Jerk Coworker Comments...

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I have coworkers who really upset me today. I am a healthy BMI now that I have lost a few pounds. By no means "skinny". But my coworkers are quite overweight and are always chowing on sugary snacks in the lunch room. I have a bite once in awhile but try to avoid the snacks more often than not. At first I took it as a compliment when they'd make a remark like "oh you can afford to have some of these." or "have some! you don't need to diet."

After awhile this started to bug me. Because I know that it's more about them feeling fat than me being "skinny" (in their view).

Then today I ran up the stairs to grab my coat, to join them for lunch, and I heard one whisper "Oh my god... She is so skinny..." in a worried tone of voice like as if I was dying. And then they kept staring while I ate lunch.

They're giving me a COMPLEX! I felt like I had to pick a really high-calorie lunch just to prove to them that I'm losing weight in a healthy way and to reach a healthy and comfortable level! I am not anorexic, I eat all meals plus snacks, I exercise for a healthy heart and to release stress... And they are acting like I need an intervention or something. The number of comments I get in a week about my size/weight/diet/exercise is making me feel SO scrutinized. I don't know how to tell them to shut the f--- up and just mind their own business. Fat comments are rarely welcome. Things like "you are so skinny" and "well how much DO you weight?" are not compliments, especially since I have basically no chest (and that runs in the family). They are still judgments that make me self-conscious.

All that said... What should I do? How can I tell them without being a total b
?
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Replies

  • dsjohndrow
    dsjohndrow Posts: 1,820 Member
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  • pucenavel
    pucenavel Posts: 972 Member
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    Go to the park.

    Find a duck.

    Put the duck in a box.

    Take the duck home.

    Fill a glass with water.

    Take the duck out of the box and place the duck in your bathtub.

    Pour the water on the duck.

    Watch what the duck does.

    Be the duck.


    If ducknapping is illegal in your community, please be careful.
  • m00glem0g
    m00glem0g Posts: 21 Member
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    HAHAHA!! Some of those are great :-) I've been considering locking the door to the lunch room (a.k.a. munch room) and watching them panic.
  • juliemouse83
    juliemouse83 Posts: 6,663 Member
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    Those were good....My favorite was the sky diving at lunch, LOL....

    OP, for what it's worth, it's THEIR insecurities floating up to the surface, and therefore not your issue. :wink:

    Keep doing what you're doing, and maybe they'll simply explode.
  • sherylhs
    sherylhs Posts: 141 Member
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    They're giving me a COMPLEX!

    You are giving you a complex. They are jealous and need to say those things so they can eat their unhealthy lunch without guilt. Please don't make this about you.

    Good luck!
    ~S
  • shantae1125
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    Them poking fun at you, or your super hot sexy body, lol, may be a way of them showing that they want what u have... You are heathy, and it shows. You have a will power that your co-workers dont have. They may be jealous of that. If i was in your shoes, I would keep reminding myself of how unhappy i was in the past, and how HAPPY, HEALTHY, and AMAZING I currently am. Dont let other take away your shine!!! If you love you, then thats all that matters!!! F--K other's opinions!!!! LOL This is your life, you should live it making yourself happy, and then making others, whom you love, happy!!! Hope this helps!!!!
  • renitawalker9
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    Go to the park.

    Find a duck.

    Put the duck in a box.

    Take the duck home.

    Fill a glass with water.

    Take the duck out of the box and place the duck in your bathtub.

    Pour the water on the duck.

    Watch what the duck does.

    Be the duck.


    If ducknapping is illegal in your community, please be careful.


    This^^
  • 1964Lynn
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    They are jealous because you are starting to look better than them. You have the will power and they dont. So keep up the good work and forget their comments
  • onlythetancan
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    They are just jealous and want to bring you to their level, just remember you don't want to conform because you don't want to look like them!

    take it all as a compliment and just meantion you are a healthy weight for your BMI :)
  • donna123smile
    donna123smile Posts: 24 Member
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    This is annoying for sure! I remember the way I felt when someone insinuated that I was losing weight by throwing my food up...I wanted to cut a b***h! I hate having to defend my weight loss...I am doing it the healthy way...eating 1800 cals a day, mini meals every 2 hours, exercise...far from any eating disorder...Let them keep talking behind your back...they'll have better access to kiss your skinny *kitten*, girl!
  • dixedreg
    dixedreg Posts: 276 Member
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    ...Let them keep talking behind your back...they'll have better access to kiss your skinny *kitten*, girl!

    Haha... Nice!
  • typo7
    typo7 Posts: 4
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    Go to the park.

    Find a duck.

    Put the duck in a box.

    Take the duck home.

    Fill a glass with water.

    Take the duck out of the box and place the duck in your bathtub.

    Pour the water on the duck.

    Watch what the duck does.

    Be the duck.


    If ducknapping is illegal in your community, please be careful.

    I second the motion.
  • lawyerette
    lawyerette Posts: 301 Member
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    Seriously, people??! All I can say is stick to your guns. Eat what you want to eat - responsibly - and when they offer you processed foods, say that you're going natural and break out an apple and take a juicy bite in front of them :)

    I think a combination of what my grandpa advised me is best, even if it's tough to hear:

    1. It's none of your business what other people say about you, so don't pay it any mind.

    and

    2. Don't let other people's negativity affect the person you choose to be (or the life you choose to live).

    It's not their life - it's yours. You are a free person with free will, so do what makes you happy and $%&#*@! everyone else. You aren't making them eat your food, why should you change to accommodate their bad habits and poor self esteem??!

    -and if it was me, I'd start leaving ads for weight loss clinics, obesity statistics, cholesterol and blood pressure screenings, etc., scattered across the counters in the bathroom and break room. Millions of people are obese and are battling diabetes and heart/vascular disease due to their weight issues. Your coworkers should worry about themselves rather than picking on the one person who wants to be better.

    Hugs!!!

    ~E
  • Dulcemami4ever
    Dulcemami4ever Posts: 344 Member
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    um...I just don't get why it even bothers you. If you look fab, flaunt it. They are probably either jealous or resentful and you honestly don't need to even associate with people like that.

    Eat the way you feel comfortable and don't worry about what others think.
  • CMMia17
    CMMia17 Posts: 42 Member
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    I get stupid skinny comments too. They are just jealous and deep down inside, they want the energy and motivation to lose weight too.
  • meglynne1987
    meglynne1987 Posts: 382 Member
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    Let them keep talking behind your back...they'll have better access to kiss your skinny *kitten*, girl!

    THIS!!!!!!!!! :smile: :happy:
  • lawyerette
    lawyerette Posts: 301 Member
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    Let them keep talking behind your back...they'll have better access to kiss your skinny *kitten*, girl!

    THIS!!!!!!!!! :smile: :happy:

    I'm totally stealing this. Thanks for pointing it out, Meagan!
  • Maris_Swan
    Maris_Swan Posts: 197 Member
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    I work with people that are pretty health conscious and a few that just do NOT care. The ones that do not care make comments to me about my routine lunch and water intake and it does not bother me. You just have to see past those that do not have a commitment to themselves or health. I will not let someone pee on my parade! lol.
  • redphoenix64
    redphoenix64 Posts: 47 Member
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    I would just thank them for their concern and go about eating and doing what you are doing. The saying goes " You can attract more bees with honey than vinegar". They are obviously jealous because they can't do what you are doing. Keep your head up, it will get better.
  • BamBam125
    BamBam125 Posts: 229 Member
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    Talk to your manager or HR about it. It might not be sexual harassment per se, but it is an unwelcome and unwanted and hurtful commentary on your body that effects your work environment (maybe not a "hostile" work environment, but a concern never the less, and it could become hostile if they don't change their treatment of you). If you've already asked them to stop commenting on it, then they should respect your wishes. I'd say bring it up to a manager or HR and let them help you out. You have a right to be respected at work. Your employer has a responsibility to make sure the environment in which you work is supportive instead of insulting.