fat-shaming is ok...when you're talking about yourself.

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seena511
seena511 Posts: 685 Member
in Motivation and Support
so despite that subject line, which is largely just to grab your attention and get you in here (evil wink), i feel like i notice a lot of people on here are very tuned in to the problem of fat-shaming - using someone's weight against them by implying or saying outright that being fat is more than just a physical problem; it actually is a character flaw. i see it on tumblr a lot too - people saying that we should never judge someone based on their size because we don't know what life circumstances have led them to this point. maybe it was actually laziness and a complete lack of regard for their health. maybe it's a condition or syndrome that makes it nearly impossible to lose weight even with a great diet and exercise routine. however when it comes to ourselves, we are a lot less accepting of our own body flaws and much more judgemental on ourselves when we cheat and have a reese's cup when we know we shouldn't. it's kind of remarkable that some people can show such immense compassion for others that they feel themselves don't deserve.

thoughts?

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  • IvanDimitrov
    IvanDimitrov Posts: 24
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    I find it perfectly normal for a person to be most judgmental about himself. We all want to be the best of what we could be.Plus we know our flaws the best, so we see where an improvement is needed.
  • NewwCat2012
    NewwCat2012 Posts: 2
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    Thanks for your compassion shown by delving into this abyss of an issue. Yes, Ivan's right that "fat-shaming" is perfectly normal, in that we do it but, it is not condusive to any upwards movement in your life. No matter what the reason the weight has piled on, there is a component of negativity that either got it there or helps it stay on. Whether it was name calling/bullying from an outside or inside(yourself) source; a form of abuse that made you gain the weight to hide from the world(people don't like looking at fatties); Or even a medical condition that is hard or impossible to avoid. If you want to change that, even a little it is going to take the opposite effect to make it so. How in the world would the same dismal thoughts allow anyone to uplift and create a change?
  • blc1971
    blc1971 Posts: 170 Member
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    I just posted something about this the other day and I almost never post stuff!! I try to be a really good person and treat other people with compassion and respect. I think I do a pretty good job of that!! LOL! The problem is, I will say things to myself that are degrading and negative that I would never say to another person. Why do we do that to ourselves? It's like saying that everyone deserves more or better than I do. We need to learn to treat ourselves with the same love, respect, and compassion we would show to anyone else.

    That being said, I do think we need to be realistic with ourselves and judge our actions and the results so that the unhealthy habits don't take control. For example, going to a store and trying on clothes the same size I've been wearing and even though I know I've gained weight and need to move up a size telling myself that the clothes are cut different and it must be the outfit...definitely not the huge portions of food I've been stuffing in my face!! Or avoiding the scale because I can make excuses for the fact that my clothes are too tight if I don't actually see that number increasing. Lying to ourselves is different than verbally abusing ourselves. There has to be a happy middle-ground.

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