Need advice? :/

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So, story (in short): I joined a gym last April and got on board for the whole healthy/fitness thing, but I gave up after 5 months because I saw NO progress. No scale victories, inches, nothing. You can't tell me that I should've "pushed through it" because how would YOU feel without any progress after that period of time? Anyway, so, I had surgery later in the year, and have yet to go back to the gym, though I've been allowed to go back for a good 4 months now.

The problem is that I'm horribly worried that I'll do it again and I won't see any progress again. I want to try calorie counting, but I get so stressed and worried about the whole thing that I don't start. I'm a freshman in university and all this added stress is getting to me. I just want everything to be sorted out. I want to be a better, healthier version of myself and I'm afraid I'll never get there.

I need any advice. :/

Replies

  • CristinaL1983
    CristinaL1983 Posts: 1,119 Member
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    My university has a wellness center that offers all kinds of services from full body DXA scans (to check bone density and body fat percentage and muscle mass) to nutritionists who work with students for cheap and everything in between.

    Check and see if your university has one. It could make your life a lot easier.

    Why not just start counting calories without setting goals or anything just to get in the habit of it and see where you are with what you are consuming. The MFP phone app is awesome (barcode scanner to add foods into your diary).

    Think of the gym as a way to get yourself healthier and fitter even if you don't lose weight (which you won't without a good diet to go along with it). Find exercise that you enjoy and stick with it. I like that 45-60 minutes because it gives me a break from studying/work/etc... without feeling guilty (like I should be doing something else) it also makes my mood better and helps me feel like I can do a bit more. Find an exercise you enjoy (I enjoy lifting weights).

    Seriously, check if your university has a wellness center you can walk by between a couple classes.
  • eberlenuge
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    Thank you, but mine doesn't have one of those. :/ I'm just struggling to start this journey again without being overwhelmed and feeling scared of the whole thing. Every calorie site has told me to eat 1600-1700 calories to lose weight, but I honestly can't eat that much, and I don't want to end up in a plateau for eating too little, which is maybe what happened last time. I just honestly need help in the right direction.
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
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    Thank you, but mine doesn't have one of those. :/ I'm just struggling to start this journey again without being overwhelmed and feeling scared of the whole thing. Every calorie site has told me to eat 1600-1700 calories to lose weight, but I honestly can't eat that much, and I don't want to end up in a plateau for eating too little, which is maybe what happened last time. I just honestly need help in the right direction.

    Were you counting calories last time you were exercising (before you quit)? How do you know you were eating too little?
  • emstethem
    emstethem Posts: 263 Member
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    Tried counting carbs instead of calories? It's the only thing that's worked for me. I eat an Atkins lifestyle, and I'm very happy with it...maybe you should read Dr. Atkins book and see if it's for you? Sorry you're struggling. Hope things get figured out soon.
  • BeckZombie
    BeckZombie Posts: 138 Member
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    Hi! I'm a recent college grad, so I may be able to help you. I HATE going to the gym, so I rarely do. I mainly focus on calorie counting and eating healthier. I've lost ten pounds in a little over a month. Now, that's not typical. I had a MAJOR snacking problem before I started calorie counting, so that's probably why I was able to drop that much that fast. But I do think watching your calories will help you. Also, take your measurements. You could be losing inches by working out. Some people get leaner through working out, but don't see a difference on the scale.

    What kinds of foods are you eating now? Do you eat at your university's cafeteria, or do you make your own food? Are you measuring what you eat, or are you guessing at serving sizes. If you're guessing, you could be eating wayyyy more than you realize.
  • eberlenuge
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    @LoraF83 Yes, I was for a while. And I think I may have been because I didn't believe my BMR/TDEE number and most likely was not getting enough nutrition.

    @emstethem I'm sorry, I'm not interested in those kinds of diets. But thanks. :)

    @BeckZombie I'm trying to currently eat as healthy as possible. I eat at home and try to premake my meals. I also recently bought a kitchen scale that has helped with my portions (I'm also learning how little a portion should be! It's crazy). I'm still nervous that I'm eating too much. Basically, the whole thing makes me nervous and that's what prevents me from doing as good of a job that I know I can do.
  • CristinaL1983
    CristinaL1983 Posts: 1,119 Member
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    @LoraF83 Yes, I was for a while. And I think I may have been because I didn't believe my BMR/TDEE number and most likely was not getting enough nutrition.

    @emstethem I'm sorry, I'm not interested in those kinds of diets. But thanks. :)

    @BeckZombie I'm trying to currently eat as healthy as possible. I eat at home and try to premake my meals. I also recently bought a kitchen scale that has helped with my portions (I'm also learning how little a portion should be! It's crazy). I'm still nervous that I'm eating too much. Basically, the whole thing makes me nervous and that's what prevents me from doing as good of a job that I know I can do.

    If you stick with what they have told you and don't lose weight (after 3-4 weeks), drop it down a hundred or two hundred calories a day for 3-4 weeks. See what happens. BMR and TDEE found online are estimates (or averages). Your real BMR or TDEE could be much higher or much lower than the estimate.

    I also think you need to relax a little bit about it. If you eat what it tells you to eat and don't lose any weight, what's the worst that has happened? Nothing, and you know a little bit more about your body and what your caloric needs are.

    In all likelyhood, you will lose weight and everything will be great. Just spend some time measuring out the portions and counting the calories. Look at it as a day at a time.
  • BeckZombie
    BeckZombie Posts: 138 Member
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    That's good you're measuring portions out. But don't go too crazy with worry. Listen to your body and keep doing what you're doing. Sometimes results take time.
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
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    @LoraF83 Yes, I was for a while. And I think I may have been because I didn't believe my BMR/TDEE number and most likely was not getting enough nutrition.

    @emstethem I'm sorry, I'm not interested in those kinds of diets. But thanks. :)

    @BeckZombie I'm trying to currently eat as healthy as possible. I eat at home and try to premake my meals. I also recently bought a kitchen scale that has helped with my portions (I'm also learning how little a portion should be! It's crazy). I'm still nervous that I'm eating too much. Basically, the whole thing makes me nervous and that's what prevents me from doing as good of a job that I know I can do.

    If you stick with what they have told you and don't lose weight (after 3-4 weeks), drop it down a hundred or two hundred calories a day for 3-4 weeks. See what happens. BMR and TDEE found online are estimates (or averages). Your real BMR or TDEE could be much higher or much lower than the estimate.

    I also think you need to relax a little bit about it. If you eat what it tells you to eat and don't lose any weight, what's the worst that has happened? Nothing, and you know a little bit more about your body and what your caloric needs are.

    In all likelyhood, you will lose weight and everything will be great. Just spend some time measuring out the portions and counting the calories. Look at it as a day at a time.

    Great advice.
    Take pictures as well, and measurements. The scale is not the most accurate way to measure progress.

    Also, you say you had no NSVs. Maybe choose some that are not weight related, i.e. how clothes fit, etc. For example, whatever it is you like to do to workout, set a goal, then achieve it. My best NSVs are running related. Or set a goal food wise, to control a certain favourite food, add in something that is healthy that you don't eat enough of, etc.
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
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    You should find exercise you like. The body is designed to be worked. The gym isn't just for people to burn off calories, it's a lifestyle change.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Tried counting carbs instead of calories? It's the only thing that's worked for me. I eat an Atkins lifestyle, and I'm very happy with it...maybe you should read Dr. Atkins book and see if it's for you? Sorry you're struggling. Hope things get figured out soon.

    I would not suggest the above because carbs aren't what make you fat, it is eating at a caloric surplus.

    I know that things are busy and stressful, but taking time to log what you eat can really help you see what you are eating and teach yourself about portions. You don't have to eat 100% "healthy"...especially starting out. I am really against an all or nothing attitude because, from experience, you just end up setting yourself up to fail.

    Take it slow. Changing how you think, what you know about food, and how you eat all takes time.

    If you want, check out this link by MFPer Heliotsdan - It'll give you a detailed walkthrough (with pictures even) on finding your TDEE and calculating what you should be eating.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12

    Or for a different version to figure out your TDEE, as well as some great advice...check out:
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/833500-what-do-i-do-common-sense-cliff-notes
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/844040-raspberry-ketones-for-the-rest-of-us


    And know that with your calorie goals - it isn't always about being exact. So what if you go over 50 cals. You are already eating at a deficit. Trying to come 100-200 cals under your goal because you think that if you eat at your goal or 100 cals over you are going to gain is just the wrong mindset and can lead to someone stressing and getting into a self-defeat mode. If you bomb one day, don't beat yourself up. Just remember - no one got fat in one day and just pick it back up tomorrow. In fact, realize that it isn't just about the day...it's about balancing out the week. So, ease up on yourself a bit if you do find yourself over now and again.

    Also realize that if you do have trouble meeting calorie goals because you are under....first - take a breath and remember not to calorie hoard. Second - realize that it isn't always about eating more but eating smarter. I'm all for the occassional junk and fast food (especially if you fit it in with your calorie goal and macros (protein, carbs, fats) )..but there are foods that are high in calories that are healthier than other choices.

    Foods like peanut butter, olive oil, eggs, butter (not the substitutes), avocado oil, protein powders, granola bars (like Nature Valley), protein bars, oatmeal, potatoes, yams, sweet potatoes, breads, pastas, rice, cheese, milk, meats, no low calorie condiments/snacks, etc. Maybe include some ice cream :)

    And with your school and such - maybe start your exercise program off with committing yourself to a good 30-60 minute walk a day. And then work up to hitting the gymp 1-2x a week. Remember to include weight training with your cardio...and slowly build up how long you exercise and how often.

    Overall..it's not a race. The fastest to their goals doesn't win anything extra...but those that really take the time to learn about fitness and health, and change their lives accordingly - they end up knowing how to maintain and are able to also learn to be happier with themselves overall.


    ETA: As others have said - the scale is not reliable. Remember to record your measurements because they are the most accurate way to track your progress. For example..I've been stuck at 178-181lbs since Sept. But I'm not stressed because I've gone from a size 18 to a size 14. I'll take the inches off over the scale # any day..lol.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    going to the gym =/= working out effectively while at the gym. i believe in being patient, but 5 months is plenty of time to see progress in most any body type. i'd question the routines and progression you're doing while at the gym. it sounds like you need to get a routine that's been shown to work.

    what were you doing at the gym and what are your current goals?
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
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    I understand completely. It has taken me 4 years to lose 22 pounds. Part of the reason is because I back-slide into bad habits under stress and the other part is because progress is slow even when I'm doing my very best. I've lost 1/2 pound in the past 2 months. The other 3-1/2 pounds on my ticker is weight that I lost and re-gained and re-lost and re-gained while counting my calories and having very few slip-up days.

    And my advice is still keep on keeping on. 185 is better than 207, and if I can be 163 four years from now - better still.
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
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    going to the gym =/= working out effectively while at the gym. i believe in being patient, but 5 months is plenty of time to see progress in most any body type. i'd question the routines and progression you're doing while at the gym. it sounds like you need to get a routine that's been shown to work.

    what were you doing at the gym and what are your current goals?

    That's a good point as well.
  • eberlenuge
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    @CristinaL1983 Yeah, you're right. I tend to obsess with planning and trying to succeed, so that's when it becomes stressful and hard to take it slow. Thank you! <3

    @BeckZombie Thank you!

    @3dogsrunning No, I don't 100% rely on the scale. I also rely on my clothes/measurements and I wasn't seeing any progress, so that's why I'm feeling so hesitant to do it again. But I understand where you're coming from.

    @MostlyWater Thank you :)

    @Joylia I completely agree with everything you said! Thank you! I don't rely entirely on the scale or any one thing, but I will try to remember not to anyhow. :) I would love to do daily walks to begin with, but it's so dang cold right now! Also, I don't have time during the day without it getting ridiculously dark outside. I would love to though!! Maybe I'll just do the walking at the gym. :) Thanks again!

    @DavPul Yeah, I thought the same thing and that's why I was frustrated. I had started with 1 or 2 sessions with a personal trainer and went from there. I was walking/running and lifting weights (8lbs/10lbs), but lost my progress due to my surgery. My current goal is basically to lose weight, or fat, rather. I have a lot of it to lose.

    @KenosFeoh Thank you! I agree!
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    8-10 pounds is the weight of my mom's purse. You can't expect so see changes unless you force your body into making them, and lifting something as light as your purse is not going to suffice. Once your doc has cleared you for strenuous activity start a program like SS 5x5 or NROLFW, put some weights on the bar, and watch your calories. You'll see some progress that way