Advice for my husband

RobinsonMomof4 · February 2013

So my husband and I started on a weight loss/get fit trek together at the beginning of this month. We have joined P.F. and changed our eating habits. After working out every other day for a week and changing his eating habits (no more soda, only water or vita-waters, no more junk like double cheesburgers, etc for lunch). ANYWAY, he GAINED 2 pounds. He's very upset (even though he would never tell me that) and I don't know what to make of it. The only conclusion that I can come to is the WAY he changed his eating habits...

For example, he typically does not eat breakfast (big no no) and when he does eat lunch, he was only get some chicken wings (dry w/o sauce) and some sort of fruit or something from Sheetz. Or a small meal of that sort. Then of course he comes home from work and eats dinner that I make (lean protein, veggies, fruit) and that's it. I think MAYBE he's not getting ENOUGH calories and that his body is storing what he does get into fat. I really have no idea. I'm grasping at straws here. Does this sound feasible to you?

He is about 6'2 and just weighed in at 236 at the gym last week. (He has not weighed himself since). When he goes to the gym he usually does about 30 mins cardio and lifts some weights.

Any good advice I can give to him?

paxbfl · February 2013

I'm 6'2" also. In October I weighed 250. Today I weigh about 207 and have 16% body fat. It was surprisingly easy once I adjusted to my new lifestyle.

The biggest thing for me was understanding the math of weight-loss. When I first joined MFP I kept track of my calories in a normal day and was shocked to discover I was eating about 3500 calories a day. Even with a hard workout factored in, that's at least 500 calories too much - so it's no wonder I kept gaining weight. I adjusted my calories to about 2,000 calories a day and continued to work out hard and the weight just dropped off. I was losing 2-3 pounds a week.

Start here. I like this calculator:

http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/

Figure out how your BMR (the minimum calories your body needs to function - you should ALWAYS eat more than this number) and your TDEE (the calories you burn in a typical day). You want to be between the two numbers to lose weight. When you factor exercise in, if you're 500 calories under your TDEE every day, you'll lose about a pound a week. That's probably a good goal - if you're under that like I was, you'll lose more. But you can do that without killing yourself or making yourself miserable.

MFP will give you similar numbers. Set your goal for 1 pound of weight-loss per week. I set my activity level to sedentary since I don't do much outside of my workout. MFP will add your exercise calories back in. Do NOT eat back your exercise calories if you want to lose weight! If you screw up and eat a little extra, the exercise gives you some wiggle room. But don't eat those calories back as a general rule.

Other thoughts:

* For the workout... like your husband I do cardio and lift. I would lift every other day. On lifting days I'd do the elliptical on a moderate setting for about 30 min. On non-lifting days I would focus on cardio. I liked doing HIIT (high intensity interval training) to really get my heart-rate up. I'd do HIIT for 30 minutes, get a drink and stretch and then jump on the elliptical for a bit. My goal was at least 500 calories burned every day. For the lifting I would alternate upper and lower body to give my muscles a break.

* Nutrition... consider eating "mini-meals" instead of traditional big meals. Small meals help keep your blood sugar stable through the day so you're not hungry. This really works for me. I eat breakfast around 9 (post workout), lunch around noon, afternoon snack at 3 and an evening snack around 8 all about 300 calories. So that's 1200 calories. Then I'd eat a regular dinner with my family (about 600 calories). That's 1,800 calories - that gave me a little wiggle room to stay under 2,000.

* Avoid refined sugar and simple carbs like white bread and pasta. They wreak havoc on your blood sugar level which causes cravings.

* Eat lots of protein and complex carbs (whole grains) and lots of water. The protein will feed your muscles, the carbs will give you sustained energy, the water will help you feel full so you're not hungry.

* Log everything and be 100% honest. Consider measuring portions to understand how much you're eating. Most people WAY underestimate how much food they eat. I certainly did. I cut WAY back on my beer consumption when I saw all those calories. Same with my beloved chicken wings. Sorry... they are 100 calories per wing. Not worth it to me.

* I do a "Free day" every week or two. At breakfast I log in "Free Day" at 3,500 calories and click "Logging Complete". It's a rest day from the gym, rest day from the nutrition program, rest day from logging. For me, it helps me stay on the program because I don't feel deprived. Anything I want I can have on the free day (like chicken wings and beer!) This is heavily debated and doesn't work for everyone, but it really works for me.

Surround yourself with good friends in real life and on MFP. Take all the support you can get. Tell him to send me a friend request!

P.S. I'm in muscle-building mode (and fat maintenance), so if you look at my diary now you'll see differences from what I described above.

RobinsonMomof4 · February 2013

Thank you SO much for all that helpful advice! It definitely will assist him since you are both (or were) about the same size! I will be sharing this with him!!!

Keep up the superior work!

swingsintherain · February 2013

Since you mentioned you guys have recently joined the gym, you might just give it a few weeks. A lot of people will gain at first because the muscles hold on to water to repair themselves (after starting weight lifting). It might just be too soon to tell!

cmcollins001 · February 2013

So my husband and I started on a weight loss/get fit trek together at the beginning of this month. We have joined P.F. and changed our eating habits. After working out every other day for a week and changing his eating habits (no more soda, only water or vita-waters, no more junk like double cheesburgers, etc for lunch). ANYWAY, he GAINED 2 pounds. He's very upset (even though he would never tell me that) and I don't know what to make of it. The only conclusion that I can come to is the WAY he changed his eating habits...

For example, he typically does not eat breakfast (big no no) and when he does eat lunch, he was only get some chicken wings (dry w/o sauce) and some sort of fruit or something from Sheetz. Or a small meal of that sort. Then of course he comes home from work and eats dinner that I make (lean protein, veggies, fruit) and that's it. I think MAYBE he's not getting ENOUGH calories and that his body is storing what he does get into fat. I really have no idea. I'm grasping at straws here. Does this sound feasible to you?

He is about 6'2 and just weighed in at 236 at the gym last week. (He has not weighed himself since). When he goes to the gym he usually does about 30 mins cardio and lifts some weights.

Any good advice I can give to him?

Maybe this will help, it's basically what works for a lot of people here. I wrote it in a blog to make things easier instead of a copy and paste.

TL;DR = Eat at caloric deficit + exercise + wait for results = success

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/cmcollins001/view/so-you-re-new-here-478045

Skrib69 · February 2013

Nuf said, particularly by paxbfl. Get hubby to send me a friend request if he wants to, and good luck!

ILiftHeavyAcrylics · February 2013

Since you mentioned you guys have recently joined the gym, you might just give it a few weeks. A lot of people will gain at first because the muscles hold on to water to repair themselves (after starting weight lifting). It might just be too soon to tell!

This is my thought too. I started lifting just over a week ago and have been up 2-3 pounds since the day after I started, until yesterday when it went away overnight. Tell him to be patient.

Also does he count calories? Without doing that it's impossible for us to tell whether his calorie goal is appropriate.

Athijade · February 2013

It may take more then a week for anyone to see any sort of change. Weight loss is not linear. That is one reason I started weighing only monthly. It would drive me nuts to see fluctuation!

Meal timing and frequency have no impact on weight loss or metabolic rate. So if he doesn't want to eat breakfast, he does not have to.

That said... it is possible he is not eating enough. Do you know what his calorie totals are?

RobinsonMomof4 · February 2013

Since you mentioned you guys have recently joined the gym, you might just give it a few weeks. A lot of people will gain at first because the muscles hold on to water to repair themselves (after starting weight lifting). It might just be too soon to tell!

I let him know this. And I've told him also that his weight will prob fluctuate at first.
Thanks for the advice!

RobinsonMomof4 · February 2013

It may take more then a week for anyone to see any sort of change. Weight loss is not linear. That is one reason I started weighing only monthly. It would drive me nuts to see fluctuation!

Meal timing and frequency have no impact on weight loss or metabolic rate. So if he doesn't want to eat breakfast, he does not have to.

That said... it is possible he is not eating enough. Do you know what his calorie totals are?

Unfortunately no, I don't know his caloric intake exactly. He is not as anal as I am about keeping track. He is better at trying to make good choices based on HOW MANY calories a certain food has...and then going from there.

RobinsonMomof4 · February 2013

So my husband and I started on a weight loss/get fit trek together at the beginning of this month. We have joined P.F. and changed our eating habits. After working out every other day for a week and changing his eating habits (no more soda, only water or vita-waters, no more junk like double cheesburgers, etc for lunch). ANYWAY, he GAINED 2 pounds. He's very upset (even though he would never tell me that) and I don't know what to make of it. The only conclusion that I can come to is the WAY he changed his eating habits...

For example, he typically does not eat breakfast (big no no) and when he does eat lunch, he was only get some chicken wings (dry w/o sauce) and some sort of fruit or something from Sheetz. Or a small meal of that sort. Then of course he comes home from work and eats dinner that I make (lean protein, veggies, fruit) and that's it. I think MAYBE he's not getting ENOUGH calories and that his body is storing what he does get into fat. I really have no idea. I'm grasping at straws here. Does this sound feasible to you?

He is about 6'2 and just weighed in at 236 at the gym last week. (He has not weighed himself since). When he goes to the gym he usually does about 30 mins cardio and lifts some weights.

Any good advice I can give to him?

Maybe this will help, it's basically what works for a lot of people here. I wrote it in a blog to make things easier instead of a copy and paste.

TL;DR = Eat at caloric deficit + exercise + wait for results = success

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/cmcollins001/view/so-you-re-new-here-478045

Thank you! The link is also awesome advice!

Kooraloo · February 2013

So my husband and I started on a weight loss/get fit trek together at the beginning of this month. We have joined P.F. and changed our eating habits. After working out every other day for a week and changing his eating habits (no more soda, only water or vita-waters, no more junk like double cheesburgers, etc for lunch). ANYWAY, he GAINED 2 pounds. He's very upset (even though he would never tell me that) and I don't know what to make of it. The only conclusion that I can come to is the WAY he changed his eating habits...

For example, he typically does not eat breakfast (big no no)and when he does eat lunch, he was only get some chicken wings (dry w/o sauce) and some sort of fruit or something from Sheetz. Or a small meal of that sort. Then of course he comes home from work and eats dinner that I make (lean protein, veggies, fruit) and that's it. I think MAYBE he's not getting ENOUGH calories and that his body is storing what he does get into fat. I really have no idea. I'm grasping at straws here. Does this sound feasible to you?

He is about 6'2 and just weighed in at 236 at the gym last week. (He has not weighed himself since). When he goes to the gym he usually does about 30 mins cardio and lifts some weights.

Any good advice I can give to him?

I rarely ever eat breakfast. It doesn't matter when you eat as much as how many calories you get by the end of the day. I do a form of Intermittent Fasting where I start eating around noon and finish around 5 or 6 pm. It's much better suited to my lifestyle and it's perfectly healthy because I'm still getting enough calories.

If this is something he prefers, then perhaps talk to him about eating more high calorie food or just eating more in general.

IF website: http://www.leangains.com

OH! and also: his gain could be due to water retention. I know that when I change my workout routine, my body tends to hold onto water and I experience a gain in the first few weeks/days.

paxbfl · February 2013

Unfortunately no, I don't know his caloric intake exactly. He is not as anal as I am about keeping track.

This is probably the entire problem right here.

I was the same way. When I finally got serious and counted every calorie, that's when I realized I was eating way, way, WAY more than I thought I was.

Weight-loss is simple math, but you have to know the numbers - the REAL numbers.

andyallcorn · February 2013

Weight-loss is simple math, but you have to know the numbers - the REAL numbers.

I too am 6'2", and was just over 250lb. After 8 months I'm 200lb. The above is pure truth, for me at least.

I find it liberating, because I can eat whatever the heck I want -- pizza, burgers, etc -- so long as I know how much I've eaten, and I balance it with some exercise (mainly walking) if necessary. Oh, and I usually skip breakfast too. I'm not hungry when I've just woken up.

I weigh every morning, although I only care about the long term trend not individual measurements; and some mornings I've "gained" a heck of a lot more than 2lb! My loss takes a bizarre, meandering path, but the trend is inexorably downward, so long as I keep careful track and make sure there's more out than in.

Probably the best things you can do for your husband are, as others have said:

(1) Encourage him to keep better track of his real calorie intake, rather than relying on intuition; you get to eat more fun things that way!
(2) Give him enough support and encouragement that he keeps it up long enough to see results. It won't take long if he's eating even moderately well.

RobinsonMomof4 · February 2013

Unfortunately no, I don't know his caloric intake exactly. He is not as anal as I am about keeping track.

This is probably the entire problem right here.

I was the same way. When I finally got serious and counted every calorie, that's when I realized I was eating way, way, WAY more than I thought I was.

Weight-loss is simple math, but you have to know the numbers - the REAL numbers.

You're right. I am really trying to get him to keep track of his calories because then he could have TANGIBLE evidence of what's going in versus what is being exercised out, so to speak.
I will probably end up doing a MFP page for him and keeping track for him, LOL!

RobinsonMomof4 · February 2013

I'm 6'2" also. In October I weighed 250. Today I weigh about 207 and have 16% body fat. It was surprisingly easy once I adjusted to my new lifestyle.

The biggest thing for me was understanding the math of weight-loss. When I first joined MFP I kept track of my calories in a normal day and was shocked to discover I was eating about 3500 calories a day. Even with a hard workout factored in, that's at least 500 calories too much - so it's no wonder I kept gaining weight. I adjusted my calories to about 2,000 calories a day and continued to work out hard and the weight just dropped off. I was losing 2-3 pounds a week.

Start here. I like this calculator:

http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/

Figure out how your BMR (the minimum calories your body needs to function - you should ALWAYS eat more than this number) and your TDEE (the calories you burn in a typical day). You want to be between the two numbers to lose weight. When you factor exercise in, if you're 500 calories under your TDEE every day, you'll lose about a pound a week. That's probably a good goal - if you're under that like I was, you'll lose more. But you can do that without killing yourself or making yourself miserable.

MFP will give you similar numbers. Set your goal for 1 pound of weight-loss per week. I set my activity level to sedentary since I don't do much outside of my workout. MFP will add your exercise calories back in. Do NOT eat back your exercise calories if you want to lose weight! If you screw up and eat a little extra, the exercise gives you some wiggle room. But don't eat those calories back as a general rule.

Other thoughts:

* For the workout... like your husband I do cardio and lift. I would lift every other day. On lifting days I'd do the elliptical on a moderate setting for about 30 min. On non-lifting days I would focus on cardio. I liked doing HIIT (high intensity interval training) to really get my heart-rate up. I'd do HIIT for 30 minutes, get a drink and stretch and then jump on the elliptical for a bit. My goal was at least 500 calories burned every day. For the lifting I would alternate upper and lower body to give my muscles a break.

* Nutrition... consider eating "mini-meals" instead of traditional big meals. Small meals help keep your blood sugar stable through the day so you're not hungry. This really works for me. I eat breakfast around 9 (post workout), lunch around noon, afternoon snack at 3 and an evening snack around 8 all about 300 calories. So that's 1200 calories. Then I'd eat a regular dinner with my family (about 600 calories). That's 1,800 calories - that gave me a little wiggle room to stay under 2,000.

* Avoid refined sugar and simple carbs like white bread and pasta. They wreak havoc on your blood sugar level which causes cravings.

* Eat lots of protein and complex carbs (whole grains) and lots of water. The protein will feed your muscles, the carbs will give you sustained energy, the water will help you feel full so you're not hungry.

* Log everything and be 100% honest. Consider measuring portions to understand how much you're eating. Most people WAY underestimate how much food they eat. I certainly did. I cut WAY back on my beer consumption when I saw all those calories. Same with my beloved chicken wings. Sorry... they are 100 calories per wing. Not worth it to me.

* I do a "Free day" every week or two. At breakfast I log in "Free Day" at 3,500 calories and click "Logging Complete". It's a rest day from the gym, rest day from the nutrition program, rest day from logging. For me, it helps me stay on the program because I don't feel deprived. Anything I want I can have on the free day (like chicken wings and beer!) This is heavily debated and doesn't work for everyone, but it really works for me.

Surround yourself with good friends in real life and on MFP. Take all the support you can get. Tell him to send me a friend request!

P.S. I'm in muscle-building mode (and fat maintenance), so if you look at my diary now you'll see differences from what I described above.

I also love the idea of a free day. I have decided that Sunday will be my 'Free" day. It's just a complete day of rest!

Advice for my husband

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