How to avoid hating myself?

For me weight loss definitely ebbs and flows. I became very emotional when I had been on a plateau for a month and a half, so I decided to switch things up and got a personal trainer to work on strength training with me.

I suffer from PCOS so it takes even longer to lose the weight, so sometimes when reading other's stories I would get frustrated hearing how other people would lose over 100 lbs in 8 months, where it took me 6 months to lose 30.

One of the best suggestions that I can give you is that as you lose weight begin to use weights that are representative of how much you've lost. My trainer made me wear a weighted vest that was 25 lbs and I had to run stairs with it on. It felt awful and I felt like I was just drowning in extra weight. That day totally reminded me why I've embarked on this journey, and know that it will take a long time but so much more worth it in the end.

I've hated myself, the way I've looked, and always felt uncomfortable in my body for way too long. I'm certainly not a size 0, and only a bit over half way to my goal weight, but I really am so much happier and content with myself.

Stick in there and take each day as it comes. It's great to plan ahead but if the plan fails, know that YOU have control over the decisions that you make that day. It makes this whole process much more manageable & less stressful!

Best of luck, and know that you can do it!

Eat more calories, lose gradually, you'll feel better. It will be easier to keep it off and you'll feel better about yourself long term. Best wishes.

You can't change your past, you can only change your future. Channel your feelings into doing something about it. If you need to, think, "I'm really ticked off the old me let this happen! Well I'm going to show the old me I'm better than that! I'm going to have big salad for lunch! I'm going to work out this afternoon, that will prove I'm better than the way things used to be!"

Congratulations on your 8 pound weight loss in only two weeks. You may have your expectations a bit too high if you are not happy with a 2 pound weight loss in one week. What motivates me is seeing the scale weight go down and being able to fit in smaller clothes and looking better than I did when I first started. You have to find for yourself what works for you. I can tell you all day long how you shouldn't hate yourself but that is a choice you have to make. You are doing a great job, just keep doing what you are doing for a long time and be patient. You can do this.

Trying not to hate myself is something I've struggled with my whole life. I've been convinced that I'm an overweight loser who can't do anything right for a good portion of my tween, teen and now adult years.

Then I realized something - no one else was telling me this anymore - *I* was. And I sat and thought for a bit and I realized that I am a great person. I bend over backwards for other people, I give and give and never ask for anything in return. Yes, I can get passive-aggressive, yes I'm a very sensitive person - but I have a lot more strengths than I do weaknesses. Taking control of my weight was something I decided to do to prove to myself that I can do it without the surgeries my family members have had. It was time to do something for me, instead of for anyone else.

Two pounds a week is a great number. 1200 calories a day is likely not nearly enough for you right now. I would try to look into that and make sure you're eating what is going to fuel your body and not some number that you think is going to be a quick fix. Good luck!!

I'd like to gently challenge your thinking.

Hate is such a strong work and ascribes such emotion and (forgive the pun) weight to actions. These actions in your past that have contributed to gaining weight DO NOT, in any way, reflect on who you are as a person or the QUALITY of your composition. We all do things that, in retrospect, we might do differently. All of those things weave together a beautiful tapestry of your life experiences and make you... YOU. That's not good, bad, evil, or heavenly. It just... IS.

Learn from your past choices. Reflect on what's worked for you, what hasn't, what you'd like to change, and where you want to be in a week, a month, a year, and in 5 years.

Think of advice you'd give your very best friend if she was telling you this. What would you say to her? Would you belittle, berate, or think less of her? Probably not. Be at least that gentle with yourself.

So, now is the time for change. TODAY is the day - the MINUTE - you can reassert control and work toward whatever vision you have for yourself. Those past choices, everything that has brought you to this moment, is a learning experience. Realize you DESERVE to be happy and healthy, and you have the power to go after it.

You can do this. You're worth it.

As for the pace you are losing, it sounds very reasonable. Remember this gain didn't occur in a week, and the weight isn't going to fall off in a week. And in fact, if it does, you may be setting yourself up for future failure. That kind of thinking suggests you may see lifestyle change as something temporary... one of those things that "I'll just follow this diet until I reach 'x' goal." While some people can have temporary weight loss success with that kind of goal, my personal belief is for long term success... you have to work to embrace this as your new way of life. With that in mind, you may want to look at your calorie goals again and make sure they make sense for sustained weight loss, that it's enough to give you the fuel you need and not make you feel deprived.

I appreciate your post and your honesty. I encourage you to try to objectively look at yourself and see everything you're doing RIGHT NOW that's RIGHT. Identify what you want to change, make a plan to achieve it... work that plan. When you stumble (which you will - we all do - know it, plan for it), don't let that derail you. Refocus and know it's all part of this journey.

My very best to you.

I think viewing this as a diet is a fundamental error many of us make. The word diet suggests and start and finish. You need to think of this as a lifestyle change. It is important to find foods and exercise fits your lifestyle and you enjoy. It will truly make the process a much smoother process. There are a number of good books that can help you fight off this problem too. Being happy and content is something you need to practice daily. It does make things better. I am not some self loving whackado either. I have a coach that has helped immensely with changing my mindset from a whiner complainer to someone that a very content happy guy that keeps marching forward every day.

Good luck