The Moose Cleanse

maricash
maricash Posts: 280 Member
in Chit-Chat
How did I lose so much weight? I'll tell you how. The Moose Cleanse. Check it out:

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/02/the-moose-cleanse/272788/

Replies

  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
    moose_zps3ceebe00.gif
  • n0ob
    n0ob Posts: 2,390 Member
    moose_zps3ceebe00.gif

    hadn't read the link, but I bet he eated him...
  • lovelyMYlovely
    lovelyMYlovely Posts: 1,066 Member
    tumblr_m04d23s5511qbm82f.gif
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
    no
  • millions0fpeaches
    millions0fpeaches Posts: 195 Member
    If I drink too much Moose Drool, it cleanses my colon.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    Errr....no
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
    moose are dangerous. just LOOK at this moose fight!!

    moosefight_zpsc0c5b1ec.jpg
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    Is it the majestic møøse?
  • JUDDDing
    JUDDDing Posts: 1,367 Member
    A Møøse once bit my sister...
  • SmartWhatever
    SmartWhatever Posts: 718 Member
    8.png
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink".
  • maricash
    maricash Posts: 280 Member
    Errr....no

    You're missing out. This cleanse can benefit you is so many ways. It will balance your system! It will remove toxins! Look:

    In a society of excess full of toxins, pollutions, electricity, looking, and toxins, a moose cleanse can help you rediscover your needs, balance your body (no more falling!), maybe lose a few pounds, and generally feel better. It's also very good for eliminating toxins from your system.

    What is a toxin? It may surprise you to learn how many toxins we come in contact with during the course of an ordinary day: Sitting, computers, materialism, smelling, desserts (Japanese), metal, not saying yes to yourself, hesitation, textiles, cooking, recession, texting, chewing, desserts (Western), low self-esteem, tight hamstrings, suffering, parents, yoga (non-Bikram), yoga (all other kinds), shoes, vaccines, doctors, books, driving, cooking, shameful sex dreams, exciting sex dreams, and folding.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    I'll just use a wash rag....kthnx
  • SmartWhatever
    SmartWhatever Posts: 718 Member
    Errr....no

    You're missing out. This cleanse can benefit you is so many ways. It will balance your system! It will remove toxins! Look:

    In a society of excess full of toxins, pollutions, electricity, looking, and toxins, a moose cleanse can help you rediscover your needs, balance your body (no more falling!), maybe lose a few pounds, and generally feel better. It's also very good for eliminating toxins from your system.

    What is a toxin? It may surprise you to learn how many toxins we come in contact with during the course of an ordinary day: Sitting, computers, materialism, smelling, desserts (Japanese), metal, not saying yes to yourself, hesitation, textiles, cooking, recession, texting, chewing, desserts (Western), low self-esteem, tight hamstrings, suffering, parents, yoga (non-Bikram), yoga (all other kinds), shoes, vaccines, doctors, books, driving, cooking, shameful sex dreams, exciting sex dreams, and folding.

    I refuse to stop having exciting sex dreams!!
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    Buff moose

    moose.gif
  • Linli_Anne
    Linli_Anne Posts: 1,360 Member
    Can I simply drink some moosehead cracked canoe and call it a day?
  • JUDDDing
    JUDDDing Posts: 1,367 Member
    Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti...
  • maricash
    maricash Posts: 280 Member
    Can I simply drink some moosehead cracked canoe and call it a day?

    Only if you drink it underwater, as the moose do:


    Did you know that moose are the only member of the deer family that can eat while underwater? Take note: from now on, so do you.

    I know what you're thinking: "I could never do that! How would I breathe?" Look, I get that right now, at the stage you're at, it seems impossible. You're used to sitting down and consuming every meal at the table or over the sink or in your car while breathing oxygenated air -- typical modern American diet. But I promise you, if you truly commit to the moose cleanse and listen to what your body is telling you, your system will find a way to get the air it needs. Trust is a huge component of the moose cleanse. It's not just physical. It's going to transform every aspect of your life, even the way your heart and lungs metabolize diffused gases.
  • SmartWhatever
    SmartWhatever Posts: 718 Member
    Buff moose

    moose.gif

    Is that a moose tail in your pants or are you just happy to see me??
  • dirtnap63
    dirtnap63 Posts: 1,387 Member
    Well the next time I wake up with 9 foot antlers and cloven hooves I'll give this a try. Until then I'll stick to the human diet.
  • AbbieZabba
    AbbieZabba Posts: 110
    I'll just use a wash rag....kthnx

    ^^^ Win!

    :laugh: :laugh: :flowerforyou:
  • barkin43
    barkin43 Posts: 508 Member
    moose are dangerous. just LOOK at this moose fight!!

    moosefight_zpsc0c5b1ec.jpg

    How fast was he going when he ran through that wall?
  • Rurouni_Kou
    Rurouni_Kou Posts: 180 Member
    Well the next time I wake up with 9 foot antlers and cloven hooves I'll give this a try. Until then I'll stick to the human diet.

    Does this happen often? You may want to see a doctor about those antlers if it does.. the cloven hooves are normal though.
  • dirtnap63
    dirtnap63 Posts: 1,387 Member
    I did see a doctor about it. He said not to worry, I was just horny.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    Errr....no

    You're missing out. This cleanse can benefit you is so many ways. It will balance your system! It will remove toxins! Look:

    In a society of excess full of toxins, pollutions, electricity, looking, and toxins, a moose cleanse can help you rediscover your needs, balance your body (no more falling!), maybe lose a few pounds, and generally feel better. It's also very good for eliminating toxins from your system.

    What is a toxin? It may surprise you to learn how many toxins we come in contact with during the course of an ordinary day: Sitting, computers, materialism, smelling, desserts (Japanese), metal, not saying yes to yourself, hesitation, textiles, cooking, recession, texting, chewing, desserts (Western), low self-esteem, tight hamstrings, suffering, parents, yoga (non-Bikram), yoga (all other kinds), shoes, vaccines, doctors, books, driving, cooking, shameful sex dreams, exciting sex dreams, and folding.



    OMG - what about texting someone about your exciting and slightly shameful sex dreams (maybe a little sexting thrown in) that were from reading an erotic book about a doctor feeding a woman in some sexy shoes a Japanese dessert while doing yoga?

    How toxic would that be?
  • 5stringjeff
    5stringjeff Posts: 790 Member
    Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti...

    We apologise again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked, have been sacked.
  • maricash
    maricash Posts: 280 Member
    Errr....no

    You're missing out. This cleanse can benefit you is so many ways. It will balance your system! It will remove toxins! Look:

    In a society of excess full of toxins, pollutions, electricity, looking, and toxins, a moose cleanse can help you rediscover your needs, balance your body (no more falling!), maybe lose a few pounds, and generally feel better. It's also very good for eliminating toxins from your system.

    What is a toxin? It may surprise you to learn how many toxins we come in contact with during the course of an ordinary day: Sitting, computers, materialism, smelling, desserts (Japanese), metal, not saying yes to yourself, hesitation, textiles, cooking, recession, texting, chewing, desserts (Western), low self-esteem, tight hamstrings, suffering, parents, yoga (non-Bikram), yoga (all other kinds), shoes, vaccines, doctors, books, driving, cooking, shameful sex dreams, exciting sex dreams, and folding.



    OMG - what about texting someone about your exciting and slightly shameful sex dreams (maybe a little sexting thrown in) that were from reading an erotic book about a doctor feeding a woman in some sexy shoes a Japanese dessert while doing yoga?

    How toxic would that be?


    I believe that that would kill you instantly. But what a way to go!

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