Self-sabotage

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jjeemmmc
jjeemmmc Posts: 2 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi All,

I don’t know why but after keeping to my food plans (Which I am only just starting to enter on here) and losing a little weight and feeling so much better and happier and in control I then decide to have a massive binge on all the food I know is bad for me. It’s like because I know it’s bad I want it more and it undoes all of the hard work I have put in when planning my food and going to the gym every day. Does anyone else do this? I feel so stupid and I am completely letting myself down, I feel out of control and alone. I know I am doing it and it’s so self-destructive - it’s a common cycle – I just don’t know how to break it for good or why I do it.

Any advice or insight from anyone else who has also struggled with this would be much appreciated.

I know I can read success stories and take inspiration from other people but i don’t often hear how people dealt with the hard times and get back on the waggon when they’ve fallen off – If I could try and combat this I know I would be happy, healthy, in control of my weight and relationship with food and as a result simmer. Yet however many times I tell myself this I still binge – Is this just something that gets less and less with time?

I have only just stumbled across this site so I expect to use it a lot more – I am sure this will help :)

Replies

  • Tina2Cats
    Tina2Cats Posts: 493 Member
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    Hi, I know what you mean. I have worked hard only to lose it on a single binge or two. This has been why my weight loss has been so slow lately. I have read on other threads that other activities can help replace binges like reading, taking a bath, taking a walk, exercising, etc. Anything to get you out of the kitchen! Even going to bed if it's at night. Here's some support groups here on mfp:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/743-binge-eating-support-group

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/1029-emotional-eating
  • LiveWellness
    LiveWellness Posts: 7
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    I tend to do this too, sometimes. And I've done absurd amounts of reading, writing, and exploring while trying to get to the bottom of it. Generally, willpower isn't the real enemy, but something deeper. Fear of success? Fear of facing whatever you're avoiding by coping with food?

    You might see if there's anything useful at any of these sites.

    http://www.sirenabernal.com/3-hidden-reasons-why-you-self-sabotage-your-weight-loss-goals/
    http://www.mybodymyway.com/2012/11/why-do-you-self-sabotage/
    http://intentblog.com/8-signs-you-are-self-sabotaging-yourself-and-how-to-stop-the-cycle/

    Hope this helps. Dealing with any emotional ties to eating can be an arduous task. I'm a big fan of personal journaling (have been doing it myself for 30 years!) and maybe even therapy to help you get to the bottom of it.

    What else is going on in your life when you fall off that wagon?
  • DaniH826
    DaniH826 Posts: 1,335 Member
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    This may sound strange, but some folk are more afraid of success than failure. Cause let's face it, failure requires zero maintenance to live up to expectations.

    So maybe ask yourself: If/when I succeed with this, then what? Am I prepared to maintain whatever goal(s) I've set for myself and put in the work required to stay vigilant and disciplined?

    Truth is, we're all in control of our own decisions, and if we're adults then we are where we are by our own choice. Nobody makes changes unless what they're getting out of their current situation is no longer outweighing the drawbacks. I was just fine with the excess weight (to a point) if it could mean that I could eat whatever I want without giving it much thought and without having to get my butt up and exercising regularly. Until the day came that I had to face my own gluttonous ways and make a conscious decision to lay them down and move past them instead of waiting/searching for some "inner switch" to come on magically and somehow propel me from point A to point B. There is no such switch. Only decisions. Just like with everything else in life.

    You're not sabotaging yourself. You're consciously keeping yourself in a certain place that you're unwilling to move from for whatever reason. Find the reason and you'll have your answer. I use words like "self-sabotage" also but it's really not the case when we get completely honest with ourselves and realize we're adults in control of our own choices in life.
  • MichelleZannone
    MichelleZannone Posts: 121
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    Many of us do the same thing. To curb this behavior either buy healthier food to snack on like fruits or veggies. I buy those 80-140 cal. snack bars or portion out chips, cookies, crackers etc. in snack bags and remind yourself this is it for the day. Moderation is the key to success. Also reaching out for support like you already have done is proof in showing you want to make this change. It doesn't happen overnight so be patient with yourself and if you fall off one day tomorrow is always a new...Good luck to you, remember we are here to listen and support you on your journey...:smile:
  • MichelleZannone
    MichelleZannone Posts: 121
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    Many of us do the same thing. To curb this behavior either buy healthier food to snack on like fruits or veggies. I buy those 80-140 cal. snack bars or portion out chips, cookies, crackers etc. in snack bags and remind yourself this is it for the day. Moderation is the key to success. Also reaching out for support like you already have done is proof in showing you want to make this change. It doesn't happen overnight so be patient with yourself and if you fall off one day tomorrow is always a new...Good luck to you, remember we are here to listen and support you on your journey...:smile:
  • Kaylee_law_123
    Kaylee_law_123 Posts: 450 Member
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    I do the same thing, sometimes I think I do as I use my weight as an excuse so often ... "I'm feeling down/depressed etc BECAUSE I'm overweight" and I'm scared of the thought that I could be skinny and still feeling down/depressed and therefore I have to open the can of worms to figure out what's going on ...

    It also means I have a reason to avoid some things, and I'm scared of taking that reason away!
  • kcdavid
    kcdavid Posts: 1
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    So I can't begin to tell you how many times I have been up and down, but there is a comman thread here. In the past I always addressed the food and the exercise because that is the basic formula here 'diet and exercise'. It does work but what I and I'll bet most of you have not done is address the psycological reasons. Very often while trying to lose weight we feel deprived or hungery or sad or down or we want a reward etc... Im sure you all could name many more reasons behind the binge. So for me I am seeing a physical trainer, a nutritionist and a counciler. The time to address those bad feelings are when you have them not after the diet has failed. So far so good for me though I have just started. Hope this helps
  • jjeemmmc
    jjeemmmc Posts: 2 Member
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    Thanks so much everyone - I feel much better today and everything that you have commented on here makes sense. I think that I get caught up in searching for what the "issue" is that it fuels the problem. Once i accept that i have a choice in everything i do and if i don't want to do something anymore then i have the power to stop it then things seem easier. I just need to keep reminding myself of this when i am feeling low/ scared/ anxious and most importantly stressed and overwhelmed - this tends to be when most of the binging happens.

    Binging has been my coping mechanism for so long – which I know means that it’s going to be a slow process to change – but at the same time I don’t want that fact to keep me in a place that excuses the behaviour and allows it to continue if you know what I mean.

    I also think I try to be too good and strict and then when I have a small mouthful of something sweet, don’t plan my food the next day or stay from my food diary I freak out and go out of control – it’s this that I am going to try and work on and build more consistent positive habits rather than spending my time looking to justify and explain destructive negative ones.

    I hope that by me opening up I’ve made someone fell less alone as you all have done for me. Thank you.
  • Katiedcfc91
    Katiedcfc91 Posts: 5
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    I completely understand this as well. I've been going to the gym since November 2011 and it's only now that i'm finally starting to make serious changes. I probably lost a couple of pounds throughout the year but i always put it straight back on again at the weekend by "treating" myself. It's a horrible cycle and even now i'm afraid that i'll revert back to that. There is this twisted fear of success because being curvy (as my family call it) is all i've ever known and to try and picture a thinner version of myself still seems like something i could only dream about. To stop myself from going on chocolate binges i have these things called Special K biscuit moments or some kind of Special K bar, i know people say it's not diet food just because it's Special K, but it's better then eating a slab of chocolate and it helps me cope with cravings. It's been over 3 weeks now since i last had a proper bar of chocolate.

    I also get what you're saying about tyring to be too good & strict as well. I went crazy one year and lost a stone in a couple of months but i couldnt keep it up at all and piled it all back on. I hope you find ways to curb your binges and don't worry about making mistakes. I have to try and remember that this is for life and not a short term thing. :)

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