Avoiding people's comments help?
rhalpin86
Posts: 43
Not sure how to handle this. I'm not at my goal weight yet (after having a baby 6.5 months ago.) When hubby and I go out people are always saying wow you look great. I thank them and when I don't drink they ask why, I tell them I'm trying to watch what I eat etc... they give me dirty looks like I'm crazy b/c I'm small. My husband says I should watch what I say around other mom's because alot of women would kill to be my size now and some can't lose the weight. It's not like I'm going around complaining I'm fat!!!
He said the other day we were in the mall and women were giving me dirty looks (like where did her baby weight go)
How do I avoid peoples comments or looking down on me for trying to get lean and toned? It makes me feel bad. It's not helping my motivation.
He said the other day we were in the mall and women were giving me dirty looks (like where did her baby weight go)
How do I avoid peoples comments or looking down on me for trying to get lean and toned? It makes me feel bad. It's not helping my motivation.
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Replies
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Lap it up, jealousy gets to us all. Use it as motivation that you're doing a great job, people will always have opinions but it's yours and your families opinion that counts so keep doing what you're doing. Rock on0
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I don't tell anyone anything- it's nobody's beeswax. Just give vague answers and people will have nothing to comment about- or you can always answer with questions, that shuts it down pretty quickly, too.
"Why aren't you drinking?"
either "I'm just not interested in drinking tonight"
or "Why is it important to you that I drink?"
"Why are you watching what you eat? Relax a little!"
either "I'm comfortable with my choices"
or "Does it make you feel uncomfortable that I'm making different choices than you?"0 -
I agree with morebean13! Most people don't like to overweight alone or drink alone. And let haters hate.0
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I lost all my babyweight after having 3 kids- however I never drank when the kids were small as it was just not worth it the next day- when I had to be up early with them
and I would tell people that- when they did not understand..I did not care, I would tell them- if they want to look after the kids for me then I would be able to have a drink.. no one ever took the job!
don't worry about it- now that my kids are older, I drink!! that i most likely how i have now gained 20 pounds!!
don't let it bother you!0 -
ok but how to resolve the odd looks when people ask why you're eating healthy? They roll their eyes and say I'm crazy.
Really? I'm crazy for wanting to improve my body and not put garbage in it?? It's effin annoying.
or the "you look fine, you don't need to diet" It's a personal choice- I want my 6 back abs. Eating pizza and pasta isn't going to get me them....0 -
Brilliant. I will be remembering this.I don't tell anyone anything- it's nobody's beeswax. Just give vague answers and people will have nothing to comment about- or you can always answer with questions, that shuts it down pretty quickly, too.
"Why aren't you drinking?"
either "I'm just not interested in drinking tonight"
or "Why is it important to you that I drink?"
"Why are you watching what you eat? Relax a little!"
either "I'm comfortable with my choices"
or "Does it make you feel uncomfortable that I'm making different choices than you?"0 -
I just never tell people that I want to lose weight - I focus the conversation on health and justify choices as appropriate for my health issues (ie, might not apply to them). For anyone who might then question my French fries, I tell them those are for my mental health.
I doubt anyone in the mall was giving you nasty looks. Your husband was either trying to stroke your ego or make you paranoid.0 -
Jealousy will get them nowhere. Just keep donig what you do and keep your goal in mind.0
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As for the drinking, I tell people I would much rather consume those calories in the form of chocolate
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Oh boo, your existence is bothering other people?
Sounds like their problem. Eat and drink what you want. Why would you want to please anyone who would be so judgmental and catty? Ask your husband to stop telling you about it, and go back to not noticing what other people think of you.0 -
I don't tell anyone anything- it's nobody's beeswax. Just give vague answers and people will have nothing to comment about- or you can always answer with questions, that shuts it down pretty quickly, too.
"Why aren't you drinking?"
either "I'm just not interested in drinking tonight"
or "Why is it important to you that I drink?"
"Why are you watching what you eat? Relax a little!"
either "I'm comfortable with my choices"
or "Does it make you feel uncomfortable that I'm making different choices than you?"
As always, this. Who gives a crap what other people do with their eyes toward you? If they're giving you bad looks or talking about you in a derogatory manner strictly because you have chosen to be healthy, that isn't your problem, it's theirs.0 -
ok but how to resolve the odd looks when people ask why you're eating healthy? They roll their eyes and say I'm crazy.
Really? I'm crazy for wanting to improve my body and not put garbage in it?? It's effin annoying.
or the "you look fine, you don't need to diet" It's a personal choice- I want my 6 back abs. Eating pizza and pasta isn't going to get me them....
Point out that you're not dieting, you're simply having a healthier lifestyle. If they still push it, then you just tell them that it's your choice and you don't need approval for them. The more you stand up for yourself and the more you see your body change, the better you'll feel.
keep going, you're doing great. 0 -
I don't tell anyone anything- it's nobody's beeswax. Just give vague answers and people will have nothing to comment about- or you can always answer with questions, that shuts it down pretty quickly, too.
"Why aren't you drinking?"
either "I'm just not interested in drinking tonight"
or "Why is it important to you that I drink?"
"Why are you watching what you eat? Relax a little!"
either "I'm comfortable with my choices"
or "Does it make you feel uncomfortable that I'm making different choices than you?"
Excellent responses. Don't let other people's issues effect your healthy lifestyle choices. Your lifestyle choices are about you, not them. They shouldn't be making it about them and neither should you. Keep doing what you're doing!0 -
Tell them you're breast feeding. I don't know why you should though - I'd enjoy being smug. It's not your fault that they aren't making an effort. 0
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Being healthy and watching what you eat is the reason you look so good. Don't let the haters get you down:)0
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Haters are gonna hate that's their job, and it's a sign you're doing something right.
I tell people I already ate and I'm so full. Or I'm not hungry.
When it comes to alcohol I tell them that I don't drink.
As far as dirty looks, honey that is what insecure people do. It's their problem not yours. Tell your husband it's not necessary to tell you that you're getting dirty looks right now.
Let your haters be your motivation to push even harder!!!
A piece of coal only becomes a diamond from the pressure of the earth on it.
Shine, really give them something to talk about.
There is an African proverb that state: When people stop talking about you, you die.
Keep your head up!!!0 -
Screw everyone else! You are doing a great job trying to be fit and healthy and if they are giving you dirty looks because they are jealous, maybe they should take a look in the mirror and take a leaf out of your book. Keep up the good work!0
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It's been my experience that the comments die down as people get used to the "new you" they're seeing. You may just have to ride it out as best you can until then.0
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ok but how to resolve the odd looks when people ask why you're eating healthy? They roll their eyes and say I'm crazy.
Really? I'm crazy for wanting to improve my body and not put garbage in it?? It's effin annoying.
or the "you look fine, you don't need to diet" It's a personal choice- I want my 6 back abs. Eating pizza and pasta isn't going to get me them....
Why do you feel you need to resolve this? Their reaction is not your problem. You can't control them or change their feelings. There could be any number of reasons for them to be reacting that way. Only they know what those reasons are, assumptions and speculations are just that - assumptions and speculations. Just continue to do what you are doing, and stop explaining yourself to the ones whom you feel aren't reacting the way you think they should. Tell them you are happy with your choices. And then don't respond again. Simple, really...0 -
"Life is too short to waste
In critic peep or cynic bark,
Quarrel or reprimand:
'Twill soon be dark;
Up, heed thine own aim, and
God speed the mark!"
~Ralph Waldo Emerson0 -
Who cares what they think? Why do they matter? They're insignificant. You're the only one that counts. If you feel good, then that's all that matters.0
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Their staring is their insecurity/jealousy. Over the years, it has become my motivation when I get low. When I am at a point where I am feeling self conscious when I catch someone looking, it usually means that I have been lacking on keeping up my healthy lifestyle. Sometimes it means something as simple as reminding myself how hard I have worked and where I have come from is in order. If the opportunity is there and I don't want to spend the next week making up for it, I grab a candy bar or brownie and eat it in front of them doing my best to glow lol.0
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I don't tell anyone anything- it's nobody's beeswax. Just give vague answers and people will have nothing to comment about- or you can always answer with questions, that shuts it down pretty quickly, too.
"Why aren't you drinking?"
either "I'm just not interested in drinking tonight"
or "Why is it important to you that I drink?"
"Why are you watching what you eat? Relax a little!"
either "I'm comfortable with my choices"
or "Does it make you feel uncomfortable that I'm making different choices than you?"
THESE ARE AWESOME!!!!
I so wish I had been told these at some point many moons ago!!
My favorite is, "Does it make you feel uncomfortable that I'm making different choices than you?" Oh yes, I will be using that one!0 -
How do I avoid peoples comments or looking down on me for trying to get lean and toned? It makes me feel bad. It's not helping my motivation.
Today I'm not a victim, and nobody is responsible for my choices but me; & likewise I can't be held responsible for anybody elses lifestyle choices. I can only share whats worked for me, and hope they decide to try something different.0
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