I'm fat. I'm in denial. I'm stupid with no willpower.

Since you are wanting to loose right at 15 pounds, make that first goal 5 pounds. Once that's off set the goal to keep it off for a week or two then set another 5 pound goal and repeat till you are where you want to be.

OK, the food portion and snacking issues....I promise you we have almost all had the same problems. I was hungry when I ate what I was supposed to at first. Then I realized that if I ate proper portions I could actually have snacks in between meals. I LOVE snacks! I discovered 100 calorie snack packs, chocolate chip chewy granola bars, and how sweet yet not bad for me preserves are. Snacks can be fruit, baked chips, or a couple of dove dark chocolate hearts too. Like the soda? Try Coke Zero or any soda you like in the diet version. You are bound to find one you like. Yes, you do need to give some things up, not to loose weight per say, but to eat and be healthier.

Self control is just what it sounds like though, it's only self done. So YOU have to decide to do this FOR YOU or it won't work. Don't do it cause someone else says you should. Don't do it cause you think it will make those around you happier or less likely to tease, taunt, or berate you. Do it because YOU want to be healthy for YOU (for your baby is a good reason too, but not for anyone else!)

^^^ THIS TOO

Hi

I have been a member here for over a year and the first thing I want to tell you is congratulations - you made it.......to the best place to get help advice and support in the world.
Ok plug over It has taken me 12months for things to fall into place, where I am now making small steps to getting me to where my body needs to be.

The how is the hardest part of this - I read yesterday that it takes 3500 calories to burn off 1lb of fat - wow thats some effort - however if we are reducing our intake as well as exercising this is achievable

I guess its like that new car, holiday or home makeover - if you really want it you will make it happen, and arriving on this site means you want it!

Now it takes 21 days to change a habit so don't beat yourself up if you are not perfect none of us are, no matter what they say, or else why would we need to be here.

I would urge you to keep going - record it all in your diary and then each week/month review the results food intake, eventually your habit will be to challenge the reason you are reaching for a sweet,cake, biscuit, choclate chips etc. It will come, just spend some time to get familiar with what it means to eat something.
Drink more fluids - I live in Australia and we always have a 2l jug of cordial mixed in the fridge, some days this gets refilled 3 times as we all drink if we feel hungry just in case the brain interprets the thirst signal as hunger.

I don't tell anyone I'm dieting at all now as this seems to set off a whole string of conversation that seems to get more and more negative and I start to doubt myself. Instead when they ask me what am i doing i tell them - I'm in the gym and I have taken to eating well.

In my fridge I always have a bowl of fresh fruit salad - mine is usually fresh mango, plums, peaches, grapes and honey melon, When I get the nibbles I have a cup of this with approx 50g of creamy yoghurt. (all goes in my diary) so what if the yoghurt is not diet or low fat its still an improvement on ice-cream or cream (which was what i used to have with cake or biscuits) Take small steps as the previous posters have advised
Sweets are an addiction just like smoking and drinking its just no one wants to recognise this

What dawned on me yesterday is that it will take me another year to make my target weight based on losing 2lbs per week. 1lb from food calorie control and 1lb from excercise, so that makes me realise that its not a quick fix. .

My excercise trainer tells me to allow myself the odd treat and not get to stressed about it so long as I keep my eye on the prize

My prize is to be around 85kg by Christmas 2013, not exact and not going to get to stressed if Im above that target, I weighed in this morning at the gym and Im 104.4 - last tuesday 1 was 103.9kg so not all things are to my plan.
I will just keep going - Please add me as a friend if you feel you need some moral support

Above all don't feel it controls you - you are the boss so make sure it knows you are in control - good luck and have fun.

I agree with Sherri. Drop the so called friends and you'll be on your way to success.

Yes I was in denial. I still don't really look at myself in the mirror much. I get a shock! Is that really what I look like? In my head I'm slimmer... So I had my DD take front side and back photo of me in workout gear an I will take another set every time I lose 5kg. To show progress and so I know what I actually look like.

Don't buy tempting foods. If they aren't in the house, you can't eat them. Keep lists of fresh fruit and veggies. Protein, fibre and water will keep you full.

Good luck and make sure your next post is called... "I'm a smart and confident woman and improving my life".

Ahh okay...so it is the sweets that get ya...I have a sweet tooth myself. First know that sugar is addicting...like a drug, and your body and mind are not happy when you start telling it no. I played around with a lot of artificial sweetners before I decided I was not putting that crap into my body any more...because all it did was make me crave more sweets...so in my opinion the sugar free stuff is not the answer either. For me, the answer was fresh fruits...berries, apples, oranges....and from there I started cutting down on them as well. You will notice that the more sweets you eat...the more sweet you can tolerate...after not eating sweets for a while that stuff you were eating before....well it simply taste like a ball of sugar.

Maybe take baby steps and see how that goes? Maybe start tracking and figure out what you ARE eating and then set a modest goal for reduction for a month or so. You don't have to start drastic and I think drastic lifestyle changes cause more harm than good anyway, because that's so hard to maintain. Maybe add some basic exercise such as walking. You can stair step it down. Not everyone starts off like the people you see on "The Biggest Loser" and is suddenly jacked in 6 months.

I took 3 years before I started honestly tracking my calories. In the meantime, I went from short walks, to the elliptical, to weight training and, eventually, running. Only then did everything click and I just shed the pounds. Do some research, be healthy about it, but find what works for YOU.

EDIT: Oh, and as for denial, heck yea. I have no idea how much I weighed at my heaviest. Honestly no clue.

Good advice. Maybe start by tracking everything (and I mean everything) you eat for 30 days. At that point you can start trying to make some small changes to your diet and walk a half mile a day. Each month take some small steps. That Biggest Loser crap is not real life and it's not realistic. Think long term. I've never met you and I know for a fact you can do it.

Ive been a member of MFP for almost 2 yrs and its only been this year that ive commited to making changes, i knew i was overweight but wasnt ready to see just how bad i looked. I dont know what changed suddenly, it wasnt a magic number or a new self hatred of my appearance (ive already had this for years), it wasnt that there are no photos of my kids with me it just suddenly seemed to be something i could do and commit to.
I think this journey is like giving up smoking if you arent 100% ready, committed or even just in the right 'place' right now it makes it so much harder. And like quitting smoking (for me anyway) it takes you more than one attempt, you will fail, you will fall off the wagon occasionally, but eventually when you are really ready and determined you will do it and you will succeed.

Best of luck.

I am about to channel Jillian Michaels here.

You have to be honest with yourself. You have to be able to look at the junk you are eating and say this will make me feel good for two seconds and then BAD forever. This entire process is a reframe of the way you think about food. I found myself not succeeding at weight loss when I viewed food as a reward for exercise. TREATS ARE NOT THE REWARDS--the new health, the caloric burn, the pride of pushing yourself are the rewards for exercise are the rewards.

I am not saying that you can't have treats--but the idea that "I deserve this because I worked out today" is going to sabotage you every time. For example, today I went to brunch with my friends and I knew before hand that I was going to eat more calories than my typical breakfast. Rather than fretting through brunch and worrying about it putting me over my calorie goal-I had a good time and resigned myself to working out a little more than I would usually.

The same thing goes for food as comfort for depression or sadness. Again, be honest, unhealthy food is one of the causes not one of the cures. When you are overcome, get up go outside and breath, hold your baby and marvel at the miracle that you brought in the world, say three things that you are thankful for (even if they are simple like 1) you woke up 2) you got out of bed 3) you are breathing.)

Getting healthy is WORK. It is just that simple. It will not happen on its own and it will not happen all at once, but it will happen if you commit yourself to taking charge of your life and you know that you are worth it. I can tell you right now that YOU ARE WORTH IT, and YOU CAN DO IT.

Now get up and do it!

I understand what you are saying. Maybe you should add me and we can encourage each other.. Anyway here is my take on this... if you are at home A LOT then you will eat more... if you are out generally you wont eat as much. The time you spend waiting in a drive through line walk in side to get your food... You're going shopping dont look for the closest space park at the back of the parking lot. All these little things you would be surprised at how fast the burnt calories add up.

take baby steps. I started buy introducing myself to produce, fruits and veggies. I am more partical to sweet than salty. I started with squash, a few years ago, I was craving pumpkin shakes. I bought a couple of differant kinds of squash. Turns out I really love butternut squash. I slice it in half long ways. Then scoop out the seeds. Spray my baking sheet with olive oil, and bake it sliced side down at 450 for about 45 mins. The skin may look burned but thats ok. the meat isnt. Let them cool, and they will sweat. which makes them easy to scope out. Then mash the squash, One whole one usually makes about 3 cups. I add 2-3 tbls butter (real) and pumpkin spice. I also use splenda. and eat it warm.... Even a whole cup which is alot, is extremly filling and under 100 calories. This is one of my comfort foods.

Other peoples stories help me keep going. I look at where I started and where I can be. I hope you can get to a good point with your weight. You look great in your picture.

Dont listen to other people, they say mean **** to you, because they have their own issues. they would rather hurt you then deal with there own.

Take a deep breath right now and just try to find yourself. Think about yourself in how you want to see yourself - how thin do you want to be? How beautiful do you want to look? Disregard the billboards, the magazines, the stabs from your peers that tell you you're not good enough - what do you want for yourself?

Now that you've figured that out, be patient with your body. Start buying healthy foods, take the extra effort to put in some exercises into your schedule and yes! more baby steps! take small steps towards losing weight and getting down to your realistic goals.

If you can't sprint, run. If you can't run, walk. If you can't walk, crawl.
But regardless of whatever, don't let yourself sit there.

You have to be able to love your body enough to want this. Because if you don't love it, then how can anyone else?