Finding a balance

TashaKnight
TashaKnight Posts: 50 Member
edited September 18 in Food and Nutrition
Hii! I'm having a bit of trouble here. I'll speak to my dietitian soon, but I'm hoping to hear more perspectives sooner.
I was dealing with anorexia for a while and then I've been in recovery for 5 months now. I still get really really nervous when I eat though it's a comfort knowing that I put everything down here on mfp and make sure my fat/protein/carbs intake is balanced. I'm sooo nervous when I eat that I can't even tell if my stomach feels that way because I'm hungry or because I'm nervous or what. And I'm having so much trouble listening to my body and eating not too much or not too little.
Right now I want to limit myself to one small bowl every 3 hours to make sure I'm not over-eating, but that's not listening to myself body! It's listening to the voices in my head :( help please?
Thanks a lot,
<3 Tasha

Replies

  • TashaKnight
    TashaKnight Posts: 50 Member
    Hii! I'm having a bit of trouble here. I'll speak to my dietitian soon, but I'm hoping to hear more perspectives sooner.
    I was dealing with anorexia for a while and then I've been in recovery for 5 months now. I still get really really nervous when I eat though it's a comfort knowing that I put everything down here on mfp and make sure my fat/protein/carbs intake is balanced. I'm sooo nervous when I eat that I can't even tell if my stomach feels that way because I'm hungry or because I'm nervous or what. And I'm having so much trouble listening to my body and eating not too much or not too little.
    Right now I want to limit myself to one small bowl every 3 hours to make sure I'm not over-eating, but that's not listening to myself body! It's listening to the voices in my head :( help please?
    Thanks a lot,
    <3 Tasha
  • melissalynnlarue
    melissalynnlarue Posts: 47 Member
    You're in a tough position!! I commend you on taking these awesome steps. I know it can be confusing and frustrating at times - not knowing "what" to listen to - but you've got a good handle on things and even just *knowing* where your weaknesses & issues are is a HUGE step. You'll be fine!! Eat using your head (and this site), and not your heart/emotions/confused thoughts. Your body will adjust to the new style of eating, and you'll do great!!!!

    Thanks for sharing!
  • jsmalla
    jsmalla Posts: 140 Member
    Tasha,
    I'm so glad to hear you are moving down a better path! That's great. I'm sad to hear you are struggling, but you'll find your way thru. It sounds like maybe "the voices" in your head have not given you the best advice in the past. It's good that you are recognizing that. You might need to trust some external, objective, time tested, medically sound guidance from your dietician & MFP over the destructive internal impulses. Get that input from your dietician & choose to follow that advice over the voices. Every time you choose the good, it's a victory & it gets easier to win in the future. You can do this, Tasha! Keep being courageous, young lady! You can move through this! :flowerforyou:
  • Nich0le
    Nich0le Posts: 2,906 Member
    Tasha you are embarking on a long journey to learn how to quit listening to the negative voices in your head and what your body is telling you to do. The problem right now is that you have been in starvation mode for so long that your brain is sending messages to your body to be hungry and crave food and nutrients. Until you reach a balance in your weight your brain will continue to do this.

    You need to follow any dietary plans your nutritionist or counselors set up for you. Remember that they are there to help you achieve that balance and get your body to work correctly again. There are going to be days when your little voice is going to tell you to stop eating because you are eating too much, but you have to tell that voice to be quiet and finish eating.

    I wish you much luck, I know that eating disorders of any kind are hard to overcome but you can and will do it! The best healthiest thing you can do is recognize and deal with the problem and you have started that process. Keep your head held high and keep on going, you will be where you need to be and you will feel great and you should be proud of yourself for taking care of you!

    :drinker:
  • Fab140
    Fab140 Posts: 1,976 Member
    What you should maybe start out with is getting your body on a eating schedule. Say, every two-three hours have something small to eat. kinda like this (you can adjust it to work for you :smile: )

    Within one hour of waking up, have a protein and a complex carb (half a whole grain english muffin and a medium egg)

    2-3 hours after first meal, have an apple or orange if your a sweets lover. Even a small handfull of Wheat Thins reduced fat crackers are a great option.

    Lunch time have garden greens and some protein. Watch the dressing!! They tend to have a ton of empty calories.

    2-3 hours after lunch have non-fat or low-fat yogart. This gives your body a boost around the time that a lot of people start reaching for sodas and candy.

    Dinner time have a complex carb (salad, whole grain toast, whole grain pasta, what ever :smile: again watch the portions. Too little and you'll be hungry and too much you'll feel ucky.) with another protein.

    If you're still a little hungry, or you really need a topper to the day, try a little piece of dark chocolate.

    You really will be able to do this :happy: we're all batteling a food addiction/disorder of some sort. We can't be more proud of you!! It may help to get counseling until you can change the way you feel about food. I believe there are free clinics available for people with eating disorders, you just need to google!!

    :flowerforyou:
    M
  • ohthatbambi
    ohthatbambi Posts: 1,098 Member
    Being a recovering anorexic/bulemic myself, I totally understand those crazy voices. In fact, I just had a fight with my voices. It is hard to find a balance. I have finally learned to listen to my body, not the voices. That does not mean that they don't show up and put up a good fight, but I am very aware now how wrong they are.

    I don't know your age. I am 36. My battle began when I was in the 6th grade and I was really messed up for a lot of years. The damage I did then has paid a toll on my body. Hopefully you have not spent as many years as I did listening to those voices.

    A well balanced diet is the best and healthiest way to go. Anything to the extreme is not good for you. You are making a good choice by being here. Good luck
  • TashaKnight
    TashaKnight Posts: 50 Member
    WOW Thank you SO SO much! It's one big struggle right now :(
    My parents aren't involved in my recovery and I'm really leaning on my sister/a teacher right now. They keep me together! So I got involved in pro-ana because I needed more...support? I don't agree that anorexia is a lifestyle choice but it was a great way to find other people going through the same thing. It's SO wonderful to have a group of people online who care about me and want the best for me and won't tell me that my BMI of 16 is too low. I'm still into pro-ana but I would love to move my online support group here, if you know what I mean.
    Maybe I'll do a "food diary of an anorexic" post one day! Just for feedback about whether I should up my protein or fat, etc.
    Thank you ;) I love MFP and you are all so so nice and supportive.
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