depressed.

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barbiexbeatdown
barbiexbeatdown Posts: 6
in Motivation and Support
ive lost 79 pounds so far since august 2012

i have another 48 pounds to lose till im deemed normal.

i know im overweight by a little bit. and being 5’2 doesnt help much.

but why the **** do i still feel morbidly obese/unattractive,unhealthy,ugly

aka the same.

depression sucks.

Replies

  • WallyGirl358
    WallyGirl358 Posts: 69
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    Focus on your accomplishment! It was a major one. You are more than 1/2 way to your goal so celebrate and focus on the finish line.
  • Anthonydaman
    Anthonydaman Posts: 854 Member
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    You have come sooo far, don't be depressed, revel in your triumph. 80lbs is a huge accomplishment
  • Bumdrahp
    Bumdrahp Posts: 1,314 Member
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    I 100% understand how you feel.

    I am 5'2.. still obese even after I have lost a total of 85 lbs.

    Everyone around me says the nicest, most amazing compliments I have EVER recieved.. but, I still have " fat girl brain".. I still think I am a huge girl..

    I mean, I don't beat myself up over it too much.. and you shouldn't either.. you're beautiful, and have made a huge acomplishment! Try to see the bright side! :flowerforyou:
  • juliebmomof3
    juliebmomof3 Posts: 115 Member
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    79 pounds is fricken amazing! I hope I can do as well as you have! Congratulations hun.
  • Eons44
    Eons44 Posts: 76 Member
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    you've done very well so far, and it doesn't matter if your not considered "normal".
    Why be normal when you can be you!
  • anifani4
    anifani4 Posts: 457 Member
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    You feel that way because it takes time for your brain to catch up to reality. You are totally awesome and YOU have to convince your brain of that. This is partly why having before and after photos is a help. Somehow seeing the change in the photo is much different from seeing yourself in the mirror and it registers in your brain that your body has changed. Hang in there and you will reach your ultimate goal of being a normal size.
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
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    Fantastic work on losing such an amount of weight x

    What weight are you now..do you really need to drop another 48lbs?

    Maybe you are setting your goals to high with the whole `normal` thing??

    The feelings you have about morbidly obese/ugly/unattractive may have nothing to do with your weight but the way that you feel about yourself...sometimes it is hard to get confidence back and see ourselves in the mirror in a different way.

    I hope you can adjust your mindset to go with your weight loss....it is just as important
  • leslieschoenle
    leslieschoenle Posts: 47 Member
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    you have lost that much weight in only 6 months! don't be depressed, keep your head up! not too many people can work as hard as you obviously have! your a very strong person... KUDOS!
  • JonathanBB
    JonathanBB Posts: 252 Member
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    You have accomplished so much. You had something about yourself you didn't like and wanted to improve and rather than ***** and moan, you have done something about it. As for ygly, um, hate to break the news to you, but you have a beautiful face and I am willing to bet you have a smile that could light up a city. Hang in there. How about doing some exercises and get those endorphens kicking in.
  • petstorekitty
    petstorekitty Posts: 592 Member
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    It's called former fatty syndrome.

    we see ourselves every day and don't take into account now versus then.

    take the time to notice how you are versus how you were and how oether people notice you.
    take a break and get used to where you are now. Your opinion of yourself will change.

    I was a size 18. I'm now a size 4. It took an adjustment period of about a year and a lot of making peace with my body to get comfortable with that.
  • JonathanBB
    JonathanBB Posts: 252 Member
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    Why be normal when you can be you!

    Excellent. Wish I had said that!!
  • morticiamom
    morticiamom Posts: 221 Member
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    Yes it does. When you're depressed, the lens through which you're looking at yourself is distorted. You have a pathological critic in your head, bullying you. People have advised me over the years to use 'affirmation' type statements, but those never worked for me, it was too easy to disregard them as Stuart Smalley psychobabble.

    For me, things changed when someone pointed out that the distorted self view was not just wrong because it was 'mean', but because it wasn't RATIONAL.

    Ever since then, I've countered the pathological critic, I counter it with rational statements of fact (and yes, they always do end up being in Mr. Spock's voice.)

    How that would happen if I were in your situation would be:

    Me: *looks in mirror and feels bad because pathological critic is making me seem 'gross' to myself*
    Mr. Spock: "Irrational captain, you have lost 79 pounds through discipline; ergo you are strong, and hard-working, not gross."

    Such things require practice and repetition, and they aren't a cure, they just take the edge off. If it helps, great! If it doesn't, it's not your fault, it's just not the right prescription for you.
  • barbiexbeatdown
    barbiexbeatdown Posts: 6
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    yeah, thanks for all the lovely words. very kind.

    its not so much about the diet itself. things have changed in my mindset like the way i think about food, i totally get i dont have an amazing metabolism compared to others, and will have to watch what i eat from now on, that doesnt bother me, but i have no clue how to adjust how i feel about myself.

    i know i have lost some weight
    but as its happend gradually, i honestly feel just as big as i started.

    weightloss is super easy.
    its sorting the stuff that comes after it that is the hard bit.
  • lawkat
    lawkat Posts: 538 Member
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    Are you seeing anyone or taking any medication for your depression?

    It is great that you have lost the weight, but you have to believe that it is a great thing. What I had to do was let go of the pity party in my head. When you start hearing that voice saying you are fat and ugly and not good enough, tell yourself that that is just not true. It is hard at first, but if you do it enough, you won't have those negative thoughts. Also, don't sit there and wallow in your depression. That is really bad. I used to do that. I find that if I get busy and stop the negative thinking, I feel better.

    One final thing, do you work out? i find that working out helps my mood so much. The past 2 weeks I haven't been able to run due to an injury. My mood was slowly going downhill. Now that I have started again, I feel a thousand times better. You would be surprised at how much working out, especially cardio can help your mood.

    Best of luck.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    ive lost 79 pounds so far since august 2012

    i have another 48 pounds to lose till im deemed normal.

    i know im overweight by a little bit. and being 5’2 doesnt help much.

    but why the **** do i still feel morbidly obese/unattractive,unhealthy,ugly

    aka the same.

    depression sucks.

    You have accomplished more than most who battle their weight. That is amazing! And I totally understand feeling depressed that there is more to go, but you should have confidence that you will complete your goal seeing what you have already done.
  • iLoveMyPitbull1225
    iLoveMyPitbull1225 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    you are beautiful and have accomplished a lot girl! you should be super proud of yourself! At the same time, I do know how you feel. I have lost a fair amount but I still have really negative body image issues. Its something we drill into our brains that brings down our self esteem so much that its hard to break ourselves of the habits. I know its easier said than done (because like I said I do the same thing to myself) but try to be proud of the amazing things you have accomplished and try to let it motivate you towards even greater successes :)
  • Chantellewills
    Chantellewills Posts: 8
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    You have achieved so much and come so far but the journey is not over yet, you need to take things in small steps.

    I read an article a few month ago about an interview with Dawn French (a British actress who was a larger than life lady if you didn't know) she talked about her recent weight loss (cant remember how much she lost but it was a lot) She talk about how it felt like losing half of herself as she had always been big. She talked about how hard it was, adjusting to this new person she saw in the mirror and how she didn't recognize her. But she did come to terms with it and so will you.
    A good trick I was taught a long time ago by a counselor when I was really struggling with my own demons, self hate, loathing, couldn't even look at myself in a mirror, he taught me to take things in small steps.
    First I had to say out loud five times every night that "I like who I am", (out loud so that I could hear it). The next step when ready was to look into a mirror and say "I like who I am, there's thing I will change but I'm happy with what I see" focusing on the things that I liked about myself.
    I felt like a complete idiot at the time and really felt like giving up, but as I time went on it got easier and I started to change my focus and strangely enough it did start to give me confidence and I am now able to look in a mirror, there are still things about me I need to change, my weight is still and issue and I will always have to fight that battle but I'm winning and so can you.
    Keep going at the end of the day YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,472 Member
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    well holy crap,,, you should be very proud with how much you have already lost!
    you should be bouncing off the walls with your success so far!
    it all takes time
    does not happen overnight.
    chin up, and keep going!
  • slimgurl13
    slimgurl13 Posts: 22
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    gurl you are gorgeoous and NOWHERE near mobidly obese!! Be proud of what u have accomplished so far, i would kill to lose 79 lbs right now(welll...not really lol) but u get the point!

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