lose, I've learned to try to not let the scale play with my mind. I've always been muscular and thick, but I want to lose body fat. If I had to put a number on it, I'd love to lose 30 lbs. I've always struggled with a painfully slow metabolism, so that's what my focus is now. Small, frequent meals - eliminating white starches, excess sodium and sugars.

    Keep the ideas coming, though. I could use any help I can get!
  • zombiemusicgirl
    zombiemusicgirl Posts: 98 Member
    Its easy to do things when you are all motivated and excited. Its the day to day consistency that makes it work. I know because I suffer from the roller coaster weight loss motivation myself. I'll be doing great, but then I get stressed with something else, lose focus and back comes part (or all) of what I've lost.

    Just don't give up. Do the best you can today. And remember - if you have one foot in tomorrow and the other foot in yesterday, you piss all over today...

    We're behind you!
  • amdarosa619
    amdarosa619 Posts: 98 Member
    very cute, thanks for the kind words. I'm like you in this sense, consistency has been my biggest battle, not food or exercise...it's keeping at it, and getting through all the dips and twists of the roller coaster. It's very frustrating to be on track, then lose your momentum, and even more annoying when you KNOW that you HAVE to keep at it, even if you dont see results...

    BAH HUMBUG :(
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,324 Member
    you are burned out. I recognize it because i was also. I was on mfp for months and i had no zest, zip, or eye of the tiger like I had when i lost weight before on other plans. I even exercised daily for years and fell off the wagon for this past year and just couldn't get the motivation to get back to it.

    What I did was join mfp a while back and I just went through the motions of logging in and doing my best to track. I would read through the forums and try to learn stuff. But still...no pulse no zip no desire to go for it.

    Finally at the new year..I decided to buckle down and really try to lose. What I did was adopt the eat more to lose more ..by setting my loss at one pound a week I'm able to eat a decent amount..I don't even feel like I'm on a diet. This was a big change from the 1200 calorie attempts and fad diets that leave one feeling deprived.

    After losing six pounds.. i naturally started back to exercising a few weeks ago. Now I can eat even more by adding those calories to my daily total.

    Now..I'm in the groove, having fun finding healthy ways to prepare my favorite foods. I'm finding fun snacks to eat.. i feel like I'm going to lose my weight..and actually be able to keep it off because I'm learning so much from taking it slow and not overdoing it again.

    Good luck..your desire will come back or you wouldn't be here.
  • How many days a week are you exercising? It took about a month for me to find the right balance of exercising and nutritional content, before my energy level went up. This not only gave me motivation to get off the couch and get into the gym (or bootcamp) but to start doing some major cleaning in my house that has been neglected for the past year.

    Become a food nazi! Log everything you eat. Most people don't log things like catsup, creamer, salad dressing...these can make a difference. Watch how much sugar you are eating. Eating lots of sugary stuff can make you high and low. High blood sugar forces your body to produce insulin. Insulin blocks another hormone (leptin) from getting to your brain. Leptin tells your body that it isn't hungry anymore. I had to break this cycle first before I started loosing any weight. Now I know that if I feel like I am starving all day, but I am eating, it is most likely because I have consumed too much sugar.

    Last, I joined MFP over a year ago. I only got serious about changing my health habits in Nov. when I reached 185 pounds. It takes a while to develop a habit for logging everything. The more dedicated you are at logging everything accurately (I bought a kitchen scale and a mediafit armband to help with the process), the more you can reach out to others, have them look at your diary and they can give you accurate feedback.

    Keep at it and good luck!

    Linda
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    I think part of the problem is that you're trying to use the scale to judge changes in your body that just aren't measurable that way. You say you want to lose the fat. You just might be losing the fat but you may also be building some muscle while you're doing high intensity exercises like a boot camp. Do you notice other little things like how your clothes are fitting? How maybe those skinny jeans aren't so hard to put on or how your "fat" pants are practically falling off now? Take body measurements and see if the leader of your boot camp does any kind of body fat measuring - either with calipers or a hand-held machine.

    Also, with that little to lose, make sure you're feeding your body correctly. Your weekly weight loss goal should be 1/2 a pound per week but definitely no more than 1 pound per week. Trying to have too much of a calorie deficit when your'e that close to goal tends to lead to more plateaus because your body doens't want to give up its stores.

    And lastly, you just really need to learn patience. It could take a year or two to get 20 pounds off at a nice healthy rate. You're not on Biggest Loser, you're not obese, you're just trying to lose a little bit of weight and tighten up. HUGE difference in how that works. Trust me, I know it's not easy! I started out needing to lose 100 pounds and the first 60 came of nice and quick but these last 15-20 are driving me nuts at times. But like you said, you're still eating more healthy and exercising and that's still a step in the right direction, even if the pounds don't come off like you want them to.
  • lewcompton
    lewcompton Posts: 881 Member
    "Do or do not, there is no try!" Yoda...
    If you want to, then you will lose weight... Are you willing and wanting to change, then do so... Its not about the time it takes to do it but changing the way that you approach your relationship with food.
    Feel free to add me, I've dropped 127 in seven months... I don't have all the answers, but I have some...
    Anyone is welcome to add me.
  • alpine1994
    alpine1994 Posts: 1,915 Member
    I wasn't excited about it at all until I started seeing some changes. When I noticed my pants weren't digging into me as much and I got on a scale and saw that I lost a few lbs, that's when I was like "hmm, maybe I can do this!" I started logging all my food on here and building up my friends list and it's pretty amazing how well someone's small comment on my food diary or workout kept me going.

    Promise yourself 2 weeks of healthy eating and regular exercise. Force yourself through it. You will definitely see some kind of a change, whether it's on the scale or the way you feel or the way clothes fit. It will re-motivate you. Abuse your MFP friends too! I 100% couldn't have done this without them. So, friend me!! You can do this!!
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,659 Member
    You sound tired and overwhelmed ....... baby steps work well ...... just do one thing differently (healthy) today ...... tomorrow do another ...... you get the idea ..... I started 4 years ago just cutting back on some sugar ...... then concentraing on portion control ...... then taking an occasional walk around the block.

    Good luck & enjoy the adventure !
  • autumnsnow786
    autumnsnow786 Posts: 279 Member
    i used to feel the same way about being able to lose weight. and even when i found this app i didn't use it much. but then i started adding friends and started diligently calorie counting and mixing that with exercise. i hated exercise....still don't like most of it. but i found something i liked. i like to dance so zumba is perfect for me. and then finally the weight started coming off. I started right after thanksgiving of 2012 and although I stalled in between...I've lost 28lbs. So I'm convinced this works now. Another thing that kept me motivated was my cousin's wedding. I wanted so badly to look good that it kept me going and kept me from slipping. Make a goal for yourself, whether its a wedding like it was for me, or a concert or vacation you want to go to. keep that date and tell yourself i gotta keep going cause that's in x-days left. so i guess be conservative about the food and exercise you're logging, drink plenty of water, find an exercise that you enjoy doing, and set a goal for yourself thats a few months away and you'll see differences hopefully.
  • Rhonnie
    Rhonnie Posts: 506 Member
    Unless you find something you love to do you may never really crave exercise, but it will become a habit just like putting your seatbelt on. If bootcamp hasn't worked for you in the past why not try something new? A zumba class? A crossfit class? A hiking club?

    No mater what, don't quit - you do not fail until you quit. You obviously have the will power and stamina to do this, you just need to do some tweaking. You got this!!
  • MightyDomo
    MightyDomo Posts: 1,265 Member
    Not all weight loss is in lbs/kgs it is also in inches, you might be losing and not knowing it!

    There can be many other reasons why you haven't seem the results you are hoping for and it could be one of the following:

    * Not eating enought calories. Your calorie range should be BMR - TDEE-20% for about 1 or so lb loss a week, if you calculate all your regular activity and workouts into these calculations then only extra activites or workouts would need to be recorded and not all extra calories burned would need to be eaten back.
    * Inaccurate tracking of calories in and out. If you are underestimating or overestimating you could be stalling loss or even setting yourself up to gain. Make sure you track anything that consume (including water and supplements, you'd be surprised that some supplements have calories!) and also track as accurately as you can how much you are burning in extra activity. The more accurate you are the better your results.
    * Sodium overconsumption & Water Retention - When you consume high amounts of sodium (2,300 is a recommended maximum daily) then you are probably going to retain water weight, a similar thing happens when you work out. You are sweating, losing water so your body tries to retain what it can. Keep hydrating though exercise routines and have at least 8 cups of water a day.

    I think these are the big 3 that I see effecting weight loss, or progress. So maybe see if any of these could be the issue. :)

    Good luck finding what works for you!
  • ReclaimingSarah
    ReclaimingSarah Posts: 250 Member
    I need the discipline of a planned program or I will NEVER commit. I've done lots of different exercises, but have found that I'm only consistent when I'm doing something with structure (ie Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred or Couch 2 5K.) Even now at the gym, I had a trainer set up a program for me utilizing the 30 Minute Circuit. Left to my own devices, I'd do a few reps and be done with strength training but I know I have to do each station for a structured amount of time and I stick to it. Find your structure!
  • Mexicanbigfoot
    Mexicanbigfoot Posts: 520 Member
    I have been where you are more times than I can count!! I get all hyped up about losing weight and in a few weeks when the motivation wears off, I just give up and stop. One of the things I have done is change my attitude about exercise. I have (tried) to find ways to make it more fun for me, it's like a contest with myself...I listen to music or watch tv. I make sure I add specific tasks to my daily to-do list; ie: walk 30 minutes, lift weights for 30 minutes, 10 minutes on elliptical. It sounds corny but it feels really good when you check that off. Another thing that has helped me alot is getting out in the MFP community. The first 2 times I tried this, I had zero friends on here. I finally put myself out there and I can't even tell you how overwhelming the support has been. I try to post updates about my desire to go to the gym or after I have been to the gym and the comments and support I get from others is AMAZING; more days than one it's been the only thing that has kept me going. You just have to hang in there and keep going even when you have bad days. Make sure you are doing this for the right reasons; for your body and your health and not because someone told you to or made you feel bad about how you look. Nothing lasts forever including this funk you are in. Good luck with your weight loss journey and if you need more supportive friends, feel free to add me :happy: Samantha
  • weird_me2
    weird_me2 Posts: 716 Member
    In the past year of weight loss, I think I've probably had about a month total where I was *excited* and all gung ho about the process. I made it my goal last year to make peace with the scale and truly accept it for just a number, not a reflection on me. I did this by making it a goal to weigh in every single morning no matter what. I did it and as the year went on, I got to the point where I truly didn't think about what the scale said. Oh, I'm up 2 lbs? Huh, let me track that. Oh, I'm down .2 lbs? Huh, let me track that. Day in, day out tracking through the good and the bad.

    I actually gained most of January and February because I was just not keeping my calories in check, then I lost pretty well March-September, but then vacation came and I stopped tracking my food and stopped exercising. In the past, this is where I would have said forget it and then started gaining and gaining. Instead, I kept weighing in and recording it every single day. I maintained from September - January.

    This year's goal was to continue weighing every single day and to record every single calorie containing item I consume every single day, good or bad. I've kept it up so far and really being honest with myself is obviously making a difference - I had my highest % lost so far in January.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    You might not ever enjoy working out - I don't think I will. Don't let that be a roadblock in your efforts though. It's a necessary thing for a healthy and strong body to be physically active. Have you looked at joining a team sport or singing up for a race that interests you? I have found that I would rather go for a walk or hike with friends than spend an hour on the treadmill, so I try to do that as much as possible.
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
    It sounds like your making some good moves in the food department. That is the most important thing. If your way hasn't worked maybe you could try my way for 6 weeks? I say 6 weeks because you have to give your body time to adjust and see if it works.

    1700 cals
    40% Carbs (MAX)
    30% protein (or 35%/35% on carbs and protein if you can)
    30% fat.

    Only eat exercise calories back if your hungry

    30g per day sugar limit.

    Works for everyone who I've got trying it.

    Give it a whirl!

    (food, goals, change goals, manual)

    Zara x

    If you fancy it and have questions PM me.
  • amdarosa619
    amdarosa619 Posts: 98 Member
    Burned out is right! You guys don't know the nightmare I went through with one of my programs...However, stopping is not an option, so I need to find a way to keep going. To answer some of your questions...

    -The program I'm getting back into will have me working out (hard with a trainer) at least 3 days a week. Everything (if anything) in between with be light cardio. Trainers keep me going, making an appt forces me to get there. They are my solution to my lack of consistency and motivation to exercise. Other activities I enjoy are not strenuous enough to give me the workout/results I need.

    - I do have a goal set. I like to create smaller realistic short term goals. I feel those will help me get to the long term little by little. Right now, it's a trip to Texas to meet my boyfriend's family for Easter. That's just over 7 weeks away. Doesn't allow for any dramatic weight loss changes, but I can try...

    -I'm definitely lacking the support factor. I've never really been into online message boards, and the friends I have on MFP are members of my local community who are not really dedicated to it. Feel free to add me. I really appreciate everyone's input, personal experiences and advice.

    -MightyDomo, thank you for all the specific tips but, when it comes to logging into MFP, I will forever feel self conscious that I am not EXACT in my calculations. I log pretty diligently, but I look at it as a guideline - I figure, at the end of the day, if I am consuming less than I burn, staying within my caloric limits (with the right foods), and remianing active, there is no way I can't reach a better overall result. It's just hard to keep at it when you dont see the changes you expect. I periodically take my measurements as well (inches, body fat percentage vs muscle mass, etc), to answer that question, and I was referring to all of that as well when I said I didnt see results. In short, I always FEEL better after these programs, but didnt SEE any numbers budge. I most definitely need to up the water intake though, so I'll work on that...

    After a year of this, I thought this would all be a part of my lifestyle by now, but I feel like I'm still treading water...its exhausting.
  • Every post so far is Absolutely Correct!! Time & Patience!! Gotta Have it. I have the same emotions and everyday I research different questions I have about my workout routine, eating habits, what is the best time to eat and exericse, etc. Your body consistently changes that is why time and patience is necessary. I'm learning to not focus on the scale b/c you can lose inches and body fat but the scale will remain the same. Ultimately, we all know how we want to look and losing weight is just a quick way to provide an answer to the problem. We need to focus on mental, physical, & emotional health becuase they all play apart in "weight loss" Don't stress yourself, be honest & realistic. Set small goals. Right now my goal is to get on the scale once a week and take a picture. The 1st week my scale hadn't changed but my stomach did because I lost inches and gained muscle. Learn about the body in general and then see what works best for yours. Also, the things we did to lose weight in the past may not work now because our bodies and systems have changed so don't get stuck on what you did before, Focus on what you can do now. Good Luck!!!
  • JewelsinBigD
    JewelsinBigD Posts: 661 Member
    It has taken me a year to lose 37 pounds - and I work out 5-6x per week some days for 2 hours. What choice do I have? Let myself go back to the bad habits? Lose all the ground I have gained? I still want to lose at least 70 more pounds - so I have to keep going. I am 1/3 of the way there to my minimum goal and 1/4 to my best goal....and lets be honest - once I get there I have to keep going. So you can't look at like it is what you are doing now. This is what you are going to do always. This is fitness.
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
    I feel this way everyday :(
  • Derpes
    Derpes Posts: 2,033 Member
    Setting reasonable expectations and benchmarks helps considerably.

    For example, if you cannot meet the site suggestions for calories, focus on improving behaviors and gradually work towards a number.

    If you normally eat X amount of something, cut back slightly the next time, or find a lower calorie alternative. I love pizza but have switched to homemade wheat pizza with fat-free cheese. It is not the same but it has helped me manage the vice.

    As for working out, log everything to monitor intensity and results.

    If you can string together several small victories you will create enough momentum to carry you to the next level.

    Expect setbacks and create ways to manage the setbacks.

    Good luck!
  • jungefrau
    jungefrau Posts: 11 Member
    I feel ya.

    I am 46 and was always skinny and then in my 30s, thanks to a Krispy Kreme on the drive home from hubby's work, I gained 15 pds. I lost that when the KK went out of business. Every year, though, I have gained and gained until I am almost 160 -- the highest I have ever been and I am 5 feet 7 inches. Meanwhile, I log everything. I walk my dog at a quick pace every morning for at least 30 minutes and often longer than that. I lift weights while I watch TV for 20-30 minutes and do a circuit plan. I use my mini-trampoline almost every day. I use the stationary bike almost every day. I have terrible knees, so I can't do it for long, but I log 15-30 min every other day minimum. I drink "green" smoothies spinach and protein powder, fruit smoothies in the morning, eat chicken for protein (and I HATE the taste of meat!), stretch before bed...it goes on and on. And my weight goes up and up. I have used MZP and Sparkpeople and have not lost more than 2 pounds in 3 yrs! I hate to weigh myself. I want to cry all the time. And that makes me mad at myself because I think, Good Lord, I have to enjoy life NOW no matter what my size is, but my emotions tell me something different.
  • ZTazlor
    ZTazlor Posts: 65 Member
    Amdarosa619, you've taken a huge step by spelling out your issue and identifying that you want to do something about it.

    Why not try aiming from a different angle...like being able to do proper pushups or competing in a fun run for a cause that is close to your heart, there are normally shorter distance options available.

    I have always struggled with my weight in terms of numbers so I try not to concentrate so much on this, and more on being able to run a full game of netball and still be able to move the next day!!
  • amdarosa619
    amdarosa619 Posts: 98 Member
    Amdarosa619, you've taken a huge step by spelling out your issue and identifying that you want to do something about it.

    Why not try aiming from a different angle...like being able to do proper pushups or competing in a fun run for a cause that is close to your heart, there are normally shorter distance options available.

    I have always struggled with my weight in terms of numbers so I try not to concentrate so much on this, and more on being able to run a full game of netball and still be able to move the next day!!

    That's a great suggestion, Thank you - great way to focus my miond on something else. That may be a hard transition for me, since I look at myself in the mirror every day, but it's worth a shot..

    Anything to trick my mind, man.. So I've been super proud of myself for logging diligently since the new year, and I go to meet a new trainer/nutritionsit last night who tells me all the things Im doing wrong...Came home feeling super hopeless...boo
  • sharkweek
    sharkweek Posts: 165 Member
    I used to feel exactly like that. For me, the key was finding something active that I really enjoyed. Last summer, I started going to the pool regularly -- I don't mean laps, just swimming around and playing water volleyball. Then I started biking, which is apparently my perfect exercise. Now that it's cold, I'm taking up indoor rock climbing. All this stuff would have been really intimidating for me a year ago, but now they're just fun hobbies that happen to be active. It takes that "God, I can't believe I have to get up again and hit the gym, is this even going to pay off??" feeling out of the equation, because I'm not really biking so I can lose weight -- I'm biking because I want to see the prettiness on the bike trail. I used to think I hated working out just because I didn't like treadmills or the elliptical. I thought I was lazy, but it turns out I'm just picky. :)

    Please note: I'm not saying you should bike or rock climb or swim; those are just the things that I personally like to do. If you find what *you* like, it'll be easier to stick with it and harder to get down on yourself. Good luck!