I feel this will be good for me in the end.

krissy_krossy · February 2013

I'm hoping this is an okay forum to post this.

So my husband and I got married in June 2012. It was possibly the smallest wedding you can imagine.But for various reasons, its what we had to do. This photo is from that day. It's me, my husband, and his father (who officiated since he's a minister/pastor/idk the correct term since I'm not a church-goer.) I was almost 200 pounds, my heaviest ever. Even though it was my wedding day (sans wedding dress, cake, and guests, but still my wedding day) I can't stand to look at this photo. Couldn't stand the fact that it made denial so much harder.

So I think part of moving on is dealing with the reality of my situation. This is what I looked like. And I'm so unhappy with myself because I don't think I'll ever be able to put this up in the house, no matter how nice the frame but it's reality.

Anyway, as strange as it sounds I feel like sharing this will help me. Hiding it forever is just continuing the denial. So if you all don't mind to much, I'd like to share it whether or not anyone cares. So I'm putting it out there.

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zealousmissjj_wechange · February 2013

Awww hun... I'm so sorry you feel this way about a picture that resembles a beautiful day with the man you love. One day you'll wake up and see only what actually is in that picture; Just you&him on the day you decided to spend the rest of your lives together. When you're 80 you really won't care anymore. You'll just look at it for what it is: a beautiful moment.

I hope you realise it sooner than your 80th

.

Lots of love!

sunnyside1213 · February 2013

When you reach your goal, you can take a new picture.

jfauci · February 2013

First of all, this is a lovely picture and you are beautiful!! I know that when we see pictures of ourselves, we focus on what brought us to this forum in the first place. And I agree that you probably needed to talk this out in order to get started and progress on your journey. Good luck!!!

strikerjb007 · February 2013

Stop the denial. If you don't feel happy with yourself, do something about it. I personally don't think there is ANYTHING to be ashamed of. That was your wedding day. Do not hide it and if you get on your journey, you will always remember that day! Common, have faith and have a little confidence. Don't deny though. You can lose weight if you are not comfortable with yourself. Many many have done it. The important thing is how you feel and who you are. Engage and you will get results!!!! :-)

Inshape13 · February 2013

I used to think the same thing when I looked at my wedding photo...it has been10 years since we got married. What I have to remind myself is that my husband loved me no matter what I weighed and that is the most important thing, unconditional love. I asked him the other day how he was attracted to me when I was that big and he said, "that was not what mattered to me, I love because of who you are" and it made me realize what I have and how great our relationship is. When you look back at it after you lose the weight remember that he is special and truly loves you for you. Best of luck with losing weight and you are beautiful.

cebreisch · February 2013

I'm so sorry you feel that way about your wedding photo. I have a photo of me at taken after my nephew's baptism and I was huge, and gained more weight even after that. I hated that photo of me, and it was taken about 16 years ago.

One thing - the negative self talk needs to stop. It's good that the photo served as a "reality check", but whatever got you there - there's nothing you can do about that because it's past history.

Now you are empowered to move forward on your journey. One step at a time. Don't tell yourself, "I'm never having chocolate cake again" because you're human. Realize you'll stumble, but the faster you dust yourself off and move on, the better. I had a piece of chocolate cake yesterday even - but worked it in. (Here's how I got started, by the way: http://baysweightloss.blogspot.com/2012/03/losing-weight.html )

You can do this, and yes, it's going to be scary, but You CAN do this! If I can lose 114.8 pounds, you can lose what you want to lose. And by the way, I think the picture is awesome and that you are beautiful.

BeachGingerOnTheRocks · February 2013

This is a pretty photo. You are a beautiful lady. You have a handsome husband, and it was a day that you two committed to forever together.

Yes, you want to lose weight, but don't let it tarnish happier times. Embrace your past and move forward.

sunsnstatheart · February 2013

I gotta say that you two could have some beautiful kids! You both are good looking people, and sure you want to lose weight, but do it with your chin up and squarely facing your goals. Don't beat yourself up! Now get to it!

GiddyupTim · February 2013

I think all of us are too hard on ourselves when we look at pictures. I know I am always dismayed by how I look. I suspect even your supermodels are.

buildingdreams · February 2013

I know I have been in your position. Carefully scrutinizing the pictures. I would put that picture up and do it proudly. You are going to need that now as motivations and when all your hard work has paid off you will then look at it and admire all the hard work you put in to get where you are.

whiteheaddg · February 2013

Thank you for your service.

Good luck on your goals.

stephaniebreaux18 · February 2013

I understand how you feel, totally.

I was 210 pounds when I got married.

There is a whole wedding album, but it is in a closet somewhere. I never ONCE looked at these pictures. I am terrified, lol. I won't even let people take pictures of me now and I am down to 185. I feel disgusting because I am so short. I feel like I look horrible! Honestly, I put on the weight well (because of pear shape) but I feel horrible about myself. So I can totally relate...

You look beautiful, though! I know anyone telling you won't make a difference, but know that the worst judge to you is yourself! Nobody else will judge you as you judge yourself. I know, I know, hard to believe.... but it is true!

I wish you luck! Just don't give up, keep at it, and you'll get to where YOU want to be!

irenematilda · February 2013

I think you both look lovely, but if I saw that photo in a slim woman's home and realised that it was how she used to look, I'd think 'Wow. Not just enviably pretty, but she had the strength and determination to get fit and healthy as well'. Hang it on your wall - it's beautiful and how your friends and family already know and love you, and one day it could be an awesome source of pride when it demonstrates just what you're really capable of too.

kpnive · February 2013

I can relate to seeing pictures and not being happy, but. you guys look really happy and beautiful and it captured the both of you on your special day. BUT.... If it really bothers you a lot, what about a do over? Get professional pics done or have a good friend do a photo shoot. It wouldn't trump this special day, but it may make you feel better and what you have accomplished since then! You are STILL Married, still in love and are working towards a better you. I'm not sure if you wanted a traditional photo with the traditional white dress or not, but you can rent them, but regardless...we all evolve and grow throughout the years, (need i remind jr high and high school pics!!!)....so embrace you for you at that moment, and really embrace you now and going forward!

lilbell72 · February 2013

Awww sweetheart, you are a beautiful woman and your husband a handsome man, who obviously love one another very much! However I know how you feel, I have pictures of me at my heaviest and I hate them and wont put them up or I get cross when people tag me in pictures on facebook!
That being said we must stop associating self worth and beauty with weight. So I needed to start changing what was in my head and soon my body followed.

Skinny people hate pictures of themselves too, its all about self esteem and confidence!

Its your picture, so its your choice. I think you look very pretty, however you can always take more pictures!!

DamnImASexyBitch · February 2013

I look back at my wedding photos and wish that I had tried harder then to be the beautiful thinner bride. I get what you're saying. However I also can see, and relive the joy we had in our hearts as we pledged our love to one another and made a committment to become a family. Plus I think it just gives me more incentive to reach my goals, so we can have a renewal of our vows in the future.

Just remember you're beautiful and your husband thinks you are too. Congratulations!

jsj024519 · February 2013

I am sure you will reach your goal. Find your happiness and keep it forever.

Still_Fluffy · February 2013

I too was at my heavest when I got married. I HATE looking at any wedding photo that I'm in. When my 2 1/2 year old daughter saw the photo she asked who was that with mommy? For me its good to remind my self what I was and know I will never let me self get that big again.

Sballard418 · February 2013

Same exact thing. I thought I looked decent in my wedding dress (court house marriage nothing fancy) until I saw pictures of myself. I was appalled as well. I DO think you look beautiful. I love your dress your smile everything. My pictures are in the glove box of my husbands truck. They were just pictures people took. I hate them as well. I was so happy on my wedding day that I didn't see myself the way I guess I really was. Then there are pictures from someone else's wedding...don't get me started those I am using for my before picture. Again you really are beautiful.

I feel this will be good for me in the end.

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