Struggling... *vent* wanting feedback

Hi Brittaney

All I can say is keep going. These people loved you, and would want you to do this for yourself. You will feel better if you eat better, which means you can adjust better.
Having said that, you should consider talking with (if you are religious) your family pastor, or if you would prefer, find a local counselor. I've had several times in my life where things seem to hit all at once. Last September, as a member of my town's ambulance squad, I was first on scene to the suicide of an 18 year old friend. Two days later, it was responding to a good friend's wife unexpected heart attack at 52. Three days after that, I was first on scene to a five year old hit by a car.
Over Christmas it was discovering I needed a hysterectomy, responding in ER to help with a code and it was a good friend. A week later over New Year's, it was one of my best friends, and the man who got me into EMS, being killed in a medic helicopter crash.

Both times, I've taken the time to see a counselor. Just a couple of visits, but it's good to be able to vent to someone who A) is not involved and b) knows how and when to respond.

Good luck. Keep battling.
Mindy

have not been in your shoes..thank god! but you've been thru a LOT , cut yourself some slack...don't have any brilliant advice about how to get back on track, just wanted you to know that I'm sorry for your losses!! hang in there, let yourself mourn and then get back on the horse so to speak...

I'm very sorry for your woes. I can completely understand. The reason I got to the weight(I was) is because my mom passed. I gained 28lbs over a couple years. Grief is a very draining emotion. It's taken me years to get to this point of finally truly wanting to change. Remember that you are worth getting healthy. It will take all your strength to keep going but it's worth it.

Don't be too hard on yourself during this time. Maybe you need to step back a tad and take things slower. Don't try to go full tilt. Make small changes.....less soda, more vegetables add in some activity. Keeping active will boost your emotions. All that's going on won't feel as heavy if you get some consistant exercise. Just remember that this is not a race. Healthy, sustainable weight loss is a 1/2 lb to 1 lb a week. During this time just concentrate on trying to eat healthier don't get stuck on the scale. Friend me if you'd like.

You have been through so much, I am so sorry to hear all your troubles! A lot of people get overweight because they are emotional eaters, myself included. I hear of people losing their appetite when upset, but not me, I reach for the sweet stuff.

Don't beat yourself up for it hunnie. In your shoes, what I would do, is just pick one thing at a time. You have so much to deal with right now you need to take some baby steps to help get back on track. Just one thing, whether it is sticking to TDEE calories every day, or going for a long time 3 x a week, or limiting to one glass of pop a day. Just pick one thing that you can do that will take you one step closer to a healthier lifestyle.

Do it for a week. And when you can see you have been successful with that, add one more thing. Another week or so, add another.

You was doing SO WELL so you KNOW you can do this. But it isn't easy when you have so much upheaval in your life. Take baby steps and gradually work your way back in to that healthy lifestyle you found before all this heartbreak. You can take control again hunnie, you can do this.

Feel free to add me as a friend if you want some extra support xx

Oh my gosh that's terrible . You just need to remember why you're doing this. Yes you lost some very close people, but life does go on and you need to carry on and live yours. You need to take care if yourself and make you your first priority. Grieve for your losses don't grieve forever. You can do it! Good job on that run/walk tonight. The first step is always the hardest

I am praying for you right now that you would have peace and the strength to continue . You sound like a very determined and hard working person. Your hard work will pay off. Grief is hard try to just take it one breath at a time.... sometimes thats all you can do.

If I was near.. all I think I could do is give you a hug..
SO.. go find someone else that looks sad.. and give them a hug Even if it is a total stranger! Or go buy 2 flowers.. and hand them to 2 people that you think could use them. That should cheer your heart up a little.

I would suggest doing that.. then just having a good cry. Snack on some fresh fruits or veggies (that'll make you feel better) then as your ready slowly get back into it. Do it for your family

I'm sorry for all you've been going through. All the stress makes it that much more important that you take care of yourself! Everyone takes care of themselves differently, but here are a few suggestions:

1. You've experienced a huge amount of stress and loss recently. Find a support group and a counselor to talk with. Often times local hospital systems will have loss support groups- you can check their website or call a doctors office for a list. If you can't afford counseling and your insurance (if you have it) won't pay check out your local college. Many colleges provide no cost counseling to the community. If you can't commit to going to a group or a counselor, find a 1-800 loss support line you can call.

2. Start moving more. It doesn't matter for how long or what you are doing. Go out and walk for five minutes at a time if that is all you have. Do that as much as possible. You don't have to get all geared out and go to the gym. Just go for a walk. Take some deep breaths. Look around. Take some more deep breaths. Cry if you need to.

3. Choose one thing to eliminate from your diet and choose one thing to add. Focus on just those two small steps until they are second nature. I would suggest cutting out the soda and eating one vegetable a day for a few weeks.

4. Do you have a favorite type of music? Favorite artist? Start listening to it every day. Force yourself if you have to. Choose five upbeat songs and listen to them every day.

5. Get a notebook and start writing. It doesn't matter what you write about, but just write. Every day. Choose a time of the day and write for five minutes or more.

Take care of yourself. You can't take care of anyone else if you don't first take care of yourself.

^^^^ this

and go easy on yourself, you've had a huge burden to deal with!! anyone would be knocked off track from anything they were trying to achieve from something like that. Be very gentle with yourself, and gently pick yourself up and get back on track.... and look after yourself in other ways too, i.e. look after your emotional wellbeing after what you've been through. Use whatever support is out there to help you through it :flowerforyou:

It's easier, it feels safer, to go back to old habits when experiencing so much hurt in such a short time - and now you have further worries for the future.

But your health - mental AND physical must take priority in your life now. If you try to squash your sadness, stifle your fears with more food than you need, you can't heal.

Rather than see it as something hard, that changing your habits is punishment, try to see this as the best time for you to value yourself and your health. Sadly, you have seen all too clearly that things can end without warning; use your time to give yourself a healthier life.


And yes, not being able to dull the pain with, for example, lots of carbs, will mean that you will feel your losses more keenly - but using that pain to drive you onwards, to make more of your precious life, is the best way you can honour those you have lost.

So... the struggle continues.. my husband lost his job...

Well damn, it just keeps coming at you! I am sorry.

You are going through pure hell right now, and I get that. make small changes for now, the ones you can handle. walk every day. Start picking healthier foods, you will feel good about making good choices. You will never feel good about making bad choices. Drink you water. If you eat some crap food in there too...it is okay....small changes. Dedicate your success to your Pa.

Wow, you've had a terrible string of bad news. I wouldn't worry as much about weight loss right now as that is always something you can catch up on as clearly you have enough on your plate at the moment to deal with. That said, maybe setting aside a half hour or an hour going for a walk around the block each day might do wonders both from a fitness perspective but moreso for giving your brain time to process everything that's happened in the last little bit. I know when I'm stressed, a walk is pretty much a guaranteed cure.

Last year I started this journey , I think about the same time as you . But I was doing Awesome!!! logging , exercising , just awesome! I lost about 18 pounds while logging and then we took in a homeless girl and her 3 kids , I continued to loose weight ..... and then my husband starting acting up with that girl . I had lost 30 pounds at that point . After she was gone the drama continued , to the point where we had a physical altercation . My husband and I had a history of well Him putting his hands on me but I had left him and when I let him back into my life he actually was the man I loved again . We went 3 years with no problems like that until after that girl had left , It was not her fault It was the alcohol . he drank too much and accused me of trying to hook up with a guy because I was telling him how much respect I had for him having come out of the marines .............dude ...... lol but anyway yeah it was bad . I was pretty messed up and after that is when the struggle started . I was an emotional wreck for like 3 months after that , I didnt trust him I didnt like him . I was hurt I was deeply wounded . Especially since I felt like I put myself out there to give us a second try . throughout all of this my brother was relapsing and stealing from my mom again , but I 3 hours away felt helpless . I was really struggling . The last bout of physical abuse I went through I gained 100 pounds , that is 4 years of dealing with it and 2 pregnancies all alone 9 hours away from all my friends and family . I felt like that all over again . Totally restless .... I jumped in and out of the weight loss game Barely maintaining my weight , and then ...................................my battery died on the scale and it was a free for all @_@ . I gained all of my weight back PLUS 10 pounds X_X last month I realized that . I was so tired , all the time just exhausted I could get the homeschool work regulated the house was a mess and I was just tired!!! always tired!!! finally this month I said ok enough is enough .
It wont ever be easy , this life . But it gets easier if you make it through the tough times .
My biggest weakness is the computer and video games mixed with suger . I was 288 pounds when I left my husband with my two children I lost 40 pounds in 3 months back then ,
Last year I dropped to 226
I am now 255 +_+
We can do it !
there is proof in your work to this point .
I got stuck in the mindset of omg I should be at my goal weight right now!!!!
But im not
And its not ok but I am still breathing , and the things that hurt me then will be my strength now .
Don't be discouraged , don't give up
Even if you mess up , dont give up It is totally ok to feel emotion and weakness , but ou dont have to let (IT) control you
Remember beautiful , your driving that vehicle and IT is just a passenger
Lots of love and wishes and inbox me anytime you need to , I lost my dad at 14 and have been through many different cycles of grieving ,if you ever need to talk do not be afraid to msg me .
You guys are awesome!!!