back for the thousandth time!

xoalyssaox
xoalyssaox Posts: 318 Member
edited September 2024 in Motivation and Support
If you've read my previous posts, they are ALL the same. I say I am committed and THIS time I am going to lose the weight and I am for real this time. Well I end up never losing the weight. Once AGAIN, I will share my story, any advice and help would be appreciated.

My name is Alyssa and I am 23 years old. 5 years ago at this time, I ate 200-300 calories a day and threw up whatever I ate, even if it was a salad. I was sick of being fat and being made fun by guys i grew up with, and never being wanted by anyone.

I finally got skinny, and got all the attention I wanted, but it wasn't the right kind. I ended up meeting a guy, and falling in love, and getting pregnant. Getting pregnant was the BEST thing to ever happen to me. I immediately started eating again and caring for the baby in my stomach. I NEVER have starved myself since getting pregnant. So that luckily is no longer my issue.

The man I married and had a child with, turned out to be an abuser. There wasn't a DAY that went by without verbal or mental abuse. He would call me fat, stupid, worthless and every bad thing you can think of on a regular basis. I have had self esteem issues all my life, so of course this made it worse. After 3 years of the mental, verbal, and sometimes physical abuse, I finally realized that I HAVE to be strong for my son and leave the jerk, so I did. I took my son, and moved in with my parents and filed for divorce. That was 10 months ago.

My son is the MOST IMPORTANT thing to me, he is the most amazing little man in the world. Since leaving my husband I went back to college full time and am working full time a preschool teacher where I get to take my son with me and see him all day :). I have a very hard time ever giving myself credit for anything I do. I am VERY hard on myself, but I realized last week, that I am a strong person. I never ever say anything good about myself, but you know what, I am strong. I was able to leave an abusive man, that even though he tore me down, I still loved him with all my heart. I KNEW that I didn't want my son to turn out like him, so I left. So step one for me, is trying to be more positive to myself, and realize that I am worth it!

There is just one thing in my life that I cannot control, and that's my eating! I have gained 30 pounds (added on to the 25 i needed to lose) since I left my husband. I feel like I never stop eating. I know I shouldn't eat so much, but I do! Three weeks ago I had enough of the self esteem and eating issues, and I made an appointment to see a Psychotherapist. I am done making excuses for myself, and am ready to get to the internal issues for my eating problems. I obviously have problems if I went from starving myself to overeating.

So I have no idea if anyone will actually read all of my ramble. But has anyone ever had anything similar they can share, and tell me how they got through it. My therapist is great to talk to and get advice from, but I'd love to meet people who had similar experiences who can share with me how they overcame them.

Replies

  • Rhonnie
    Rhonnie Posts: 506 Member
    I can't say my story is the same as yours, but I can say you are definately a strong person!! And that is enough to get you a long ways in this life, especially when you've already taken such great steps. Keep up the good work, you obviously deserve it!
  • surlydave
    surlydave Posts: 502 Member
    You had the strength to step away from an abusive marriage. That took a lot. Your son also needs a healthy mom, and a happy one for that matter. If you get your strength through him, think that one over. :smile:
  • daybyday
    daybyday Posts: 537 Member
    My sister was anorexic and went to an eating disorder ranch in Arizona to get better. We never thought she would have children, but now she has 3 very healthy kids. She is still somewhat weight conscious, but she no longer starves herself. I have had my own issues with emotional baggage. You did the best thing by getting you & your son out of the bad relationship and yourself into counseling. Figuring out your triggers to what makes you not eat/overeat and then how to deal with these triggers will be the best thing you have ever done. It is NOT the food.....it is what is troubling you. Remember, you are here for a reason and one of the big reasons is for your son, but also for yourself. Find some things you love....reading, puzzles, music, whatever; to give your mind a rest for awhile. It's going to take some time for you to heal. I hope you have a good supportive family/friends. Good luck to you....you are WORTH IT!!!! "It's not who you are that holds you back....it's who you think you're not." :flowerforyou:
  • Elokyn
    Elokyn Posts: 448 Member
    I havent been through anything like that, but I just wanted to say I'm very proud of you, and you CAN do this :):flowerforyou:
  • xoalyssaox
    xoalyssaox Posts: 318 Member
    I havent been through anything like that, but I just wanted to say I'm very proud of you, and you CAN do this :):flowerforyou:

    Thank you!
  • xoalyssaox
    xoalyssaox Posts: 318 Member
    My sister was anorexic and went to an eating disorder ranch in Arizona to get better. We never thought she would have children, but now she has 3 very healthy kids. She is still somewhat weight conscious, but she no longer starves herself. I have had my own issues with emotional baggage. You did the best thing by getting you & your son out of the bad relationship and yourself into counseling. Figuring out your triggers to what makes you not eat/overeat and then how to deal with these triggers will be the best thing you have ever done. It is NOT the food.....it is what is troubling you. Remember, you are here for a reason and one of the big reasons is for your son, but also for yourself. Find some things you love....reading, puzzles, music, whatever; to give your mind a rest for awhile. It's going to take some time for you to heal. I hope you have a good supportive family/friends. Good luck to you....you are WORTH IT!!!! "It's not who you are that holds you back....it's who you think you're not." :flowerforyou:

    Thanks for the advice! Thats great your sister got help. I really like the quote, that is so true!!
  • xoalyssaox
    xoalyssaox Posts: 318 Member
    You had the strength to step away from an abusive marriage. That took a lot. Your son also needs a healthy mom, and a happy one for that matter. If you get your strength through him, think that one over. :smile:


    thanks!
  • xoalyssaox
    xoalyssaox Posts: 318 Member
    bump
  • Kmill217
    Kmill217 Posts: 204 Member
    My advice. It sounds like your wrapped up in your little man. Find ways you both can spend more time together and take in some exercise. It sounds like your very busy! It is tough, especially for a single mom (my dad my left my mom and I when i was 10). I ate Mcdonalds through highschool because it was economical and easy. Looking back, I dont hate my Mom for it, because she was doing the best she could. Not that i cared, because mcdies was freakin awesome! :) So, you have to jst tell yourself to take it one day at a time! It'll be slow going. Try not to do it all at once is my advice.

    So, now its yourrrr turn.
    My wife and I are expecting a little girl in August. What is your advice for me? :)
  • xoalyssaox
    xoalyssaox Posts: 318 Member
    Sorry I am just now seeing this. My advice for you is too enjoy every second with your daughter. Children are the greatest gifts you can ever have!! I am not the one to give advice for weightloss, but as far as being a parent, always do what you feel is best and put your little girl first. Everything comes natural! Just enjoy :) and congrats, and thanks for your advice!!

    My advice. It sounds like your wrapped up in your little man. Find ways you both can spend more time together and take in some exercise. It sounds like your very busy! It is tough, especially for a single mom (my dad my left my mom and I when i was 10). I ate Mcdonalds through highschool because it was economical and easy. Looking back, I dont hate my Mom for it, because she was doing the best she could. Not that i cared, because mcdies was freakin awesome! :) So, you have to jst tell yourself to take it one day at a time! It'll be slow going. Try not to do it all at once is my advice.

    So, now its yourrrr turn.
    My wife and I are expecting a little girl in August. What is your advice for me? :)
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