Is Online dating the next step for me?

trying2findmyway
trying2findmyway Posts: 31
in Chit-Chat
I've been single for a while and I wouldn't say I'm at the point where I'm desperate to find someone... I
m just blah. There's not much going on in my city..... no youth groups or anything that you think would be an idle place ot meet someone. I go to 3 different gyms........ and it has to be my surroundings. I don't have a huge group of friends and I can be on the shy side. People will stare at me but never approach me. I've been told I'm beautiful and etc.

I guess maybe I'll try online dating?
I kow if I told my mother she would nag me down like crazy.

What are some decent sites? any new sites that aren't really a dating site but a good place to meet people in your area?
(besides meetup.com... seems cool but I don't want to go alone :()

I want things to change ..... I just have no idea what to do. Please help
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Replies

  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    beautiful eye by the way it looks like the gif i used to have for my website.

    match.com used to be pretty good. my friend wanted to meet someone like that but a guy i chose for her there ended up becoming my husband. the questions were pretty thorough and good eval of whether someone is dating for serious or just hanging out. hope people will chime in for you because it's not as scary as it could be but you have to proceed cautiously. like take proper steps for safety and your own sanity juggling different people. you know?
  • lovelyMYlovely
    lovelyMYlovely Posts: 1,066 Member
    love happens when you least expect it... just wait and it will magically happen! seriously whenever people look for it it barely comes or points them in the wrong direction as their soulmate...

    it will happen.. dating sites are not great alot of the guys are already in relationships when they go there.. but my friend is on plentyoffish and she likes it :)
  • CurvaciousBeautyToBe
    CurvaciousBeautyToBe Posts: 100 Member
    I personally rather meet someone online then at a bar these days.
  • Xiaolongbao
    Xiaolongbao Posts: 854 Member
    love happens when you least expect it... just wait and it will magically happen! seriously whenever people look for it it barely comes or points them in the wrong direction as their soulmate...

    Possible the worst, most cliched, advice ever.

    Why not try it, what do you have to lose? Go for the free sites first. Plentyoffish. Okcupid. Possibly others where you live.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    I think doing it via dating websites is the wrong approach. I have dated online and each time it was when I least expected it and on a community forum. Instead of the instant pressure of trying to decide if someone is an acceptable mate, you get to know the persons personality first and then the flirting and romantic things come after.
  • itsjustdawn
    itsjustdawn Posts: 1,073 Member
    Be careful, especially on the free dating sites - guys (and girls) are often times on there to get laid. Not all, but many. Other than that, I prefer dating sites over bars myself. I've been on PlentyofFish since like 2009. Met my ex on there (he met his current wife on there after we split.. and then ended up on Bridezillas). It can't hurt to set up a profile :-)
  • lovelyMYlovely
    lovelyMYlovely Posts: 1,066 Member
    love happens when you least expect it... just wait and it will magically happen! seriously whenever people look for it it barely comes or points them in the wrong direction as their soulmate...

    Possible the worst, most cliched, advice ever.

    Why not try it, what do you have to lose? Go for the free sites first. Plentyoffish. Okcupid. Possibly others where you live.
    idk fate always brings me to MY destiny... for u it may not work but for me it ALWAYS does :)
  • triciab79
    triciab79 Posts: 1,713 Member
    I have a friend on Match and it is heavily weighted towards looks. People don't even read the profiles at all. They just look at the pictures and decide. Its the opposite of the way you should try to pic a mate. I encouraged her to join but I regret it now. She only wants to look at the hottest guys and they only wanna look at the hottest girls and everyone down the middle just gets disappointed.
  • lexif14
    lexif14 Posts: 23
    I met my fiancee through match.com 3 years ago he actually lived in a town 100kms away from me. I liked it and it worked for me... obviously lol. I lived in a very touristy town at the time and it was very hard to meet people that were local or staying there long term. My advice is to give it a go after all its mostly free and there is never any harm in trying
  • jamiem1102
    jamiem1102 Posts: 1,196 Member
    I personally liked OKCupid. It's free and fun. There are a lot of fun (and ridiculous) quizzes on the site too. The guys that created the site are also the originators of Spark Notes... and they're all MIT & Harvard mathematicians and developers that figured out the algorithms for the site. Really smart guys.

    However, in my opinion, online dating is just as hard as regular dating and takes a lot of patience.... but the way I see it, at least you can go through all the introductory hassle in the comfort of your pajamas or whatever without having to deal with an entire date. Also, being a woman, you're at an advantage, because most likely your mailbox will get flooded and you'll have to do very little searching. Then again, I wrote to my man first... so... you know... *shrug* We've been together about 3 years now. :) I've met some cool friends along the way on that site as well.

    Good luck!
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    love happens when you least expect it... just wait and it will magically happen! seriously whenever people look for it it barely comes or points them in the wrong direction as their soulmate...

    Possible the worst, most cliched, advice ever.

    Why not try it, what do you have to lose? Go for the free sites first. Plentyoffish. Okcupid. Possibly others where you live.

    i know right. i know many many many women in their 30's and 40's who are single because they followed this type of advice.

    th truth is for most people if you arent paying attention to it and putting energy into it then you arent manifesting it.

    OP in addition to online dating you can also try sites like meetup.com where you can join groups based on your interest.
  • lisa4you143
    lisa4you143 Posts: 49 Member
    You should definitely try online dating! I have several friends who have tried it and two are in serious relationships from it... actually one got engaged last weekend! They were on match and okcupid.... I heard plenty of fish can be kind of skeezy and people just there to hook up. I know what you mean, it's hard to meet people! My days consists of work, working out, and may errands and then my weekends I go out with friends. Where are single people supposed to meet?! I've met people at bars but nothing has ever really seriously worked out and plus I'm trying to stay away from the bar scene and focus on a more active lifestyle. Haha maybe I should try online dating?! I think I might have just convinced myself lol
  • lisa4you143
    lisa4you143 Posts: 49 Member
    To add to my comment... I know what you mean about needing a change. Sometimes we get ourselves stuck in a rut of doing the same thing every single day with nothing different, we start feeling uninspired. In addition to possibly online dating maybe you can mix things up a bit in your life! Go on a mini vacation, take a fun class at a community college (ceramics, floral design, etc) or possibly just treat yourself to a shopping spree or hair cut. Lately I've been thinking about going back to school to get my masters and possibly looking for a new job. Changing for the better is always good!
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,234 Member
    I'm about to marry the love of my life, found on PlentyofFish.com

    I had moved to a new city and really just wanted to meet some people and go on some dates. Never expected to meet my best friend and most amazing man ever :)
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    MFP is the best dating site I've tried.. ..
  • gerard54
    gerard54 Posts: 1,107 Member
    I'd say drink more and smile at ppl at the bar...
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
    Try plentyoffish.com. Found my fiance there.
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
    Meetup actually isn't as scary as it sounds. I went to a Meetup alone, and found everyone to be very nice and friendly... plus I've found a few dates through there.

    I'm also on OkCupid, and while there are some creepers on there, you can find decent people. Most of the people I've corresponded with on there, have contacted me, instead of the other way around.
  • ashpash1000
    ashpash1000 Posts: 6
    I met my current partner on plentyoffish amd we've been together over a year. You will get a lot of sleazy comments and messages but you just have to wittle down the ones worth your time. I was so busy with work that i made my bf wait a month to meet me from the moment he asked. Not sure hed wait around but talking everyday etc meant we got to know each other and that nothing physical could ruin it before it got started.

    They are good if you take the time to get to know people first. Those looking for a relationship will stick around, the others wont wait and will move on to the next easy girl. Good luck x
  • gym_king_carlie
    gym_king_carlie Posts: 528 Member
    nothing wrong with online dating, I wouldnt use it myself but thats because I live by the ''dont look for something that will find you'' rule, Many of my friends have had successful relationships via the internet

    doubters will say they can pretend to be anyone online but a person can pretend to be anyone in the flesh, good luck :)
  • bandedsandi
    bandedsandi Posts: 122 Member
    I don't believe in the success of dating sites. If it has worked for you, I'm happy for you, but I've had only bad experiences on them! I have been on different dating sites since 2006. Met the weirdest bunch of guys that i could ever have imagined... but each to his own I suppose. :huh:

    I'm currently on Christian Dating for Free - open season for scammers! This morning I got a message from an Australian guy saying: 'Amazing! That you'd even think a fit, healthy, handsome man would be interested in an overweight person such as yourself...!' Nice eh? Very Christian... :noway:

    I'll just go hide in a corner now and cry silent tears. :cry:

    I suppose I'm just meant to be single. :drinker:
  • Maris_Swan
    Maris_Swan Posts: 197 Member
    I'd say go for it. I felt this way in the spring of 2011 and finally went for it and joined eharmony. I had lost a lot of weight and just found it hard to meet people. First date, after a week of being on the site, I met the man that turned out to be the one I'd be spending the rest of my life with! We are getting married this fall. Take a chance, you never know unless you get out there and try it! Best of luck :)
  • lisa4you143
    lisa4you143 Posts: 49 Member
    I don't believe in the success of dating sites. If it has worked for you, I'm happy for you, but I've had only bad experiences on them! I have been on different dating sites since 2006. Met the weirdest bunch of guys that i could ever have imagined... but each to his own I suppose. :huh:

    I'm currently on Christian Dating for Free - open season for scammers! This morning I got a message from an Australian guy saying: 'Amazing! That you'd even think a fit, healthy, handsome man would be interested in an overweight person such as yourself...!' Nice eh? Very Christian... :noway:

    I'll just go hide in a corner now and cry silent tears. :cry:

    I suppose I'm just meant to be single. :drinker:

    Awww forget about him!!! People like him feel like they are gods gift to mandkind. You are bettering yourself and trying to accomplish your goals and that in itself is attractive to people. To purposely go out of his way to put you down just shows what kind of a person he truly is and you don't want to be around that anyways! "Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and the thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see greatness within you, even when you don't see it yourself" Kinda cheesy I know but it's a good reminder of the kind of people you need to be looking for, and push every one else who doesn't fit that criteria out of your mind :)
  • Gallowmere1984
    Gallowmere1984 Posts: 6,626 Member
    I personally rather meet someone online then at a bar these days.

    Most definitely. My boss has a habit of picking up 'bar *kitten*', and that man has had more shots of penicillin than I've drank cups of coffee. Blech.
  • mrowrmeowmrowr
    mrowrmeowmrowr Posts: 288 Member
    If you are having trouble meeting someone, online dating is definitely a good approach.

    Starting with the free ones is a good option. I met my long-term boyfriend off OKcupid. I hear good things from plenty of fish, too.
  • ChrisinGA
    ChrisinGA Posts: 116 Member
    met my current gf on plentyoffish been 4 yrs now.
    Online only way for me cause i am so shy
  • fara180
    fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
    stay away from online dating. it will make you jaded and sick.
  • KainStar
    KainStar Posts: 197
    That just depends on you. You just gotta be careful. I'm a worry wart. If I were single I'd be scared too. Just because you truly don't know who you are talking to. Anyone can put a picture and name and say its them. I wish you the best of luck hun!
  • hemlock2010
    hemlock2010 Posts: 422 Member
    I know this is old school, but lots of people still meet while volunteering at animal shelters, working as a docent at a museum, getting involved with the local music or theatre scene or community groups like young professionals, joining a food coop or a sustainability circle, joining a club, or taking a class.
  • baileysmom4
    baileysmom4 Posts: 242 Member
    You will definitely meet a lot of scammers, people wanting hook ups or FWB (friends with benefits) and mean people. But, if you search thru the crud, you may meet the best thing that ever happened to you. That's what happened to me! I'm engaged to a man I met 2 years ago on match.com. We have a great life and wonderful home. Couldn't ask for more!

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