Help! Cookie Monster within took control...

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Rosannajo88
Rosannajo88 Posts: 212 Member
in Motivation and Support
I need to confess!

Last night I had what I had been dreading the most, a binge!

Im not going to hide behind the facade of "Oh I just didnt realise how much of those I ate!" no, this was premeditated, I had walked around the shop carefully selecting the items I wanted to gorge on, greedy little eyes scouring the shelves for something calorific and chocolate laden. I made myself feel better by convincing myself I was getting these treats because the boyfriend was at home on the couch feeling low after a bad day and I wanted to cheer him up with a little sweet feast, this was part truth, I did want to make him feel better, but I wanted to nibble on mountains of chocolate more!

I clutched my bag of goodies close to me as I left the store, already feeling the guilt creeping up on me before any unwrapping had commenced. I didnt want anyone to see what was in my bag in case they judged me, they didnt need to I was already judging myself. There was a homeless guy outside the shop and I unloaded some of my stash to him, I would have felt like a terrible person if I walked past him with my bag of unnecessary confectionary when he was going hungry! Cookie Monster within congratulated me on my charitable act and declared this kind act warranted a feast!

I arrived home and scurried to the boyfriend to show him what I had gathered for us, he declared he was not particularly hungry and that he didnt want any. I instantly hated him. How could I have any of my treats now!? I pawed at the bag anxiously, moved it out of my line of sight, fidgeted for about an hour and then slowly sneaked my hand into the plastic bag of paradise and withdrew a melt in your mouth French Fancy, glancing nervously at the boy watching for any signs of disgust. He smiled an indulgent smile, I frowned and said it was terribly unfair how he was letting me eat these things! And so it went on for the night, slyly cavorting with my bag of contraband, then feeling guilty and so comforting myself with another treat...

I logged every morsel and went 600 calories over my limit! Today I am feeling like a fraud, the Special K in the cupboard at work mocked me and said I was not worthy! Im pretty sure everyone I walked past today knows what went on in the house of sin last night.

Forgive me, fellow dieters, for I have binged!

Replies

  • Scoochie1
    Scoochie1 Posts: 121 Member
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    Shame on you for being human! Out! Out! I cast thee out!

    You logged - which is more than I would have done - so you know what 'damage' was done at least.
    A treat is a good thing once in a while, just buget for it and next time ENJOY IT
    No more shameful cakes, have some planned enjoyable cakes next time

    Very funny post BTW
  • Noni2863
    Noni2863 Posts: 36 Member
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    You are forgiven :-) (great confession!)
  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,803 Member
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    the-most-interesting-monster-in-the-world-horrifyingly-violent-manner.jpg

    This is really no big deal, your daily caloric deficit is set already so if you are set to lose 1 pound a week, then that is a built in 500 calories deficit, at worst you maintained yesterday. Relax, it happens to the best of us. I attacked a bag of valentines candy last week and I am still here. Just keep on keeping on.
  • sss1966
    sss1966 Posts: 110 Member
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    You didn't go over by too much to be fair. But I so relate to going around the shop looking for binge items!
  • Rosannajo88
    Rosannajo88 Posts: 212 Member
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    Thank you guys :) I know I didnt throw too many calories down my gizzard last night and I will make up for it today (I might see how many times I can run past the shop without buying any nibbles this time), I think its more the loss of control that I feel guilty for because I really do enjoy eating well and being healthy, its just sometimes I have a little voice in my head that says "EAT ALL THE CAKES!!!" and I do haha x
  • lambchoplewis
    lambchoplewis Posts: 797
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    I do this also!!! It is like something has taken over my body and I eat, eat and eat. Usually going over 3000 or more calories so you did good at stopping!!! Get back on track, you are human. Saw this quote and thought you would like it:


    If you're heading somewhere in the car and wanted to get there by 5, but realized you were going to be a few minutes late, would you just give up and swerve into a bridge abutment?
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
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    *laughs* Wow, I feel sort of dirty and voyeuristic after reading this. Is it wrong that I was sort of cheering for you? "Yes, yes, eat another! Mm, I'll bet that was delicious, now more! More!!"
    speed_2-dafoe.gif
  • Change_is_Good_
    Change_is_Good_ Posts: 272 Member
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    That was so entertaining, well written, even more so because I do the exact same thing :(

    You are a better person than me, my inner binge monster whispers "if you don't log it, it didn't happen!"

    At least next time you feel the urge you can look at that day and remind yourself how naughty you felt. Every day is a new start, don't dwell on it and see if you can shave off some calories here and there so the weeks total isn't over by as much.
  • MeanSophieCat
    MeanSophieCat Posts: 200 Member
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    I am 100% with ya. My downfall was, "I'm just making cookies for the kids..." In my heart, I knew I was a nasty liar.

    I ate those 5 cookies. Logged them. Then jumped (yes, actually jumped) around my living room until I had stayed under my calorie goal.

    Perhaps that was humiliating enough to prevent a relapse? Probably not :D

    We forgive ourselves and move on. Have a great day!
  • DOMTIA1012
    DOMTIA1012 Posts: 57 Member
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    I hear ya... Middle of the night last night I ate the last slice of a small sized cake I had gotten for my son as a special valentines treat. It was taking him forever to eat that cake and I kept eyeing it and when I couldnt sleep thats what I reached for. SHAME.:laugh:
  • bubbanene
    bubbanene Posts: 101 Member
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    girl scout cookies just came in
  • lacewitch
    lacewitch Posts: 766 Member
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    i do exactly the same thing!
    do you know what the real reason was for the binge - not the bf cheering up thing?

    but you are a better person than me - i tend to 'forget' to log on those days or I just don't close my diary.

    you post was exactly what i do
  • fatjavotte
    fatjavotte Posts: 96 Member
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    That's why you will succeed and I will probably fail.
    I would have eaten the food in secret, not even enjoying it, then wailed that "I have ruined everything" as if a single indulgence could undo months of healthy eating, stopped logging my food and thought "I might as well keep on stuffing my face".

    Two years ago, all it took was a slice of my son's birthday cake to start putting back on the 50lbs I had lost.
  • aeouellette
    aeouellette Posts: 10
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    If you're heading somewhere in the car and wanted to get there by 5, but realized you were going to be a few minutes late, would you just give up and swerve into a bridge abutment?

    Love this! Where is it from?

    @snugglesnax Thanks for sharing, it happens! It's the worst when you go to the store knowing you shouldn't even be there in the first place, that you have all the wrong things in mind... :o)
  • caroldot
    caroldot Posts: 388 Member
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    I'm impressed that you logged it! I would've never! I'm constantly on a mission to find a low-cal chocolate chip cookie recipe as they are my biggest weakness. Unfortunately, haven't found one yet! Just last night, I tried a new recipe and all of them went in the trash. Sooooo I just indulge every once in a while. Think of it like this - you got it out of your system...its a new day to start fresh!

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