my husband is tormenting me!

LilMissAngi
LilMissAngi Posts: 127
edited September 20 in Motivation and Support
He thinks it's funny. Im sure he is joking around, but I don't find it funny.

He will take some ice cream, and just gobble it all up in front of me, and go on about how yummy it was.

I have told him before that I don't find it funny. I have asked him to stop but he just keeps doing it thinking that it is funny.

It is driving me nuts!!!

I don't buy ice cream or any of that stuff when I go to the store.... but he will go out and get some. I don't even want that in my house!

Sorry needed to vent!

grr!
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Replies

  • mommamills
    mommamills Posts: 437
    smack 'em!!! :tongue:

    If he doesn't take you seriously and still doesn't understand how much he's hurting your progress.....go in the other room! maybe if he actually sees that he's upsetting you enough to make you not want to be in the same room, he'll finally get how it makes you feel. Good luck! Icecream is my devil too!!!
  • LongMom
    LongMom Posts: 408 Member
    Vent away!!!

    Is your husband an only child by any chance? My hubby is a "PITA" as well, thinks he's sooooooo funny. He's an only child and I find it explains a LOT ;)
  • questionablemethods
    questionablemethods Posts: 2,174 Member
    Annoying. Sounds like you might need to take a the tactic that my mom used to encourage me to take when my little brother used to do things just to annoy me: ignore it. He knows it bothers you and for some reason he still thinks it is funny. He probably thinks that annoying you is the funny part. So stop showing him that it annoys you. Don't comment on it. If he asks you if you want some just say "Nah." If he goes on and on about how tasty it is, just say "That's nice" and then go about your business. It'll get old to him.
  • nicolina823
    nicolina823 Posts: 450 Member
    That sucks! I know how you feel. I compromised with Slush "italian ice". Its the one thing that I'll save calories for lol. So that is the only gallon of anything I'll let in the house. Needless to say my bf and his son take long walks to go eat ice cream. And all junk stays in his truck for now. At least till I feel better about it being in the house.
  • mworld
    mworld Posts: 270
    that's disrespectful - nip that one in the bud! one time is something else, but doing it frequently is pretty much just torture, and he shouldn't enjoy that.
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
    Just tell him, 'A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.' My mom's favorite saying.
  • lmc0626
    lmc0626 Posts: 4
    don't feel bad; i don't purchase that stuff either when i go the store. like last night he bought some reese peanut butter cups & kept asking me if i wanted some; i kept telling him "no".

    not defending your hubby; but maybe he feels threatened at the fact that you are losing weight????

    i an honestly say that "ice cream" is my biggest weakness.

    just keep your chin up. when he starts that just look at him and smile and walk away; when he realizes that it is not bothering you he will stop.

    keep up the AWESOME work.
    :)
  • chocolateandvodka
    chocolateandvodka Posts: 1,850 Member
    this is a childish option but - next time you hear/see him complaining about not being able to do something he used to do, or wear something he used to wear, then you can be the one "bragging" lol. especially when people start complimenting YOU on your new look and he's left alone. then again... maybe that's why he started his behavior in the first place?
  • CreativeRedhead
    CreativeRedhead Posts: 2,166
    My husband does this too and he's overweight...needing to drop some weight! He'll go out and eat and go buy junk food, bring it home and eat it like it's the most hilarious thing. And now he's stopped working out. It totally ticks me off and I let him know.
  • chgudnitz
    chgudnitz Posts: 4,079
    This may sound strange coming from a guy but...

    When it's just the 2 of you... you know, maybe at night or something... do something, anything that you know drives him nuts (in THAT way :devil: ) like wear something he really likes or less :wink: then don't let him do anything at all. Do that a few times after he does the ice cream thing and each time you tell him no-no remind him that's how him doing what he does makes you feel.

    I PROMISE it will stop pretty quickly. :laugh:
  • megamom
    megamom Posts: 920 Member
    At first my husband kept bringing me rolls and candy bars. He didn't want to change the way we were eating. I stomped my foot down and told him to knock it off. He can eat all that stuff and not gain but I am not that lucky. He has been good since then.
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
    Angi,
    I'm so sorry your hubby isn't being more supportive in what you're doing. It sounds more like immaturity and lack of understanding how important this is to you. Not simply to feel good but for your health and your entire families future.

    Hang in there Girl and keep doing what is working for you,
    Perhaps when he has a treat you can pre-plan a treat of you own but not stoop to that level. Simply enjoy your treat and realize that everytime you eat healthy you're that much closer to where you want to be. Everytime you do a workout, you're that much closer to a healthier body.

    Stooping to his level of maturity I can't imagine is going to get you far and certainly not where you want to be in life and not much of an example for your son.

    What's more important to you, caving or feeling incredible about yourself!:love:
    Becca:flowerforyou:
  • katiri732
    katiri732 Posts: 48 Member
    My hubby is not an only child but he can still be a pita! He grew up on southern fried cooking and doesn't even try to adjust recipes to make them more diet friendly. Then wonders why I don't eat much.
  • Elokyn
    Elokyn Posts: 448 Member
    oh it pisses me off when my boyfriend makes fun of the way I eat. I finally got mad enough one day cause he was making fun of me while I was working out. I said d$mmit travis if you make fun of me one more time I will get skinny and hot and then I'm gonna bleepin leave your bleep.......he hasn't done it since, and when his friends are over they go on the back porch until I'm done. It makes a person mad when you're so serious about something and you get made fun of. I really think it took me yelling at him to realize this was serious to me. He has been really supportive since then..hah
  • FabulousFifty
    FabulousFifty Posts: 1,575 Member
    So many of us can relate. I am quite passive, but one Sunday I had had enough...He was being pushy with his food in restaurant, enticing me to share. I had to "put my big-girl panties on" and stand up to this guy! :laugh: I told him to knock it off and quit being pushy with his food! He has been quite respectful since then. Sometimes I think they feel intimidated by your weightloss. It is their insecurities speaking. Reassure him that though you are losing weight...he is still your main squeeze! :wink:
  • iplayoutside19
    iplayoutside19 Posts: 2,304 Member
    This may sound strange coming from a guy but...

    When it's just the 2 of you... you know, maybe at night or something... do something, anything that you know drives him nuts (in THAT way :devil: ) like wear something he really likes or less :wink: then don't let him do anything at all. Do that a few times after he does the ice cream thing and each time you tell him no-no remind him that's how him doing what he does makes you feel.

    I PROMISE it will stop pretty quickly. :laugh:

    What he said.
  • poustotah
    poustotah Posts: 1,121 Member
    DH used to do this to me. He would sit there with a big bag of chocolate and talk about how delicious it was. He did it with cookies, candy, anything he could think of. SOOOO, one night, I went into the bedroom, shut the door, sat on the bed and started making sounds like I was having an orgasm. Then I started talking about what I was doing.

    I never heard another word about how great chocolate tastes.
  • justgnee2u
    justgnee2u Posts: 7
    And I thought only MY husband did ALL of these things!! LOL I give my husband "the look" and that usually puts a stop to his stupidity.
  • abredbenner
    abredbenner Posts: 125 Member
    When you get to your goal weight and look absolutely fantastic. Shake your hot little behind in front of him and then say - Sorry you can't have any!:laugh:
  • Zaggytiddies
    Zaggytiddies Posts: 326 Member
    My husband is of the mindset, "when people are on diets/ exercising all they want to do is talk about it and how great they're doing. It's annoying." so, I'm not really discussing it with him. It's not something he's ready to do and that's fine with me. I buy the stuff I want to eat and he gets what he wants. He's not teasing me about it but he still eats it in front of me... Just as he's always done. I really think he doesn't want to discuss it because he doesn't want to do it. This is making me stronger in my will power because there are donuts and ice cream in the house but IM NOT EATING THEM! I'm doing this for me. If he'd like to join me one day I'd be all for that but for now, I'm on my own. Cake, ice cream, crappy foods are out there. It's your descision whether or no to put it in your mouth. I feel great that that stuff is at my disposal but I can control myself. You have the power. Use it. If you assert yourself calmly, he'll get bored cause his teasing isn't working. Take the power back!
  • LongMom
    LongMom Posts: 408 Member
    This may sound strange coming from a guy but...

    When it's just the 2 of you... you know, maybe at night or something... do something, anything that you know drives him nuts (in THAT way :devil: ) like wear something he really likes or less :wink: then don't let him do anything at all. Do that a few times after he does the ice cream thing and each time you tell him no-no remind him that's how him doing what he does makes you feel.

    I PROMISE it will stop pretty quickly. :laugh:

    SMART guy! Hit 'em where it hurts ;)

    I also have to echo the "ignore" comment. My hubby was so used to getting "laughs" (why do his parents FAKE laugh? why do other girls fake laugh? hello! Enabling!) out of his "jokes" (only child remember?) and when I stopped responding, he really took it to heart and finally shut up LOL.
  • IbettR
    IbettR Posts: 139 Member
    chgudnitz, you mean that really works?! :blushing:

    Never had to use that against him, but that just might be the solution! :wink:
  • SassyMissDasha
    SassyMissDasha Posts: 614
    My hubby is pretty supportive of me, but he does buy stuff that I don't want around here. He was trying to be sensitive and bought a bag of Munchos while he was out without me .. but then left the bag in the car so I still found it...
  • KatieM7
    KatieM7 Posts: 588 Member
    This may sound strange coming from a guy but...

    When it's just the 2 of you... you know, maybe at night or something... do something, anything that you know drives him nuts (in THAT way :devil: ) like wear something he really likes or less :wink: then don't let him do anything at all. Do that a few times after he does the ice cream thing and each time you tell him no-no remind him that's how him doing what he does makes you feel.

    I PROMISE it will stop pretty quickly. :laugh:

    What he said.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    I hope that you can find a solution to this problem. Just keep thinking about the end results for you. One hot looking bod! You can do it!
  • LittleSpy
    LittleSpy Posts: 6,754 Member
    This may sound strange coming from a guy but...

    When it's just the 2 of you... you know, maybe at night or something... do something, anything that you know drives him nuts (in THAT way :devil: ) like wear something he really likes or less :wink: then don't let him do anything at all. Do that a few times after he does the ice cream thing and each time you tell him no-no remind him that's how him doing what he does makes you feel.

    I PROMISE it will stop pretty quickly. :laugh:

    What he said.

    This was my first thought as well. Either doing that or... punching him in the nuts & laughing about it. "Well, hun, I just think it's hilarious when you scream in agony!" :wink:
  • cdavis1126
    cdavis1126 Posts: 302 Member
    My husband may be a jerk in other ways but I do have to say he has never ever done that to me. He has never used my weight in an argument either. He eats whatever I put in front of him at dinner and does not bring bad food in the house. He has some snacks like pepperoni and cheese that I do buy for him but he never eats it around me at all. I'd slap your husband upside the head. Give him the silent treatment for a few days!!
  • cymills
    cymills Posts: 133 Member
    When I stated this "journey" I told my husband this was important to me and I need his support. i did not expect him to jump on the nband wagon nor did he need to alter his eating habits. It was tough at first - seeing him eating twice as much as me - but hang in there. Once he saw my results - he started checking out calories and was amazed at what he eats. he has pretty much adopted MFP way of thinking and has dropped 13lbs.!!! Ignore him - what a jerk!!!
  • BigSouthernMama
    BigSouthernMama Posts: 12
    Dump all the ice cream out one day so that when he comes home to no ice cream he'll catch the drift. LMBO!
  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
    Annoying. Sounds like you might need to take a the tactic that my mom used to encourage me to take when my little brother used to do things just to annoy me: ignore it. He knows it bothers you and for some reason he still thinks it is funny. He probably thinks that annoying you is the funny part. So stop showing him that it annoys you. Don't comment on it. If he asks you if you want some just say "Nah." If he goes on and on about how tasty it is, just say "That's nice" and then go about your business. It'll get old to him.

    This definitely works. There a couple topics my bf knows I'm touchy about so if he brings one up, I just sit there and I'm quiet. One, because I'm probably upset, and two, because if I'm not quiet, I'll probably say something snarky and start a fight. Lately, when I'm quiet, he'll take notice and he'll ask me what's wrong and then we talk about it rationally and it ends up eliminating or reducing the problem. Hope that helps some!
  • pettmybunny
    pettmybunny Posts: 1,986 Member
    This may sound strange coming from a guy but...

    When it's just the 2 of you... you know, maybe at night or something... do something, anything that you know drives him nuts (in THAT way :devil: ) like wear something he really likes or less :wink: then don't let him do anything at all. Do that a few times after he does the ice cream thing and each time you tell him no-no remind him that's how him doing what he does makes you feel.

    I PROMISE it will stop pretty quickly. :laugh:

    I had to laugh at this one!

    My experience with this is a little different. I found out in Dec. that I'm allergic to eggs and dairy. Most things I don't care too much about, but there are a few things that I definitely miss. Real ice cream (soy ice cream does NOT compare) is one. Garlic bread is another. One night my DH decided that he was going to make cheese tortellini for dinner. I liked cheese tortellini, but it doesn't bother me now not to eat it. I told him we had some open spaghetti sauce in the fridge. He went to the store and bought alfredo sauce. Alfredo sauce is one of the things I miss, but I could deal with it. He also came home with GARLIC BREAD! Now, I have explained in the past that this is an impossible food for me to have in the house. I LOVE LOVE LOVED garlic bread. The smell, the taste. Even watching what I ate, I could still plan for garlic bread with dinner. When I tell everyone in the house about how I wish they wouldn't eat it when I'm here, the kids (and DH once (only once)) said, "Gee, that would totally suck to not eat garlic bread forever". Ummmm what sucks more is to not be able to eat it forever, and watch the rest of your family enjoying it in front of you!

    Anyways, back to why I was posting, sorry for the ramble (guess I'm still fired up about it a month later). I ended up binging in the middle of the night, finishing off the last four peices of garlic bread, dipping them into alfredo sauce. The next morning, I felt like crappola, from the allergies kicking in. I told DH what happened, and burst into tears. The tears did the trick! I'm not saying I faked it, because I didn't. I really felt sick, and I was just so frustrated. But it took the tears for him to see what it was really doing to me. All the times I brought up nicely about how hard it was, they ignored. But the tears really brought it home, that it was hard, that it just wasn't me whining.
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