Fed up !!!!

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dmnj33
dmnj33 Posts: 63 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I get this phone call this morning. How is your weight loss going, How much did you lose they ask. I said well I'm down 33 pounds and still going. THAT'S IT.. they say. REALLY? Thanks Mom. That really made me feel like ****. Maybe 33 pounds is not amazing in 100 days but with 3 herniated and 1 collapsed disk that's the BEST I can do.

So sick of my family never saying anything nice to me. They constantly set me up to fail. The other day She calls me and asked if I wanted to come up for brownies. again REALLY ?????? Lets see I come have a brownie and then next week you tell me I have not lost enough. Do you NOT get it. I had enough brownies in my 42 years to put down a horse. I don't need a brownie. What I need is love and support from my family.

I don't even like going over there anymore. They all just drive me crazy and now to make it even better my wife is doing it. Last night she asked if I wanted to go out for pasta. NO, I said !!! How about a salad. She also needs to lose weight and I would love for her to get on here but she just wont. She has a hip replacement and can't really exercise but I told her that you can still lose. 10 pounds can come off just by eating better..

I get tons of love and support from friends on here but at times it's just not enough. I don't ask for them to do anything but support me and WHY should I even have to ask for that? I don't get it !!!

I wanna put my self up for adoption or on ebay !!!!

Replies

  • Sweetpickles99
    Sweetpickles99 Posts: 92
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    Oh thats not good. I know our family is important to us but sometime they can be our worst enemy. You just have to do it for yourself and focus on that for now. Just keep at it..I'm wishing you the best.
  • usernameMAMA
    usernameMAMA Posts: 681 Member
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    Maybe your mom meant that you look like you lost more than 33 pounds. If that's the case, it's a compliment. I know how you feel though, my husband is constantly trying to get me to eat junk. He'll sit next to me on the couch in the evening with a bag of chip ahoy and munch away. He offers them to me at least twice...grrr
  • Cyndieann
    Cyndieann Posts: 152 Member
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    I had the same kind of issue. I invited all my loved ones over for a big dinner party. We played Wii fit games before dinner and we all took our dogs for a long walk after dinner. The menu I planned was diet friendly all the way ! My family gets it a little better now...maybe something like this will help you. Good luck!!!
  • Trilby16
    Trilby16 Posts: 707 Member
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    Thirty-three pounds in 100 days seems like excellent progress to me. I would spend a lot less time talking to people who don't support me, even if they are my MOM.
  • lisamarie2181
    lisamarie2181 Posts: 560 Member
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    Have you tried sitting down and talking to them about it? Sometimes family does things like that without realizing that it makes things harder. My Nonnie (gram) will compliment my loss one minute and then try shoving food down my throat the next lol but she is like that with everyone, Italian grandmas like to feed you. I think food is such a comfort to a lot of people, when they don't have to deal with the hardships of trying to lose weight, sometimes I don't think they realize how difficult it is. 30 lbs in 100 days is great and you should be proud, I am proud of you! Don't worry what anyone says, I say try and tell them how you feel and if that still doesn't help, then you may just have to try and learn to tune them out.

    And maybe your wife will jump on the bandwagon when she sees you losing and getting healthier everyday. Sometimes some people just need something to click and make them take the leap to get healthy.

    Hang in there my friend, you have us all here supporting you and know that you are strong and can do this. :)
  • gypsyrose64
    gypsyrose64 Posts: 271 Member
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    Sorry about that.. I have the same problem at my house. Roommate wants to go eat out every weekend, at restaurants with limited healthy choices. Daughter comes in the house with a half eaten pizza and throws it in my face... or even better, chocolate! Everyone seems to purposely try to sabotage me.

    With that said, I have to remember they don't have MY problem (both skinny) and the bottom line is... I'm doing this for ME!

    Try not to let the family get you down. Could be lots of reasons for them to act that way, but you are doing great and it's all about YOU right now!!! Don't forget that! Stay focused.
  • aliciagetshealthy
    aliciagetshealthy Posts: 946 Member
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    33 pounds in 100 days IS amazing! I think Biggest Loser has contributed to the delusion that this should be some fast, magical type thing. Don't let negativity from others affect the awesome job you're doing!
  • Supersix67
    Supersix67 Posts: 10 Member
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    Maybe they are jealous of your achievement and wish they were as motivated in their lives as you are.

    Amazing progress by the way.
  • amyllu
    amyllu Posts: 432 Member
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    Such a shame that you feel so unloved and somewhat ignored.
    I do have very similar problems with my family but then I have been struggling to lose some more for such a long time that they most probably think I am not really trying.

    It's interesting that your wife is not able to exercise due to her hip replacement. How long is it since this was done as many people do manage to get back to a quite active life style. If you would like some advice and help on this subject do go to this forum:

    http://bonesmart.org/ .... Very helpful nurse in charge who has great experience in dealing with any type of replacement surgery.

    All the very best to you in your endeavour and keep up the good work.... YOU CAN DO IT!!! ... :drinker:
  • ericthornton43
    ericthornton43 Posts: 4 Member
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    Your progress is really inspiring! You should be proud!

    I can feel your pain with regards to your mom. Her comment wasn't terribly sensitive. I would let her know how that made you feel and let her know that you are committed to your plan and that you can't be around people that don't support you. Think of a nice way to say it, of course ;)

    I have some friends and family members thinking they are helping when in fact they sabotage my efforts.

    When I try to lose weight, they are the ones saying "come on, a couple beers isn't going to hurt you!"

    When my wife and I went on a budget to start saving some money, they are the ones saying "come on, let's get away for the weekend, you can afford it!"

    At first I politely declined their offers. After the tenth time though, I start to get angry. I want to say "why can't you support me instead of trying to get me to break these committments I've made to myself?!?!"
  • baksings
    baksings Posts: 11
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    Maybe they are jealous of your achievement and wish they were as motivated in their lives as you are.

    Amazing progress by the way.

    I agree, they are jealous. I have the similar issues with my spouse. He's always sabatoging me. I try to ignore it but it can be difficult!
    Good Luck!
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
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    This is why my husband and I have nothing what so ever to do with my relatives. No support what so ever. Always negative Debby Downers.

    Keep doing what you're doing. You'll get there in your own time in your own way without injuring yourself or making yourself sick. If things don't move fast enough for others then screw them. Its your life, your health and you deserve to be happy and healthy the right way.

    Good luck and you're a great person. Just keep telling yourself that even if you don't hear it from so called loved ones. :flowerforyou:
  • boatsie77
    boatsie77 Posts: 480 Member
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    You must learn that the only thing you can change is YOU (mind & body). Hoping, wishing, needing others to change will only cause you suffering which will cause your further attempts at a healthy lifestyle to be more of a struggle than it already is. Suggest you read the book 'Unteathered Soul' and embrace the message that it carries. Stop looking to others for what you believe you need--EVERYTHING you need comes from within. Congrats on your great results so far--you CAN do this all by yourself--you just need to convince yourself that you can.
  • mcdebbie
    mcdebbie Posts: 940 Member
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    Maybe your wife is missing doing things with you and suggested it as a way to go out together? As for your mother, yeah moms are like that.

    Looks like you are doing well dispite them so keep up the good work!
  • tracyowens22
    tracyowens22 Posts: 49 Member
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    Dude, Negative Nelly's are the worst. I feel your pain. But seriously.... 30lbs in 100 days is GREAT! Think about the what that number will be at 365 days if your progress continues just at the rate you are now. You'll be 100lbs lighter in a year. Remind your mom of this....that in 365 days, that 30lbs in 100 days is fantastic and that 100lbs in a year is nothing short of a OH MY GOD! A friend of mine had a similar problem with family always trying to shove down the wrong kinds of foods that contradict the whole reason you're bettering yourself. She told them she was allergic to sugar and it worked. She wasn't going to NOT see family, but they had to respect the fact that she had this "allergy" as if her life depended on it.

    It's rough, my friend. It really is. But we all are here for you and you know that.

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