"You don't need to count calories."

Recently, whenever I ask a server or host at a restaurant if they know how many calories a dish has or if they have a calorie list, the response its "No, we don't. You don't look like you need to count calories anyway." Now, I'm 5'7" and currently 170--not obese, but still striving for overall health and my goal of 140.

It's backhandedly complimentary but still demotivating because it feels like it's undermining--even insulting--the work I'm putting into logging my meals. Has anyone else experienced this? What do you say? If not, what would you say? I've just been going with "oh, thank you," but then sometimes I get a lecture on how counting calories is actually stressful and stress slows the metabolism (I go to a lot of health-minded restaurants). Which is fair, but if I don't track my meals I binge--something I've learned from experience.

No real point here, just musing since I've heard this from servers a couple of times now.

Replies

  • Emtabo01
    Emtabo01 Posts: 672
    If it's a big restaurant, try looking online for nutrition info. I personally just don't really bother asking at any place that doesn't have it listed, bc the people never know or guess, which isn't that helpful. I do my best to guess off of things already listed in MFP database, as long as I'm logging something I think is close, that's satisfies my need to log, maybe overestimate just to be on the safe side.
  • mzjessicaxo
    mzjessicaxo Posts: 330 Member
    I find that the servers never know!! They never have any indication about the nutritional value and often suggest going for a salad... which we know can be more than the fricken burger!
  • time4changexx
    time4changexx Posts: 103 Member
    Legal restaurants need to have this information avalible. Ask to talk to someone other than the server? I can gaurantee any well established or chain has this information (dont expect it from your local family owned diner though). Just insist
  • jordanlell
    jordanlell Posts: 340 Member
    I haven't had the experience of someone telling me this, but I have read it in a couple of magazines in their "fitness" section, which always baffles me. Maybe that's a bit unrelated, but I'm shocked every time I see/hear someone saying that calorie counting is bad.
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  • Monica_has_a_goal
    Monica_has_a_goal Posts: 694 Member
    I would say.. "oh that's too bad.. but thanks anyways" and get up and leave.
  • Funny - I recently asked someone this and their response was "oh honey, you don't want to know".
  • Insulting? People this days...
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
    Recently, whenever I ask a server or host at a restaurant if they know how many calories a dish has or if they have a calorie list, the response its "No, we don't. You don't look like you need to count calories anyway." Now, I'm 5'7" and currently 170--not obese, but still striving for overall health and my goal of 140.

    It's backhandedly complimentary but still demotivating because it feels like it's undermining--even insulting--the work I'm putting into logging my meals. Has anyone else experienced this? What do you say? If not, what would you say? I've just been going with "oh, thank you," but then sometimes I get a lecture on how counting calories is actually stressful and stress slows the metabolism (I go to a lot of health-minded restaurants). Which is fair, but if I don't track my meals I binge--something I've learned from experience.

    No real point here, just musing since I've heard this from servers a couple of times now.

    Wow, that kind of backhanded compliment/response might just have me saying "I don't need to leave a tip/eat here again" … As someone else said, there are some new laws that are increasing requirement of restaurants reporting. I don't know details, but I do try to get the information anyway!
  • latelletubby
    latelletubby Posts: 1 Member
    a restaurant isn't required to list it's nutritional information unless the owner owns more than four of the same restaurant. unfortunately, (coming from a waitress) most places dont offer them :(
  • wrests
    wrests Posts: 84 Member
    I think it might be the way you're phrasing it, honestly- try requesting specifically the nutrition information pamphlet. If you're asking just about calories they may not think about the booklet or think that you expect to know it off the top of your head. If I know I'm going to a restaurant, I'll often go online and check out the nutrition facts there, so I can have a plan ready for when I get there.
  • wikitbikit
    wikitbikit Posts: 518 Member
    Funny - I recently asked someone this and their response was "oh honey, you don't want to know".
    Haha, love it. :)
  • hampstenj
    hampstenj Posts: 85 Member
    ugh.... part of the reason that I'm proud of McDonalds for putting the calorie content on the menu boards, even though I rarely get food from there, it's at least good to know that one place is nice enough to have it listed with ease
  • T1mH
    T1mH Posts: 568 Member
    Tell them you need to know for medical reasons. Its the truth.
  • minizebu
    minizebu Posts: 2,716 Member
    Well, try to accept "Oh you don't need to count calories!" as a compliment, not a back-handed one. What the person is communicating to you is that you look to them as if you are a healthy weight. Take it for what it is. Most people would not say that kind of thing in a mean-spirited way.

    I would suggest that you ask for "nutrition information" instead of a calorie list.

    If someone lectures you again about how counting calories is stressful, etc., just smile politely and say that you need to see the nutritional profile for medical reasons. That will shut them up. It's not their business why you need to see the list, but couching it in terms of medical necessity will likely seem like a more "legitimate" reason to this sort of person.

    Edit: Oops! I didn't read the other response before posting mine and I just realized other people already made these suggestions. But that is because they are good ones! ;-)
  • WickedGarden
    WickedGarden Posts: 944 Member
    even if a restaurant has 'nutrition information' they are only just a guideline. While one server may put 1/2 a cup of alfredo sauce on the meal they make for one person, that same server may put 3/4 a cup of sauce on your plate.

    Most places I go out to eat at are local small chains, so there is no nutrition information, and I hate guessing.
  • lives21
    lives21 Posts: 78 Member
    I used to work at a big chain restaurant, and the servers never know calorie counts. It's also not their job to know. It is however their job to know what other things you can sub out for that side of fries you don't want. Big chains will most always have it posted online, and sometimes they have a nutritional guide printed in store for you to check out (you can ask). I *think* we maybe might have possibly had a nutritional printed menu in store, but I honestly couldn't have told you how many calories in a soup or that bread basket. Plus our sauce providers made everything from scratch from home tested recipes before they hit it big and expanded. I am sure their creamy tomato soup had more than the usual calorie count.

    As for that backhanded compliment, it didn't sound backhanded at all to me (unless it came out that way, I wasn't there). You look so good that total strangers don't think you need to count calories or lose more weight!
  • juliekaiser1988
    juliekaiser1988 Posts: 604 Member
    I would say.. "oh that's too bad.. but thanks anyways" and get up and leave.

    ^^ love this.

    Go to chains. Check their website before you even leave the house. Pre-log.
  • jeshhh
    jeshhh Posts: 44 Member
    Thanks, everyone! Definitely some good advice here, like asking for nutrition info for health reasons rather than calories. One of the times this happened, it was a manager who said it to me, so it's not always servers (and that particular restaurant didn't even have an allergy list, let alone nutritional info!). I do generally look up nutritional info before I go to a restaurant, but most of the ones I go to don't seem to have them listed (I don't like chains).

    And of course, you're right about taking it an an actual compliment--a stranger thinking I don't need to lose any more weight--than a backhanded one. Thanks. :)