Mountain out of a molehill?

Leeeeelith
Leeeeelith Posts: 11
in Chit-Chat
The boyfriend and I have been going through some turmoil, I'm needing to give him a lot of space as social contact is getting to him lately (he has mild autism) and our interactions have been deteriorating rapidly into snapping and bad moods so I'm learning to steer clear of him if he isn't in the mood. He declined to accompany me last night on my various missions and that was fair enough, not heaps exciting, and lots of well populated, noisy, overwhelming environments. He didn't suggest hanging out after though and it would appear he went to visit his friend Jade instead, and made scones, and watched Jaws. I shouldn't be annoyed at this but I am, a tad hurt perhaps? Left out? Just looking for excuses to end it?! Is this an unreasonable way to feel?

I initiated a bit of sms dialogue before bed in which he told me I had "no logical reason to be upset" and I said I felt like she was my polar opposite and he didn't actually enjoy my company anymore. His reply to that was along the lines of his being under the impression I was busy last night and all he was doing was catching up with a (really really New) friend for the first time in weeks to bake treats and meet her new dog. The more I think about it, the more I feel like I've only seen the worst side of him lately (as is prone to happen with the ones we most trust). The whole thing makes me feel really sad. I'm lonely, I can't hang out with my boyfriend because we'll just end up snapping at each other. What the **** is that?

One thing is for sure, I think I'm growing to resent this Jade character, she's like the antithesis of me (cakes on makeup, petite, introverted, people hating). It's like Larry is choosing to spend his limited social time with my polar opposite. And like I feel all the loneliness of being single but get none of the perks...

Replies

  • Leeeeelith
    Leeeeelith Posts: 11
    buried
  • jessiwithaneye
    jessiwithaneye Posts: 39 Member
    Hmmm. That's definitely a bummer. Do you guys usually spend a lot of time together? How long have you been together?
  • Danger2OneSelf
    Danger2OneSelf Posts: 883 Member
    Coming from a guy with a father and 2 sibilings on the spectrum, there could just be a really good chance that something is overwhelming him currently. Sometimes we just have to leave and let my dad be alone cuz he can get irritated when hes around people all the time. I also know that it can be very overwhelming to have to constantly be showing affection ( even for guys that aren't on the spectrum)

    Has he given you any reason for his recent attitude change? And you guys live together by any chance?
  • Leeeeelith
    Leeeeelith Posts: 11
    Been together four years. We used to spend a lot more time together, about 6 months ago he asked for more time to himself as he was feeling a strong desire to be a hermit.

    Not living together, he did have a sort of mental melt down recently that had him house bound for 2 weeks. From what I understand, he finds human interaction desirable, but also stressful. He reckons he has these melt downs once every 2 - 3 years.

    I voiced my feelings the following day and he was surprisingly good natured about it. We hung out for a couple of hours and there was no snapping.

    Still feeling a somewhat starved of physical affection though.

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