Is there Life after Loss?

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Marcellus_08
Marcellus_08 Posts: 253
in Health and Weight Loss
Alright. Let me just start off by saying this post is going to be all over the place. So beware of crappy grammer and bad spelling.

Two years ago I was at my heighest weight. I lost nearly 50lbs and kept it off for about a year and a half. Then last June I found out I was pregnant with my son. I was 27 weeks and 2 days pregnant when I had him, Due to a very hard delivery he had stage four bleeding on both sides of his brain and we had to make the decision as parents to take him off life support. Since then,I find myself enveloping in my old habbits. I'm almost back to my heightest weight and I can't stay motivated. What I'm doing to myself isn't okay. Its not okay for me to eat every emotion, but its all I know. I'm uncomfortable and hate watching myself inflate like a ****ing balloon.

I am starting back at square one and I'm completly lost. I just want to be happy and not be so disgusted with myself.

How do I find motivation and how do I stick with it??

I'm in high hopes that when it hits his four month mark next month that I will be down at least a couple pounds.

Help!

Replies

  • morticiamom
    morticiamom Posts: 221 Member
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    I'm so sorry for your loss.

    Depression and grief are big contributors to obesity, because overeating is a form of self-medication. My advice is:

    1) Be kind to yourself; you are grieving. Don't talk to yourself in a way that you'd never talk to another person.

    2) Deal with any depression that you have above and beyond normal grieving.

    3) Once you're no longer beating yourself up, and depression isn't clouding your self-perception so much, then approach the lifestyle change from a place of self acceptance -- wanting better for yourself, eating better and exercising for better health, not because you are disgusted by yourself.

    And best wishes for your health and happiness.
  • larryc0923
    larryc0923 Posts: 557 Member
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    I'm so sorry for your loss.

    Depression and grief are big contributors to obesity, because overeating is a form of self-medication. My advice is:

    1) Be kind to yourself; you are grieving. Don't talk to yourself in a way that you'd never talk to another person.

    2) Deal with any depression that you have above and beyond normal grieving.

    3) Once you're no longer beating yourself up, and depression isn't clouding your self-perception so much, then approach the lifestyle change from a place of self acceptance -- wanting better for yourself, eating better and exercising for better health, not because you are disgusted by yourself.

    And best wishes for your health and happiness.

    This and take care.
  • carolyn0613
    carolyn0613 Posts: 162 Member
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    There is life after loss, though it won't be as you know it. You are so brave and I have tears in my eyes thinking about what you've been through. You have made the first step on your journey though, by coming on here and telling us a little of your story. It's a little step but a positive one. You will find the strength to go on and tackle your eating - you already know that emotional eating is not the answer. Would it help to think of your journey to health as a tribute to your loved baby? Take care and please add me as a friend if you want
  • StaceyN8R
    StaceyN8R Posts: 6 Member
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    I am incredibly sorry for your loss. And to answer your question, yes, there is life after loss. I lost natural triplet sons over the course of a week in 2001 due to their prematurity. The pain and intense grief you are experiencing is real and individual to you, so please cut yourself some slack! It was probably at least a year before I quit sobbing in a closet at some point during the day. I just want to encourage you as one who has been there. You will start to feel alive again in the future. You will find joy in your life again. It just takes time. You have a whole life ahead to worry about weight, but it should not be an additional burden for you to bear at this time. When you are ready, I have no doubt that you can get back into healthier eating and exercising habits that will leave you feeling better than ever! I wish you the best of luck on your healing journey.
  • nerdyandilikeit
    nerdyandilikeit Posts: 2,185 Member
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    Be kind to yourself about the fact you're grieving and you are not ok. It's not even been four months, and a lot of people here (including myself) didn't even start feeling like things could move forward for a year at least. I gained back all my weight I lost plus 30 pounds, too, but you won't feel like you can make progress until you let yourself be ok with not being ok. It will only keep feeling like too much pressure and you'll feel like a failure unecessarily.

    I'm not saying you have to just roll over and not do anything, but focus on what you feel you can do in the moment. If you have an emotional eating moment or day or week or month, you can still go for a walk, play with Khloe outside, do anything (even five minutes' worth) WHEN you do feel up to it. You'll have good days and bad days. Just do what you can on the good days, and do not beat yourself up for the bad days. You need those to process your grief just as much as the good days.

    Most importantly, remember you're not alone. Reach out if you need to.

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