Help please? Ready to give up :(

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shazz88
shazz88 Posts: 28
in Motivation and Support
Hi everyone, I dont normally talk to people about stuff like this but I think I could use some help. Im 24 and my SW was 266lbs Im down 11lbs but that all happened in the first 2 weeks of Jan and Ive lost nothing since :( I really feel like Im ready to quit it all. I cant find the motivation to keep going, its really bad because doing it because of my kids doesnt get me going. My mum even tried, she said if I can lose 35lbs by end of April (my bday) which was only 2lb a week plus and extra 4lbs, she would give me £200, just hand it over. Then another one, if I could have 66lbs, to get me at the 200lb mark, off by July she would buy me all my holiday clothes, I really love 50's swing dresses atm! Shes gone out of her way to help me and half the time I cba to do anything :( I want to lose the weight, I want to wear pretty clothes and be happy and healthy for my kids, teach them the right ways to eat etc, I spend most the time imagining what Id look like or how amazing it would feel to not be ashamed of what Im wearing and how I look but nothing worknig for me :( Anyone else stuck in a rut or been through any of this?
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Replies

  • DanielleHinkle24
    DanielleHinkle24 Posts: 29 Member
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    Hang in there! Try to stick with it, you will be so glad you did. It is so frustrating when the scale gets stuck and doesn't move. Consider changing your eating and/or exercising routine to jump start your body's metabolism. You can do it!!!!
  • shazz88
    shazz88 Posts: 28
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    I added more exercise last week, quite abit more seems as the first 2 weeks I didnt do anything, Ive tried new things aswell like aqua aerobics and circuit training and nothing. I know what I need to do and how to do it I just dont seem to be able to make myself move to do it :cry:
  • DaniH826
    DaniH826 Posts: 1,335 Member
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    What specifically are you ready to give up? Getting healthier? Counting calories?

    Getting healthier is a lifetime commitment. So maybe focus on that. You'll feel better in return which may encourage you to move more. Also congrats on the 11 lb weight loss. Are you following the MFP calorie suggestions? Are you eating enough or starving yourself?

    Cause honestly if I was starving myself for weeks below the nutrition my body needs without seeing results, I'd want to quit too.

    So maybe reevaluate what you're doing, come up with a better plan that's more realistic for you, focus on the long term instead of this week's weight loss, and make some lifestyle changes that stick.
  • DanielleHinkle24
    DanielleHinkle24 Posts: 29 Member
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    It has to be very frustrating knowing that you increased your ixercise and still didn't have great results. I am 48 years old and have had food issues my whole life. I've had many years of guilt and have avoided many social situations becasue I didn't like how I looked. For me, I have to be very careful with the types of food I eat. I have completely cut out sugar (even artificial), products with gluten, and dairy. I basically follow a paleo style eating plan. It was very hard fro me at first because I LOVE carbs (breads, pasta, rice, sweets, etc) however I have noticed that when I do not eat these things, I don't crave them. I don't pay so much attention to the calories I eat each day as long as I am eating the right kinds of foods. I am not perfect by any means - I ate a bunck of chocolate candy on Valentine's day. But on Feb. 15 - I was back to the old paleo style eating plan. I guess I just tell myself that I am in control and that if I really want to eat those other things, I can - I am just choosing not to. Stick with it....you can do it!!!! You are worth it :flowerforyou:
  • Schellsisbacktoattack
    Schellsisbacktoattack Posts: 60 Member
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    Yes, I have totally felt that way... that's why it is so hard to keep going. you are not alone. It does suck...but what helps me is to think of how great I feel just after working out. it is really difficult, cause it's not only a change of eating habits and exercise, but a change of your whole life style, and mind set. In order to lose weight you can not be lazy. For me.... I tend to want to be lazy because I get stressed, or overwhelmed lately with school and it emotionally wears me not. It is always a struggle, BUT you have to just keep with it. everyday is a new day and a new beginning to our new life's. :flowerforyou: Don't give up....reach deep inside of you and try to pull out your inner confidence to succeed. Just know you are not alone....you can add me as your friend if you'd like. Take care,

    Schellie:flowerforyou:
  • otrlynn
    otrlynn Posts: 273 Member
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    Well, nobody can really motivate you but you! Although your mother's offer is generous, I think that putting a "deadline" on your weight reduction goal may be unrealistic. There are weeks that you will lose a couple of pounds, and then there are weeks that you stay "stuck". You can either live with the way you are, or establish healthy eating and exercise habits. In the long run, it really doesn't make a difference if it takes you a year to lost the weight that you want to, or it takes you two years. It does take considerable effort to get off the couch and go take a brisk walk, or go to an exercise class. Try to find something that you like (or at least that you don't hate) and commit yourself to doing it even if you don't feel like it. It does take a while to establish new habits and until your new lifestyle becomes a habit--it does take effort. It gets easier though--I know from experience. Signed, a former couch potato...
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,871 Member
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    OP...what is the calorie goal MFP gave you? Are you eating back exercise calories? MFP's calorie goal already includes a substantial deficit in it to lose weight. If you are doing a lot of exercising but not fueling the exercise, you create an even bigger deficit...sounds good right? Wrong...not good...too large a deficit does the exact opposite of what you intend. Instead of using your fat stores for energy, your body slows metabolism and starts storing when you are at too large a deficit. That's one possibility.

    Another possibility...do you weigh and measure everything and I mean everything that goes into your mouth. Calorie creep is common and way too easy to do when you don't weigh and measure everything. It doesn't take much calorie creep to stall progress. Just as an example, I have these nuts I like to eat...they're 260 calories per 1 Oz serving...so if I was just eyeballing and ended up with 1.5 oz of nuts, but I log it as 1 Oz...right there I've got myself 130 calorie creep. For me, that's a big deal because I'm on a rather small deficit...it's about half of my deficit.
  • shazz88
    shazz88 Posts: 28
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    I do follow MFP calorie amounts and log everything I eat, I dont starve myself I am always near enough on my target. Its just a giving up on everything really, I now its a life time thing and I suppose it scares me a little knowing that Ive got to do this or be like this forever and the fact its going to get alot harder before it gets easier.

    DHIN46- I think its my foods too, I do love my carbs and try to stick with having 1 set in the am so that I have to day to burn them off. I have noticed if Im feeling emotional all I want is carbs, its like I crave them and only them, lol. I wouldnt be able to give them up as Id still need them in the house for the kids, we have changed to half and half bread, my daughter refused to eat wholemeal bread so we comprimised. Also have wholemeal pittas, wraps, pasta and rice. I think i need your mind set, kind of an 'ok so today wasnt a good day but tomorrow i will make it better' sort of thing, like one day at a time i suppose.

    I think I made it harder on myself by quitting smoking at the same time. After working out I do feel great, achey and knackered, but like Im doing something good, I just need to kick myself up the *kitten* and get moving more I suppose :smile: thank you all xx
  • shazz88
    shazz88 Posts: 28
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    I got 1410 cals and I dont eat back my exercise calories because I know MFP calorie burns are alot higher than what they actually are but I dont have anything to measure my burn with. Nopes, I dont weight out everything I have, I ould be getting some calorie creep going on then aswell, thank you

    I think thats the main thing, I dont want this to go on for years, I cant have it going on for years, I would hate it. Im not looking for a quick fix atall but a year tops, I couldnt cope if it went on for longer than that. I enjoy working out, it is the getting off my *kitten* bit that im struggling with. Doing it myself aswell, if my mum or friends invite me to do a workout with hem I'll go do it, but when its up to me its always I don need to do it now i'll do it later, then the kids are home from school so its i'll do it when they're in bed but then its i'll do it tomorrow first thing and then I dont get up early enough. I need to break that cycle I think. :smile:
  • DanielleHinkle24
    DanielleHinkle24 Posts: 29 Member
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    Wow! Congrats on quitting smoking!! I am sure that is part of the reason you are struggling with the weight loss. My family does not eat completely the same way I do. My kids still eat bread, carbs, and such but I definitely try to stay away from them. I've been through many years of different diets, eating plans, etc but this really is the only thing that works for me. I checked out "Practical Paleo" from the library to get me started. There are also may many websites for clean eating or paleo style eating. In the beginning, I told myself I would commit to eating in this manner for 30 days. My 30 days ended on Feb 2nd. I am still following it because I feel so much better. I am trying to focus on how I feel and making this a lifestyle change. I feel confident the weight loss will follow however I am trying not to focus on the scale (as hard as it is).

    Here are some web sites I like:
    http://everydaypaleo.com/
    http://paleomg.com/
    http://nomnompaleo.com/
    http://whole9life.com/category/whole-30/

    Hang tough! You can reach your goals :flowerforyou:
  • SueFromRI
    SueFromRI Posts: 206 Member
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    ...its really bad because doing it because of my kids doesn't get me going.

    Do it for yourself, not someone else!
    Not your kids, not your Mum, not the doctor.
    Do you truly want to be healthy? Do you want to enjoy time with your family? Yes or No!
    Yes? There's your motivation.
    No? There's your problem.

    Want to get a serving size lesson? Go pour yourself a bowl of cereal. Don't read on until you pour the bowl of cereal - or choose any other simple meal you eat.

    Got it poured?

    Here's the lesson. Now measure it. How many cups of cereal did you pour? (or other food) Now check the box. How many servings did you pour that you are recording as one? Try this with any / all your recurring meals. You will learn where these hidden calories are coming from and your weaknesses lie.
  • aleon1737
    aleon1737 Posts: 1
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    11 pounds is so great! Congrats! I agree w/ others posts...change your food plan and don't under eat. Remember that Love is the most important thing in life and we need to love ourselves no matter where we are on the scale. I for one don't want to give up. I don't want to have a hard time climbing the stairs. I want to feel healthy and have a bounce in my step for me not anyone else. I have days where I am just wanting to give up....it's all too hard....but staying in the hell of the yoyo is not a cycle that I want to continue. For Today YOU can do it!:heart::heart:
  • shazz88
    shazz88 Posts: 28
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    I know my portion sizes, I have cut them right down to what they are supposed to be. the stuff i dont measure is the handful of sweetcorn or lettuce, the few slices of cucumber, I tend to guess on them. I measure out cereal, meats, pasta stuff that to me is the important things to measure to calculate to amount in a meal, I measure the whole meal and split it into equal portions, I do all this.

    Thank you, quitting smoking has been hard, makes me want to pick at food or something, but I smoked because I was bored and I was hoping to replace that with exercise, hasnt happened yet but Im still holding out hoping it will do. Thank you, I'll give these sites a look x
  • otrlynn
    otrlynn Posts: 273 Member
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    Do hang in there! I would encourage you to eat back at least half of the exercise calories that you "earn". I have read that MFP's estimates are generous also--but interestingly after buying a heartrate monitor, I found that MFP's calories-burned estimates are not that far off (at least for me)--no more than 25% higher than what my HRM says. Also, for me, getting to eat those exercise calories back is a big motivator. I know that when I exercise, I can eat a bit more. Regarding when you exercise, it sounds like maybe you need to find some "no excuses" time to exercise. For me, I go to the gym on the way home from work because I know that I'll never get myself back out of the house to do it. For many people, just getting it done early in the day is the best way to go. Could you sign up for a morning exercise class somewhere, after the kids leave for school? The fact that you spent money to take the class may be somewhat of a motivator.

    I have lost weight (between .5 and .7 pounds a week) eating a diet that includes a variety of foods. I did change my macros to 40% carbs, 30% protein, and 30% fat because I feel better eating more protein. I love carbs too; I don't exclude them, I just eat less of them than I used to.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    Weight loss is not linear. The amount of weight you should be losing is an average over the course of a month. In a month you should be losing approximately 8 lbs, if you are eating your exercise calories back.

    Sounds like you are almost where you should be. Eat those calories back. You'll be fine.
  • healthyformeanMona
    healthyformeanMona Posts: 143 Member
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    Glad you shared. Hang in there---- just think, when April comes, you will be 2 months older regardless of whta you do. Might as well make it count. And like that one person said, if it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you. You have the power to do this.
  • DivaDodgeComingThru
    DivaDodgeComingThru Posts: 3 Member
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    OP...what is the calorie goal MFP gave you? Are you eating back exercise calories? MFP's calorie goal already includes a substantial deficit in it to lose weight. If you are doing a lot of exercising but not fueling the exercise, you create an even bigger deficit...sounds good right? Wrong...not good...too large a deficit does the exact opposite of what you intend. Instead of using your fat stores for energy, your body slows metabolism and starts storing when you are at too large a deficit. That's one possibility.

    Another possibility...do you weigh and measure everything and I mean everything that goes into your mouth. Calorie creep is common and way too easy to do when you don't weigh and measure everything. It doesn't take much calorie creep to stall progress. Just as an example, I have these nuts I like to eat...they're 260 calories per 1 Oz serving...so if I was just eyeballing and ended up with 1.5 oz of nuts, but I log it as 1 Oz...right there I've got myself 130 calorie creep. For me, that's a big deal because I'm on a rather small deficit...it's about half of my deficit.

    are you sure? MFP gave me 1200 calories a day and i'm a somewhat active 63" 140 female. it gave my FIL 1250 cal/day and he's 70" 190lbs. seems way low to what i'm seeing other places...
  • arnfolly
    arnfolly Posts: 79 Member
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    try to change your focus on the short term goal to the long term goal. Evenif you do not lose right away or hit a platueau, remember that you will FEEL better for your healthy choices and exercise. I still have 20# to lose and know how you feel. I made a mental note the other morning how GOOD I felt with my recent choices and light exercise routine compared to when I ate junk food all the time and did not drink my water. THAT is what I focus on when I am frustrated at my standing weight. HOpefully that will help you too!
  • shazz88
    shazz88 Posts: 28
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    Tbh Ive never checked the . numbers on my weight, maybe I should start doing that. I do want to get my workout done early in the day, once Ive took the kid to school.

    At 2lb a week I am on target yes but its more the scale hasnt moved in 4 weeks now. Im fine with losing 2lb a week, aslong as I am actually doing that.

    Thinking long term scares the crap outta me, I cant do it. I do feel great when I get going, very achey and tend to injury my thigh or calf muscle quite easily and do get shin splints but I can work through them. Water has always come easy to me, I love drinking water and always have. I have ate junk over the last few days and when walking up to the top of the hill to go shop I felt like I was dragging myself and it was horrible how stopping for a few days had put me back to how I felt. I do need to get going again.
  • Peanutbutterx
    Peanutbutterx Posts: 332
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    First of all, dont be ashamed! you look like a very beautiful girl with two adorable kids that love you and a mom that loves you :) loosing alot of weight at first n then getting to a point where your doing the same thing and then it stops is frustrating, but it happens. your body gets to a "plateu" where it will stabilize for a week or two and then you will start loosing weight again. dont give up! you can do it, you are doing it! as long as you are eating healthy foods, staying within your calorie limit, and having light exercise (with two kids, i imagine thats a lot of exercise!) you will be fine! remember: the point in loosing weight is to be healthy, and by eating healthier you are being healthy! the weight will come off in time, it takes time! you didnt put it on over night so it wont come off overnight either.. you have to give yourself some time! dont think of it as just a "diet" but a lifestyle change.. just keep going and dont get discouraged, take care and God bless! :)

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