Relationship's being the reason behind weight gain

Lanara23
Lanara23 Posts: 9
in Motivation and Support
Hi!

I'm 23 years old and last year I met the man of my dreams. To begin with the love sickness and walking miles to see him and not being able to eat due to feeling so nervous and shy meant that in the early stages I was losing weight and in great shape.

As time has gone on, and we moved in together.. walks on the beach, bike rides and travelling to see one another was replaced with takeaways, snuggling on the sofa, weekends watching dvds and tv together instead.

We've become very complacent! And that has meant that the pounds have crept up on us slowly.

As I'm not massively over weight, I have joined my fitness pal to monitor my weight loss as I'd like to lose a few pounds. I've also taken up Zumba and Swimming as I used to do these activities before.

I'd really like to get to know some other guys/ girls that also feel the need to lose weight because they've become complacent in a relationship so I'm not the only one :)

I look forward to chatting to you :)

Replies

  • RobynLB
    RobynLB Posts: 617 Member
    This is a pretty common phenomena. I gained about 10 lbs dating my previous boyfriend. He was overweight and didn't like to do anything active. So a lot of my workout time became lay around time. My current boyfriend is super fit, we box and run and hike together. I appreciate that he stays in shape, and he appreciates that I stay in shape. We still spend plenty of time laying around, but I won't let myself get fat and complacent with him. I need to keep up.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,990 Member
    This isn't uncommon. Usually when one finds a "mate", there's no challenge to try to attract another suitor. It works in reverse for couples that split too. Now that's not saying it ALWAYS happens, but instinctive competition is part of what we do in life. When one doesn't have to compete anymore, they don't put as much effort into keeping as fit. Same thing happens in sports.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • chiselfuture
    chiselfuture Posts: 42 Member
    I hear that's not uncommon. My girlfriend and I have had an opposite experience, and I think explaining why might help you.

    Part of my inspiration for losing weight initially was being single and feeling like my fitness were holding me back (both by how I looked and how it made me feel about myself, so my self-confidence by extension). Some time after I started getting in good shape, I met my current girlfriend.

    Although the early part of dating took an initial toll (lots of dinners out with desserts, etc.), being healthier had become so internal to me that I went back to the drawing board and redoubled my efforts, because I had come to feel so strongly about the importance of my feeling healthier. At the same time, my girlfriend had wanted to get on track herself, and so my exercising and eating more properly inspired her to continue that again for herself, as well.

    So now, exercising and eating properly is a component of our relationship together as well. We support each other, and we make an effort to keep each other and ourselves motivated and in check (making good dietary decisions, exercising together, reminding each other why we don't want to eat that pizza or chocolate, etc.).

    So, try making fitness an active part of your relationship and internalizing, each of you, the desire to be healthy. Be fit for yourselves, not to get a partner.
  • JFP77
    JFP77 Posts: 50
    yes this has happened to hubby and i i love cooking and trying new recipes and hubby loves my cooking so yes we have both grown bigger in the 6 years we have been together also i have had two kids in that time and been on steroids which has just notched up the pounds now i have like 50 to loose :( i do think when you are happy you do stop making as much effort its only when you realise how big you are you have a reality check
  • mcsweetly
    mcsweetly Posts: 133 Member
    I totally understand. My hubby and I had a lot of wining and dining out and honestly he was more let's watch a movie kind of guy. He was super snuggly and I just melted right into that life with him. 14 major surgeries, 16 years together and a baby I have gained way more than I ever thought I would. Well, I have tried and failed many times to not gain and to lose, but I am so dedicated to it this time around I am already succeeding and he's doing it with me which makes it all the better.

    Anyone feel free to add me as a friend. I'd love the mutual support!
  • usedmemories07
    usedmemories07 Posts: 7 Member
    <--- Same story right here. I gained about 15-20 pounds when I meet my boyfriend. I have a very slow metabolism, and so I would eat small portions with lots of fruits and veggies. But when we started dating, he would fuss that I wasn't eating enough because I was always eating less than him. So even when we would cook at home, my portion size was WAY bigger than my body needed. Pounds piled on, and without even noticing, my jean size went up to a 16! I've never been a small girl, but that was my wake up call. We are now trying to lose weight together. I have now learned to stand my ground with him, regarding food, and he has finally agreed that I do not need to eat like a man! We tried to go to the gym in the evenings, but I found it hard to resist cuddling on the couch with a movie. So, even though neither of us are morning people, we have been waking up at 5am to fit in our gym time without cutting into our cuddle time. So far, so good! I don't think I would be able to do with without him, but then again, I wouldn't need to if I hadn't found me. So its an even trade. :P
  • barebon
    barebon Posts: 80 Member
    Haha yeah. I definitely gained weight moving in with my man. He has gained way more than I have. We have been together for four years and lived together for 2. I think we are finally to that point in our relationship where I am actually wanting to spend time apart haha I still love him to death and can't wait to come home to him after work, but I enjoy having time apart. So working out has been my hobby to get out of the house and have my me time. Not only that but it has really kicked up our sex life again. :) he has also made an agreement with me to eat healthier and do more active things together. We will go to the gym occasionally together, but typically our schedules don't line up enough to do so.

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