Fell of the wagon and bruised my...pride.

magiccatwearsatux
magiccatwearsatux Posts: 19
in Motivation and Support
I was doing super well. I was down to 213 from 230 and then I started school and my kid got sick and all of a sudden, I started making mistakes. Little mistakes at first, but some how, for me, its so easy to say "Well, I screwed up, so today is ruined, might as well eat pizza"... I know the logic there does not resemble earth logic, but I fall into that trap. Anyway, in the past two weeks, I have managed to gain back 6 pounds. At my nutritionist appointment this morning, I was up to 219.5. Here's the thing though. I ALMOST cancelled the appointment. I ALMOST said, screw it, I'm done. That is how every attempt in the past has happened. I will do great for a little while, and then I mess up and then I give up. I fell like I've done that like a hundred times.

I went to the appointment. I confessed everything. And it wasnt so bad. Even though I gained back some weight, I still weighed 5 pounds less than I did at my appointment a month ago. So, call it a win, right? I'm not done this time. I am feeling some guilt about what I did for the last two weeks, but, I'm going to let it go and move on. Time to do this.

Replies

  • prokomds
    prokomds Posts: 318 Member
    Congrats on making it to the appointment anyway, and congrats on your overall progress -- even if it feels like two steps forward and one step back, you're still progressing overall :)

    I think what obviously sticks out as the most harmful habit is the attitude that says "well, I already messed up, I may as well just continue messing up"

    Say you're eating to lose 1 pound a week, which is a 500 calorie deficit per day. Say you eat 500 calories in cookies, total disaster, and go over your daily goal by that 500. You do realize at this point you're just maintaining your weight, right? You're set to a 500-calorie deficit, you overeat by 500, that means you're just not going to lose any weight that day. You're also not going to gain any either.

    Now, if you say, well, I had all those cookies, the day is blown, may as well finish off that pizza... you keep going and suddenly you've gone way past your limit, above your TDEE. There's an ENORMOUS difference between slightly overeating and maybe having 2000ish calories, and just continuing until you're at 3000+, etc.

    I think you need to look at why you decide to turn your little mistakes into big ones, you know?

    I glanced at your diary.... get back to logging! Good luck :)
  • magiccatwearsatux
    magiccatwearsatux Posts: 19
    You are exactly right. Its so stupid, but I just found a picture on Google that says, "Oh, I've already ruined my good eating today. I'll just eat crap" is like saying, "Oh, I dropped my phone on the floor, I'll just smash it till it breaks."
    I printed it out to put on my nutrition binder.

    And thanks for the push to get back to logging, I eat worse when I don't. I'll go log right now.
  • prokomds
    prokomds Posts: 318 Member
    Yeah, that strategy makes no sense anywhere else in your life, why let it happen here? Oh, I lost my wallet, I may as well empty my savings account. Hahah. You obviously get it when you're clearheaded, it's just a matter of enforcing it when you're having a weak moment. Easier said than done, of course. I do find it easier when I'm being accurate with my tracking - then I can say, solidly, NO, rather than "oh, I'm sure I have some calories left... " I like having the numbers to back me up, personally.
  • sweetsarahv
    sweetsarahv Posts: 180 Member
    there ya go! SEE?!?!!? This time is ALREADY different! You got this!
  • Rhonnie
    Rhonnie Posts: 506 Member
    You learned something about yourself and you incorporated change to reflect what you learned - that has a lasting effect and could be the true key to losing weight - so well done! You have to gain knowledge to lose weight!
  • Cherbear67
    Cherbear67 Posts: 245 Member
    wtg on keeping that appt.. I have bruised my pride many times and just keep getting back up.. You can and will do this.. Keep it up.. Congrats on the weight you have already lost..
  • jstout365
    jstout365 Posts: 1,686 Member
    You're doing great because you realize that there is still a way forward. This isn't an "all or nothing" kind of thing. I have back slid this week, mostly on purpose to support a friend who was closing her cafe, but today was bad....like cookies, donuts and beer bad. It started like what you went through with "well, I already had that cookie the minute I walked into the building so why not a donut at the meeting? And then another donut on the way out." But I know that today and even this past week won't mean anything when I hit my goal weight. It will be nothing more than a speed bump. You are doing the right thing and changing how you see this whole process. You ARE still achieving success!! You have lost 5 lbs!! Time to put this bump behind you and keep going for the next 5 lbs. And then all you have to do is keep repeating until you hit goal!
  • EvaD12
    EvaD12 Posts: 49
    Thank you! I'm struggling with the same thing the past few days have been awful eating and no exercise and this morning all I want to do is give up until I read your post and it made me feel less useless and more "I can do this!".

    5 pounds is awesome well done :)
  • kathiehughes
    kathiehughes Posts: 192 Member
    I really needed to read this post, so thanks for showing us how to get back to real..... Great job!!!
  • MissJanet55
    MissJanet55 Posts: 457 Member
    Ah, the slippery slope. I am very familiar with it.

    This will sound odd, but one thing that helps me is logging those episodes that "ruin" my whole day. I am almost always surprised - what looked like ruination is usuallly not so bad as I thought. What might have been a few hundred calories over can balloon into a few thousand if I don't log it and just think "to hell with it."

    If it's your nature to catastrophize things, that slice of pizza can turn into something much, much worse.

    And you know you can lose the weight, which is great! You've learned what it takes to do it, and you can apply it. THAT is a valuable lesson.
  • Mpol2
    Mpol2 Posts: 442 Member
    We are the kings and queens of "one step forward, two steps back". But you keep stepping forward. Good for you.
  • jennsavage88
    jennsavage88 Posts: 24
    I'm really proud of you for jumping back on the wagon! I've been slipping A LOT myself, gotta get my head back in the game!
  • DaniH826
    DaniH826 Posts: 1,335 Member
    I'm going to let it go and move on. Time to do this.

    Preach it.

    Usually the earth-shattering disasters in my own head are really just mere trickles in the scope of things.

    This. Is. Dramaaaaaaaaaaaa.

    :wink:

    Then I stop and actually think for a minute, realize I was being overly emotional, and get on with life. Eat with your brain, not your feelings. Works much better that way. :smile:

    First world problems. Ain't nothing but a thing. :smile:
  • Tammy22274
    Tammy22274 Posts: 23 Member
    We all have those moments but you take the good with the bad and move forward. You are strong and proved it by keeping your appointment with the nutirtionist!!! This is a lifetime journey and this will not be the first or the last time you slip up, but you just have to say, "well today was not a good day but tomorrow will be better". I have to tell myself that all the time and believe me it really works.

    Never stop logging even when you have bad days because you can see what you do, what you eat, and what you could have done, and this will help you move forward and noy make the mistake again. You always have to be honest with your logging so you can grow from any mishaps you may have. If you had a cookie or a donut, log it. This is a way for you to see what you should have done and then what you could have done or had it place of that cookie or donut.

    This is a long and sometimes extremely hard lifetime journey, but everyday you will get stronger and before you know it, this will all come naturally and easy!!! Push through the bad days and make more good ones.!!!

    I have 2 quotes on my cell phone screen - one for the lock screen and one for the regular screen.

    First quote says, "The Journey Of A Thousand Miles Begins With One Step" :flowerforyou:
    Second quote says, " Dream It, Believe It, Achieve It" :bigsmile:

    Hope these quotes can help you like they have helped me !!! Good luck and Great Job so far on your weight loss!!!
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    That is exactly the conversations I have with myself at times. I make small choicice that turn into worse choices, which turns into even worse choices. I would guess many of us follow this some times.

    You make a bad choice for breakfast and figure you will make it up for lunch, but you are out and figure since you already had a bad breakfast you might as well just eat whatever for lunch and make it up at dinner and do more exercise. Before you know it, it is evening you didn't get in any exercise ( or maybe you even did) , but since you already blew it on calories earlier you might as well just call it a cheat day and go for a good dinner...and maybe snacks too. Then....the next day you are frustrated and down on motivation so you figure since you already blew a whole day you might as well just eat today too. That is really bad if it is the weekend because if you blow it Friday night, then give in Saturday too, it is soooo easy to just throw Sunday uner the bus and tell yourself you will DEFINITLY get back on it Monday. It just keeps snowballing from there!

    Like life in general, eating is a choice you make every minute - I think we need to realize that. And even when we fall off the wagon, we have the opportunity to turn it back around by making a better choice the next minute. We don't need to let it snowball. We just need to look at our internal conversation and feelings that create those times that we choose what we want NOW over what we really want in the long run.

    I say all this, and really I am talking to myself! :)

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