Insecure

You aren't alone - my husband tells me how sexy I am all the time and all I can think is how can this (as a grab a handfull of fat on my belly) be 'sexy' - He always tells me how beautiful I am and is always positive ---- I think we are just harder on ourselves than we should be - In my mind I just won't feel sexy or happy until I lose the weight and I feel better about that reflection looking me back in the mirror -- but I am on my way!!!

Honey, you are so blessed to have a man who loves and accepts you no matter what. Do you know how many women are mistreated or abused about their weight, how many women are cheated on, abandoned because of weight issues? Even if you don't see it YET, be grateful that you have someone who truly loves YOU.

Don't be insecure, learn to love what makes you unique. There is no one else like you in the world.

Everybody is different. Don't get in the habit of comparing yourself to other people. Be YOUR BEST! :flowerforyou:

You are worth it. And, naturally with weight loss, our whole montage changes. You will naturally become more confident and comfortable as the pounds come off. Your self esteem will get a major boost. It's a choice!

I'm sure your husband will notice the change in you. Stay strong! :happy:

Psalms 139:14
I praise you because I am FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Remember that ^^^^^

I am the same way and thought that feeling would go away once I started to lose weight but it didn't. I still struggle seeing the new thinner me. It has gotten better though, I don't harp on it as much and am able to get through the night with out comparing myself to others but there are days when I just feel like the biggest girl in the room. Its not just about losing the weight it's also about working on our self image. We will get there just keep plugging away.

I hear ya, loud and clear.

My husband is my biggest fan, supporter and best friend. I see how he looks at me and know that his heart matches his words. It makes me happy that I am loved that way. Because I believe in him as much as he believes in me, I don't concern myself about comparison. There will always be someone out there that will make me second guess myself if I let it get to me. We are lucky to have such a great person in our lives and have to look at ourselves as positively as they do. : )

There are over 7 billion human beings on this planet. Aside from genetic anomalies like twins and multiples, every single one of them looks different from every other one despite having the very same features - two eyes, a nose, a mouth, chin, cheeks, ears, hair, arms, legs... Pretty amazing huh?!

So, ask yourself: which of those 7 billion are you supposed to try and look like?

Just do you. You're great.

Here are some things Ive learned from professional help that really stuck with me and made an impact. First off lets start by saying the below exercise will make you feel completely ridiculous so do it alone. Also I think this might have helped me even more because I also have this thing about physical contact.

Write down a couple honest sentences about yourself. Example: I am worthy of other peoples love. My weight is not who I am. I am scared that other people will judge me. I do not need the approval of others. I own myself and I am me.

Take you right hand and start tapping your left, just do that for a bit getting used to it. While you continue to do this repeat to yourself about 3 times out loud "I fully and completely accept myself."

Move the tapping a higher on your arm. Then start telling yourself the truth. Those sentences you wrote down, say one sentence at a time and repeat "I fully and completely accept myself" after saying each one. Say them out loud while your tapping and change arms, tap your other arm.

When you are done with your sentences, cross your arms and tap yourself almost like your hugging yourself and just keep repeating "I fully and completely accept myself." Think about the words.

Sometimes I need to remind myself of this when I find that Im slipping back into unhealthy thoughts. I take a minute and mentally repeat that sentence. I find it very calming, humbling, relaxing, and sometimes empowering. When I first did this it was in front of someone and they were the ones telling me the truths to say to myself. You might want to do this with your husband so he can show you what he sees. I cried pretty hard during it but when I found myself with my arms crossing almost like I was protecting myself I felt and overwheming feeling of comfort. I was comforting myself, I was realizing things about myself, I was owning my emotions and letting myself feel them - express them - and go through them. I was learning to love myself through everything, the good the bad, the ugly. I needed to realize that I had to love myself even when I made mistakes, even my dark thoughts, even my problems. It has helped me leaps and bounds, maybe it will help someone else.

I used to be like you, I would constantly look at other women and analyse (criticize) them in my head jealously. Then I stopped saying these things like "She's so pretty" about other people and started saying them about myself.
It doesn't matter what you say it about, but you have to tell yourself, and tell others good things about yourself. "My hair looks great today! I really like the way my eyes look with this eye shadow colour..." etc.
I would wear sweats or pyjamas, and get upset with how I looked. So I would put on some clothes, and make myself feel like I looked nice.
Now I can go out and feel confident. Even if others don't think I look good, >I< think I look good, and I feel good and I don't even look at other women any more.
Feeling like you feel good shows more in you than physical looks. This is how you can see some quite large women who look amazing, because they aren't ashamed of who they are and love how they look, and they embrace it.

We are who we are, sometimes it's just not possible to be a size 6. The women we look at and envy are often made completely different to us, and if we had our bodies with their composition, often we'd look completely wrong. This is why we should accept who we are, and try to embrace it, love who we are, and try to be the best "us" that we can.

The good thing is that weight is something we can change about ourselves. It doesn't happen overnight, but the benefits come pouring in much sooner than we see physical changes.

Don't give up on changing yourself. Change because you want to, and don't be so hard on yourself. You can't judge yourself by other women, because you are not them. You are you

I used to be like you, I would constantly look at other women and analyse (criticize) them in my head jealously. Then I stopped saying these things like "She's so pretty" about other people and started saying them about myself.
It doesn't matter what you say it about, but you have to tell yourself, and tell others good things about yourself. "My hair looks great today! I really like the way my eyes look with this eye shadow colour..." etc.
I would wear sweats or pyjamas, and get upset with how I looked. So I would put on some clothes, and make myself feel like I looked nice.
Now I can go out and feel confident. Even if others don't think I look good, >I< think I look good, and I feel good and I don't even look at other women any more.
Feeling like you feel good shows more in you than physical looks. This is how you can see some quite large women who look amazing, because they aren't ashamed of who they are and love how they look, and they embrace it.

We are who we are, sometimes it's just not possible to be a size 6. The women we look at and envy are often made completely different to us, and if we had our bodies with their composition, often we'd look completely wrong. This is why we should accept who we are, and try to embrace it, love who we are, and try to be the best "us" that we can.

The good thing is that weight is something we can change about ourselves. It doesn't happen overnight, but the benefits come pouring in much sooner than we see physical changes.

Don't give up on changing yourself. Change because you want to, and don't be so hard on yourself. You can't judge yourself by other women, because you are not them. You are you

I love all this advice! I try and be positive, I've found making an effort (with my clothes/hair/make up) makes me feel much better, sitting about in my lounging pants makes me feel slobby!

Still totally confused by the fact my boyfriend calls me sexy though.......

I complement my girlfriend nearly every single day and it just gets thrown back in my face.

It's fine though, I know I mean what I say and that's all that matters to me!