Obsessed?

this mindset of "I can't do anything until I reach my goals" and "I'm not good enough yet" is not healthy at all. Revenge dieting... well I don't see what's wrong with that provided it's not your *only* motivation, because that would result in you giving up when you get that revenge and not progressing any further. Angry workouts are great, it's a healthy way to deal with anger. Just make sure there's enough of you motivating yourself to do this because you value yourself and know you deserve to be healthy and look good, so that will keep you motivated through everything else.

Regarding the "I can't do anything until..." and "I'm not good enough..." you need to get yourself out of this mindset, because no matter how fit or lean you get, you won't be perfect. Even the top fitness models can still tell you things about their bodies that they want to improve. Photos of them are often airbrushed a little too, because they're not perfect. There's no such thing as a perfect human being or perfect body and there never will be. So with this mindset which is basically "I can't do anything until I'm perfect; I'm not good enough unless I'm perfect" is setting yourself up to never get there and never feel that you're worthy or good enough. I really strongly advise you to learn how to value yourself and to realise that you ARE good enough, and you CAN do what you want, you DON'T have to wait until you're perfect, no-one is perfect. Learn to love and value yourself now, realise that you ARE good enough, and then your motivation to get fit and eat healthy will come from knowing that you deserve to be healthy and you deserve to look good, because you already are good enough.... Start with how you talk to yourself, i.e. be positive and encouraging, push yourself and challenge yourself, but do that through positive languauge. Tell yourself you ARE good enough and you deserve to be fit, healthy and to look good.

.....hope that makes sense.

The size of your body does not determine whether or not you are "good enough." I have heard from people who have lost a large amount of weight who still don't love themselves or are satisfied with their bodies even when reaching their goals. Weight loss is both a physical and emotional journey and regardless of what the scale tells you, you need to learn how to love yourself. Sometimes that means going to talk to someone in some sort of counseling session. Remember, you are AMAZING!