I'm fat. I'm in denial. I'm stupid with no willpower.

Ive been a member of MFP for almost 2 yrs and its only been this year that ive commited to making changes, i knew i was overweight but wasnt ready to see just how bad i looked. I dont know what changed suddenly, it wasnt a magic number or a new self hatred of my appearance (ive already had this for years), it wasnt that there are no photos of my kids with me it just suddenly seemed to be something i could do and commit to.
I think this journey is like giving up smoking if you arent 100% ready, committed or even just in the right 'place' right now it makes it so much harder. And like quitting smoking (for me anyway) it takes you more than one attempt, you will fail, you will fall off the wagon occasionally, but eventually when you are really ready and determined you will do it and you will succeed.

Best of luck.

I am about to channel Jillian Michaels here.

You have to be honest with yourself. You have to be able to look at the junk you are eating and say this will make me feel good for two seconds and then BAD forever. This entire process is a reframe of the way you think about food. I found myself not succeeding at weight loss when I viewed food as a reward for exercise. TREATS ARE NOT THE REWARDS--the new health, the caloric burn, the pride of pushing yourself are the rewards for exercise are the rewards.

I am not saying that you can't have treats--but the idea that "I deserve this because I worked out today" is going to sabotage you every time. For example, today I went to brunch with my friends and I knew before hand that I was going to eat more calories than my typical breakfast. Rather than fretting through brunch and worrying about it putting me over my calorie goal-I had a good time and resigned myself to working out a little more than I would usually.

The same thing goes for food as comfort for depression or sadness. Again, be honest, unhealthy food is one of the causes not one of the cures. When you are overcome, get up go outside and breath, hold your baby and marvel at the miracle that you brought in the world, say three things that you are thankful for (even if they are simple like 1) you woke up 2) you got out of bed 3) you are breathing.)

Getting healthy is WORK. It is just that simple. It will not happen on its own and it will not happen all at once, but it will happen if you commit yourself to taking charge of your life and you know that you are worth it. I can tell you right now that YOU ARE WORTH IT, and YOU CAN DO IT.

Now get up and do it!

I understand what you are saying. Maybe you should add me and we can encourage each other.. Anyway here is my take on this... if you are at home A LOT then you will eat more... if you are out generally you wont eat as much. The time you spend waiting in a drive through line walk in side to get your food... You're going shopping dont look for the closest space park at the back of the parking lot. All these little things you would be surprised at how fast the burnt calories add up.

take baby steps. I started buy introducing myself to produce, fruits and veggies. I am more partical to sweet than salty. I started with squash, a few years ago, I was craving pumpkin shakes. I bought a couple of differant kinds of squash. Turns out I really love butternut squash. I slice it in half long ways. Then scoop out the seeds. Spray my baking sheet with olive oil, and bake it sliced side down at 450 for about 45 mins. The skin may look burned but thats ok. the meat isnt. Let them cool, and they will sweat. which makes them easy to scope out. Then mash the squash, One whole one usually makes about 3 cups. I add 2-3 tbls butter (real) and pumpkin spice. I also use splenda. and eat it warm.... Even a whole cup which is alot, is extremly filling and under 100 calories. This is one of my comfort foods.

Other peoples stories help me keep going. I look at where I started and where I can be. I hope you can get to a good point with your weight. You look great in your picture.

Dont listen to other people, they say mean **** to you, because they have their own issues. they would rather hurt you then deal with there own.

Take a deep breath right now and just try to find yourself. Think about yourself in how you want to see yourself - how thin do you want to be? How beautiful do you want to look? Disregard the billboards, the magazines, the stabs from your peers that tell you you're not good enough - what do you want for yourself?

Now that you've figured that out, be patient with your body. Start buying healthy foods, take the extra effort to put in some exercises into your schedule and yes! more baby steps! take small steps towards losing weight and getting down to your realistic goals.

If you can't sprint, run. If you can't run, walk. If you can't walk, crawl.
But regardless of whatever, don't let yourself sit there.

You have to be able to love your body enough to want this. Because if you don't love it, then how can anyone else?

Your biggest enemy for you to conquer will be YOURSELF. If you think less of yourself, others will too. Stand tall. See the beautiful woman you are. You are making a positive step by being here, and as someone else said, baby steps are key, each baby step adds up. Log everything honestly and I think you'll be quite happy with your results. :bigsmile: