Bitter sweet

SassyMissDasha
SassyMissDasha Posts: 614
edited September 20 in Chit-Chat
So today is the Miss USA pageant, and .. my sister is in it. She is for Miss Utah. My whole family is in Las Vegas cheering her on, except me. Here I am at 385 pounds with a beauty queen for a sister. Wo is me! I am proud of her though. So everyone should watch!

Replies

  • pixiestick
    pixiestick Posts: 839 Member
    It is good of you to be proud of someone--even when that someone is accomplishing greatness in an area of life that you struggle in. Just remember that TJ, Tommy, and Gracie are your biggest fans and are counting on your determination to lose the weight and your wisdom to not become bitter at their aunt's success!

    Keep up the work, Miss Dasha. You are going to be strutting your stuff before long. :D And the journey you are on now will have your entire family cheering before long.
  • Thank you :) I appreciate that a lot .. :flowerforyou:
  • sarahsmom1
    sarahsmom1 Posts: 1,501 Member
    Did you not go because of your weight I hope you didn't use that as a excuse not to go. My sister had told me something shes 6 years older than me and at that time she was also fat. We went to the pool her in a swimsuit and of course I was in shorts. She said that if she worried what people thought shed never do anything and besides she would probably never see those people again. So please never let your weight stop you from doing thing that are important to you. And your sister is just as proud of you as you are of her. And yes I weigh about the same as you. Please don't think you are less than others you are just as important as the next guy. We all are
  • Well .......

    Yes I didn't go because of my weight, and not because I didn't want to go. But because my sister told my mom she didn't want me there because she was embarrassed by me. :grumble: :indifferent: :embarassed:

    :brokenheart: But I am not going to let that effect me. I am doing what's right for me. And when the pageant is over, she'll be just a former beauty queen, but I will still be a mom, a wife and a friend .. so :tongue:
  • sandara
    sandara Posts: 830 Member
    Well .......

    Yes I didn't go because of my weight, and not because I didn't want to go. But because my sister told my mom she didn't want me there because she was embarrassed by me. :grumble: :indifferent: :embarassed:

    Sounds like your sister has a lot of short-comings to work on herself. Just be thankful that you can see your dreams come true if you believe in yourself. Your poor sister will probably never realize how selfish and ugly on the inside she is no matter what she looks like on the outside.

    Live your life for you! :flowerforyou:
  • leannadkins77
    leannadkins77 Posts: 14 Member
    that is just sad. you know what i have always been insecure about myself because of my weight but i have always told my husband i am very confident in the fact that i am a good person. at the end of the day i feel like that is what matters the most. your sister may even win the title but if at the end of the day she hurts people as close to her as her sister by being so shallow - what impact is she going to have on the world?
  • PJilly
    PJilly Posts: 22,114 Member
    What a kind, generous person you are for wishing your sister the best. I hope she appreciates the role model you are for her and that she can learn to be comfortable enough in her own skin not to judge herself or others so much by appearance. There's so much more to a person, and you are proof of that. :heart:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    it is sad.......the industry and competition is very sad too. I have seen in from the inside out when my son dated the sister of Miss Kentucky. Perfection everywhere..........girls throwing up their food. Afraid to speak with anyone for fear a word will come out wrong and be sent to the censors or worse in the news or internet.

    Girls who did not want to do it, their mom's wanted it for them.

    Judged, always judged..................so how can they learn anything else but to judge others.

    Problem is ex beauty queens have babies, get fat, grow old, get wrinkles...........and who is there for them then??

    That beautiful hearted sister STILL cheering on her sibling even with all the pain she caused her.

    Hugs to you dear one...........you are beautiful:heart:
  • BbNuke
    BbNuke Posts: 82 Member
    Wow, what a tough weekend this must be for you. But you did the right thing by reaching out here for support., and I know you will get plenty. Just keep in mind that you are a work in progress and already beautiful where it counts. Your sister may be having her day in the spotlight now, but you are gonna shine forever.
  • havingitall
    havingitall Posts: 3,728 Member
    Wow...the beauty queen doesn't sound so beautiful after all. I love and am proud of my whole famly no matter what they look like and they have always loved me no matter what my size.

    Dasha..you have the true beauty...your sister just has the shell.
  • sarahsmom1
    sarahsmom1 Posts: 1,501 Member
    Well .......

    Yes I didn't go because of my weight, and not because I didn't want to go. But because my sister told my mom she didn't want me there because she was embarrassed by me. :grumble: :indifferent: :embarassed:

    :brokenheart: But I am not going to let that effect me. I am doing what's right for me. And when the pageant is over, she'll be just a former beauty queen, but I will still be a mom, a wife and a friend .. so :tongue:

    That kinda tics me off ( no it makes me mad) If your sister was my daughter I wouldn't have gone to support her. As others have said she does not have true beauty, hers is outward. That is superficial beauty can be gone in a second. I'll wish her luck if that's what you want but on the inside ( I hope she Loses). And she is the embarrassment not you and yes you'll be a better mother than she'll ever be because you can teach your children that being fat is not a crime just an inconvience a and beauty for you sister is only in looks not in her heart Hope I didn't offend you or hurt you feelings with my post
  • Nobody offended me .. it takes a lot

    Thanks for all the replies!
  • camiller02
    camiller02 Posts: 24
    WOW. I had to read your response about her not wanting you there twice. To be honest tears came to my eyes. I do not have siblings, but I know hurt. The best thing is to love her the same and never say a bad thing about her in the presence of your kids. Love knows no bounderies . As a member posted that beauty queens have kids and, get fat ,and grow old ,and have wrinkles. The true test is who sticks around when this happens. I bet your kids will. Keep your head up.
  • sandara
    sandara Posts: 830 Member
    Saw your sister on the Miss USA. She is very beautiful. Hope one day she realizes how wonderful sisters are. I wouldn't give anything for mine.
  • In case you were wondering ... she didn't make it. Got cut when the first 15 were picked. I was crying ... because I felt bad mostly for my mom. She went through a lot of hell for it also.
  • anotheryearolder
    anotheryearolder Posts: 385 Member
    Yeah, I read this thread earlier and I was kinda wondering. You and your sister look a lot alike, especially the eyes, except apparently you are a whole lot nicer on the inside. Hopefully she will grow into a better sister with time.
  • sweet4keeps22
    sweet4keeps22 Posts: 291 Member
    Congratulations on inheriting the true beauty in the family. Good luck in accomplishing all the goals you have set out for yourself. And, I am truly sorry to your mother (and your sister, I suppose), as I am sure it was a truly heartbreaking disappointment for her.
  • MyDream
    MyDream Posts: 72
    Dasha you made me cry. You are the true essence of what a sister is and should be. Knowing your sister didn't want you there (b/c of her own insecurities), yet still supporting her and hoping she would win is purely unconditional love in it's finest form. You are the role model and your sister has a lot to learn from you.

    Hold your head high and don't EVER give up on yourself.

    :heart: :flowerforyou: :heart:
  • I found this quote today ..and I feel this is so true and I wanted to share .. this fits me today.

    "The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
    the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
    The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is
    the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.
    True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
    It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows.
    And the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years."

    Thanks for your kind and supportive words!
  • Vallandingham
    Vallandingham Posts: 2,177
    Well .......

    Yes I didn't go because of my weight, and not because I didn't want to go. But because my sister told my mom she didn't want me there because she was embarrassed by me. :grumble: :indifferent: :embarassed:

    Sounds like your sister has a lot of short-comings to work on herself. Just be thankful that you can see your dreams come true if you believe in yourself. Your poor sister will probably never realize how selfish and ugly on the inside she is no matter what she looks like on the outside.

    Live your life for you! :flowerforyou:

    To quote Don Henley, "there are three sides to every story; yours, mine and the cold hard truth." You shouldn't throw Miss Utah under the bus, based on the anonymous comments of someone who is clearly feeling down about themselves. At best, it was a comment that was not even heard directly by SassyMissDasha.
  • Oh trust me .. I have no doubt in my mind she said it. My mom told me that she said this. I asked my mom why I couldn't go, and that is what she told me. She has been this way to me for as long as I can remember, ever since I got married and had kids. A few months ago ..I was visiting their house, and she said to me "I don't understand what you are doing here?" .. so I have heard it all from her.
  • Vallandingham
    Vallandingham Posts: 2,177
    Oh trust me .. I have no doubt in my mind she said it. My mom told me that she said this. I asked my mom why I couldn't go, and that is what she told me. She has been this way to me for as long as I can remember, ever since I got married and had kids. A few months ago ..I was visiting their house, and she said to me "I don't understand what you are doing here?" .. so I have heard it all from her.

    Sound like you have a legitimate beef. I was directing the comments to the persons that are throwing your sister under the bus based on third, fourth and fifth hand info.

    Even you have said you didn't hear this directly.
  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
    I would question why your Mum felt the need to pass on this hurtful comment?I can see no benefit (and I speak as a Mum) in passing on hurtful and unpleasant comments made by siblings. If one of my daughters said something along those lines, I personally would be ashamed of them and not want to support them,

    It is very strange to me how big a deal beauty pageants are in the US, they are looked on as very poor form in the UK, we don't have them on TV here. To some degree it seems to me more like a freak show. (I used to model when I was younger, but I would have never considered entering a beauty contest, it smacks too much of the meat market to me)
  • I asked her do you think it helps me telling me these things .. and she just said she would rather tell me the truth, when I asked her why I couldn't go she thought I as an adult would handle the answer she had for me.
  • sandara
    sandara Posts: 830 Member
    Well .......

    Yes I didn't go because of my weight, and not because I didn't want to go. But because my sister told my mom she didn't want me there because she was embarrassed by me. :grumble: :indifferent: :embarassed:

    Sounds like your sister has a lot of short-comings to work on herself. Just be thankful that you can see your dreams come true if you believe in yourself. Your poor sister will probably never realize how selfish and ugly on the inside she is no matter what she looks like on the outside.

    Live your life for you! :flowerforyou:

    To quote Don Henley, "there are three sides to every story; yours, mine and the cold hard truth." You shouldn't throw Miss Utah under the bus, based on the anonymous comments of someone who is clearly feeling down about themselves. At best, it was a comment that was not even heard directly by SassyMissDasha.

    Sorry you disagree! My thought was to offer a little comfort to somebody that was down, not offend the thread police. I'm not perfect and I don't expect everyone to agree with everything I say so please feel free to just skip right over my posts if they don't meet your criteria. :smile:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    This is probably silly.........but I was brought back to a season of American Idol. There was a young man whose mother was not the most attractive. She had a disease which gave her that hunch back appearence, not very pretty by our standards.

    But when that woman watched her son sing, and the adoration of the crowds watching and routing for him..........she was the most beautiful woman in the audience.

    Not only that, but her son became more beautiful each time he sang to his mom and spoke of his love for her. She was right up front in the parade when he went home...............there to enjoy his success.

    I voted for that boy....a hundred times each week........I think that was the 1st time I ever did.

    I voted and voted for the beautiful young man that loved his mother with all his heart and showed her off like a diamond ring.

    He showed his true beauty in his eyes..........people, including judges can feel that.

    He has a great carreer now and she has since passed away. What lovely memories he has of her.
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    Well .......

    Yes I didn't go because of my weight, and not because I didn't want to go. But because my sister told my mom she didn't want me there because she was embarrassed by me. :grumble: :indifferent: :embarassed:

    Sounds like your sister has a lot of short-comings to work on herself. Just be thankful that you can see your dreams come true if you believe in yourself. Your poor sister will probably never realize how selfish and ugly on the inside she is no matter what she looks like on the outside.

    Live your life for you! :flowerforyou:

    To quote Don Henley, "there are three sides to every story; yours, mine and the cold hard truth." You shouldn't throw Miss Utah under the bus, based on the anonymous comments of someone who is clearly feeling down about themselves. At best, it was a comment that was not even heard directly by SassyMissDasha.

    Sorry you disagree! My thought was to offer a little comfort to somebody that was down, not offend the thread police. I'm not perfect and I don't expect everyone to agree with everything I say so please feel free to just skip right over my posts if they don't meet your criteria. :smile:

    Kum bay ya my lord................kum bay ya.............smiley-music008.gif
    bwahahahaha I am sorry............I have a weird sense of humor.

    have a great day folks!!!
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