I can't stand looking in the mirrior. Need motivation

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I wanted the zumba "game" for the Wii so bad then when I got it and couldn't fit the belt thing that holds the remote around me I got depressed and upset cause everyone else could that I know even my fiancee. Then when I got my treadmill I could walk/run as fast as I did last time I was on one. Every time I think I make a good food choice there was always a better choice I could have made. All my clothes have gotten to small for me and I just get sick looking at my self and don't want to do anything but lay in the bed and cry. Every time my fiancee says something about my weight it hurts me. I just wish he would encourage me instead of bringing up my weight. I really need some motivation cause I am tired of feeling like this and I just want to be in onderland.. I have not been in onderland since I was a freshman in high school. I have a lot of weight to lose and it just overwhelms me...

What keeps you going? what are some healthy food recipes that you like? If I have to I just have salads and slim fast forever lol.

Replies

  • Mommy4812
    Mommy4812 Posts: 649 Member
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    If you want it you have to just do it! Make yourself get up out of bed and do it!! Ignore the negativity from your boyfriend and do it for YOU!!!
  • deanadimples
    deanadimples Posts: 419 Member
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    48 hours ago I hated the person I saw in the reflection. I had lost 42 and have gained back around 20 of it. Maybe more. For now I'm avoiding the scale and working on the mental game.

    And the mental game is probably the most important for success.

    But unfortunately, if you don't like the reflection in the mirror. There is only one way it's going to change. And that's by you doing whatever it takes for you to change that view.

    So...back to my 48 hrs ago. I was so frustrated with myself. Even today I don't like the reflection. I see what I've gained. But today, I'm a different person because I made the choice to get back to Day 1 and go from there. First off, I came here. Honestly, this site does so much for me. I got active in the boards in the last 24 hours and already I'm back on track, eating right, worked out. I'm finally ready mentally to do what I need to do.

    And that's what you need to do. Get your head in the game, face the reality and make a plan for how you are going to change it.

    Good luck! Post on the boards. There will always be someone ready to help keep you going.
  • arnfolly
    arnfolly Posts: 79 Member
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    What keeps me going? FORGIVENES. i stopped beating myself up a long time ago about "better choices" I simply note I could've made a better choice, then, the next time when faced with a decision I make the better choice AT THAT TIME. We are all going to make bad choices, that is LIFE. The key is patience also. I do not lose weight quickly, and often will gain weight through the month (hormones) and do not freak out! I attempt to push myself when I can and THAT is what motivates me! This site has helped me a LOT as well, I am completely honest with my food diary and let all my friend view it. And I LOVE my white wine and chocolate, let me tell you. For me, it is about balance. Some days I will do better than others, some days not so good. The key is to NOT give up!
  • CurvaciousBeautyToBe
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    My advice to you is don't deprive yourself. Fit your not so "good" food choices into your daily intake along with mostly healthy choices. I personally love greek yogurt and Kashi cereal. :)
  • KristysLosing
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    A lot of the things you mentioned sound like the could be motivation...your clothes are small...you can't stand looking in the mirror...the belt didn't fit...and so on. It's not always easy, but you just have to do it, if you really want it.
  • caribear1984
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    I have had an issue with this too, especially since I have so much to lose. I started getting in the habit of reminding myself that I may not be able to do this or that NOW, but if I keep doing what I'm doing, it won't be long before I will be able to. That wii strap may not fit now, but it will soon. Just keep going, don't let things like that discourage you. If it feels like a failure now, it'll feel like even more of a victory when you finally get there.
  • gabbytup
    gabbytup Posts: 8 Member
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    Hey, just wanted to say, I've been there! I know what it feels like to look into a mirror and never want to take a bite again! I was 315 lbs. now I am 180lbs, and tho I am still a work in progress, I feel so much better about myself, just being able to fit a size 15 does wonders for my confidence. How to get there? Well it's different for everyone but some things are the same for everyone. No pop- ever! Not even diet! Limit your salt intake and if you must have it, use sea salt. No sugar, or at least very little. Sugar and salt are big water retention donts. Have more fish and chicken then beef. No fast food, or no more than once or twice a month. Salads are your friends! But ou can and should make it taste good with things like sunflower seeds (unsalted) craisins, apple pieces, cheese, but fill it up with tomatoe (I like grape tomatoes) colourful peppers, cucumber, and if you want, some kind of meat like chicken, lean ground beef, hard boiled eggs. If you must have bread, make it like a twelve grain or whole grain variety limit starchy veggies like potatoes, corn, peas, whic along with bread is high in starch which turns into sugar in your body. NEVER skip meals, especially breakfast as it makes you body go into starvation mode, keeping and storing every calorie you consume. Instead have much smaller meals with snacks in between, or if it makes more sense, have 5 small Meals a day. This way your body trusts that it won't be long before the next meal and it will turn it into energy for you to use. Veggies should be your go to and should be big parts of your plate with meat starch dairy having quarter portions. There are great low cal dressings out there like balsamic vinegar or cucumber, or you can make your own. Do not cut out treats! Rather, try to find low calorie versions. And if you have a piece of cake don't berate yourself! Just eat healthier tomorrow. Guilt will only sabotage any progress you make. If it comes off slow don't get discouraged, one pound gone, is one pound gone! Another idea is to get some diabetic cook books and pretend you are in fact diabetic, this could save you from actually being diabetic one day! I waited too long, but wish I hadn't. Also, these can help you with cheater goodies that have fewer cals and balancing your meals. Take a multivitamin and a B12 vitamin. Hope this has helped rather than annoyed, but it sounds like you are where I was 1year ago in my head. A nutritionist gave me this advice. Hope you have an easier time and friend me if you want! Oh and drink lots of water... LOTS! Mio helps, my fav is pomagranate. Ps make boyfriend eat as healthy as you. That will shut him up! Lol
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
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    Read the name of your topic. There is your motivation. Don't like what you see? Then get up and do something about it. Thats what I did.
  • invisibubble
    invisibubble Posts: 662 Member
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    Firstly, if your boyfriend is making you feel bad about yourself perhaps it's time to reassess whether you want to be with him.
    Second, stop being so harsh on yourself. You don't always have to eat the lowest calorie/healthiest thing. You don't have to be faster on the treadmill. You DO need to start turning things around and feeling good, if not for how you are now in any way, then for the positive changes you're implementing and how that's gonna make life better in the long run.
    I used to be twice the weight I am now, and I've made a helluva lot of stupid choices along the long, long time it's taken me to lose weight. I could have done things so much better, and there's things I cannot reverse now due to choices I made. But hey, my thighs don't rub when I walk (they used to get chafed and bleed sometimes even) my trousers no longer wear at the inner thigh and a zillionty other things that used to discourage and embarrass me. The only way to stop them embarrassing you is to change them. But it DOES take time and patience.
    Sometimes you just look at yourself and you want to just give up, binge, make it worse because you'll never look good. That's bollocks. Don't push self-destruct over self-esteem. You'll find even when you've reached your goal, you'll likely still feel that way a lot, as it often comes from inside regardless of what's outside. You learn to sort of... wait it out.

    Anyway, you can do it. Turn the disheartened feelings to motivation.
  • SJackson50
    SJackson50 Posts: 282 Member
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    And that's what you need to do. Get your head in the game, face the reality and make a plan for how you are going to change it.
    Good luck! Post on the boards. There will always be someone ready to help keep you going.

    Ditto!!! You are here and that is a great step! Good luck to you.
  • deanadimples
    deanadimples Posts: 419 Member
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    I have had an issue with this too, especially since I have so much to lose.

    But you've LOST 68 lbs.....BRAVO! Those are 68 lbs inyour past.

    I remember starting and looking at the whole length of road. Now I look more at what I've left behind me.
  • LilyandO
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    Start now. Just get up and do it. Nothing else can bring you closer to looking at yourself with more pride. You can do it. Nothing is lost until you have completely given up. You have done it before and you will do it this time as well!

    Keep us posted!
  • emanda1964
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    You cant stand looking in the mirror. Do you think you need bigger motivation than this??
  • Deemom8
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    Its all in how you look at it.............the belt doesn't fit YET !!!! It may not fit right now, but with hard work and trying each and everyday, it will fit eventually. You are strong, !
  • jenn_dd09
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    Today is day 1 for me on MyFitness Pal and I'm actually really excited about it. For a long time I was in the same boat that you are. Just wanting to better myself for me, and not anyone else is what helped me. I think you need to figure out what makes you happy and you just need to take that first step. Don't worry about what your fiancée says or thinks. You need to do this for you! If you really want it, you'll find a way. Think of all the support you've gotten since the time you posted this! We all believe in you!
  • joellendstokes
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    I am exactly the same way! I hate looking at myself in the mirror so much! But you know what, i realized i dont have to be unhappy about it :) I have the ability to make my body the way i want it! Even though im just starting this long road (having gained 10 pounds since my last weigh in, ouch lol) Im confident i can do this slowly! Just keep at it! I suffer with depression and anxiety and i just beat myself up so much, but im trying really hard to make a change! :) you can do it!! And if he is so mean thats not good for you :( you need someone to support you! not bring down your self esteem! your very pretty in your picture :)!
    Just know you can do this even if its starting out really slow like me lol
    Dont beat yourself up for not making the perfect choice! The great thing is that you are trying to make a change and make good choices! :D So you will learn! As will I!
    message me if you like ^_^! Would be cool to have a weight loss buddy! :D