Im worried about my partner

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nookeetoone
nookeetoone Posts: 72
in Motivation and Support
First a little background info. We're in a LDR so we don't see much to each other physically.

Yea... So since I started this calorie journey, Ive been more attentive about my eating habits. This has also made a lot more sensitive to what my partner eats. Not that I wasn't worried before. But I guess I kinda want a general opinion here.

So... The problem with him is that he doesn't get hungry. I know it's weird. And I don't really understand it. Maybe its just a deficiency. I dunno.

But he's also vegetarian. And he eats very little. I get so worried. Ive talked to him about this numerous times, but each time he tells me he knows all that stuff about metabolism and the amount of food one should. In the same breath he assures me he's fine and he's always eaten like this, and he knows his own body well enough.

I suspect on many days he eats way less than 1000 cals.

The weird thing is that he's not skinny. Though he tends to get plenty of exercise through his hobbies and interests. He likes to hike and work with wood which requires lots of sanding and whatnot. And he doesn't eat unhealthy stuff either I suppose.

Anyway, can anyone give me ideas on how to tackle this? And if anyone has some well done studies on metabolism and diet that I could show him? Preferably scholarly or scientific ones? ... I tried looking but I'm not quite finding what I need. Mostly it's just blogs.


Help of any kind is appreciated.

Replies

  • BamBam125
    BamBam125 Posts: 229 Member
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    If it's a long distance relationship, how do you know for sure what he eats every day? Unless he's logging every detail on MFP and has his diary open to you, I can't figure out how you could track his eating habits very well from afar. Heck, I don't even know what my husband eats every day and I live with him. (What exactly he has for lunch is generally a mystery, but sometimes I know the genre... Friday is most likely pizza). He knows I'd be more than happy to pack him something (I pack my lunch) but he enjoys his lunches with the guys from work. It's a minor vice ($$) I'm happy he can enjoy.

    Unless your BF is complaining to you about a health issue, I would just let this issue slide for now, especially since you've said he isn't underweight.
  • msaestein1
    msaestein1 Posts: 264 Member
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    If his doctor isn't worried, I wouldn't either
  • MizSaz
    MizSaz Posts: 445 Member
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    You didn't take any notice of this before you started counting your own calories. It wasn't a problem then, and it isn't one now. You're suffering from "convert syndrome"- you've found this new way of life and you fear for the soul of anyone who doesn't. Unless he's sick or something, don't look for a fight where there isn't one.
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
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    Not getting hungry isn't that weird .. If I don't eat, I dont get hungry. More specifically, after I wake up in the morning, if I don't eat, I can go all day without eating and never feel hungry. As soon as I have a snack or meal, I'll become hungry 3-4 hours later.

    Makes having the occasional fast day easier though.
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
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    Men don't make as much of a public issue about hunger as women do.

    My wife complains that I am never hungry. I do get hungry, I just don't make sure everyone else knows.

    If he is eating good food, I wouldn't worry about it.

    Good Luck.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    I think it's a tough thing to approach since, as someone else pointed out, you really have no clue what he's eating. Just because he doesn't eat meat doesn't mean he's not eating just veggies. I know at least two vegetarians who are overweight/obese because they still eat junk. This could very well be why he's overweight.

    Look, I get it, I have the same concerns about my brother because the way he talks, I don't think he eats nearly enough, but without knowing for sure, I can't really say much.

    Sounds like you've voiced your concerns and he's assured you that he's fine and I think you should leave it at that. Nagging never helps...
  • BamBam125
    BamBam125 Posts: 229 Member
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    Men don't make as much of a public issue about hunger as women do.
    My wife complains that I am never hungry. I do get hungry, I just don't make sure everyone else knows.

    Hah! My house is the opposite. If I'm hungry I'll just get up and find something to eat. Case in point, we had company over and were planning to go out for brunch but I was up very early and so I ate a pear at the house. No one commented even though I ate it right in plain sight. I ordered something light for brunch. Later that afternoon, hubby asks "Where did the pear go?" (It was the last one. He doesn't even like pears so it was just a curiosity thing.) He mom laughed because she couldn't get her son to believe that I'd sat at the kitchen table with my kindle for a good 15 minutes that morning, happily munching on my pear while he read the news a few feet away. I get grouchy when I'm hungry. Better to just eat something.

    When he is hungry though, he's more vocal about it. Usually in the whine of, "It's 8 o'clock and I'm hungry." Nowadays, I try to make sure dinner is ready between 6 and 7:30, no matter who is cooking.
  • OkaNekko
    OkaNekko Posts: 33 Member
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    I am almost finished reading the "Fat 2 Fit" book (written by the guys who host the website where you can calculate your BMR. If you haven't calculated your BMR yet, I suggest you go to http://www.fat2fitradio.com/tools/ and do so.)

    One of the main points made in the book is how important it is to eat enough calories. You have probably heard before how when you severely reduce calories, your body will break down your muscles. The book explains why this happens. But here is the scary part: (direct quote) "So what would be the range of pounds of muscle that the average person could put on in a year?...An average 30-year-old man, working out hard and eating properly for an entire year may be able to gain five to ten pounds of muscle in that year. The average woman would be lucky to gain half of that. Someone eating below the Basal Metabolic Rate can lose this much muscle in a month or two." YIKES. See how hard it is to build muscle and how easy it is to lose it? That drop on the scale feels great, but if you are losing muscle, you are hurting not helping. Another quote: "Should people eat at their current Basal Metabolic Rate? No, you should not eat at your body's minimal survival level. The minimum level of calories to safely eat per day would be 20% higher than your BMR. Example: If your BMR is 1500 calories, your minimum daily caloric intake would be 1800 while losing fat (1500 x 1.2).

    Hope this is helpful.
  • nookeetoone
    nookeetoone Posts: 72
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    Well the thing is, these things did concern me months before i even knew of MFP.... And I know because... Oh yea I remember. He stated hes a vegetarian and then out of curiosity i asked what he then eats.
    And hes just been dropping hints about a very small diet >_< Maybe I shouldn't be too concerned. I try not to. But Ive always been conscious about how one should eat(even if I didn't do it correctly)...

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