Am I doomed to fail?

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Scorcherpants
Scorcherpants Posts: 32
in Motivation and Support
I set goals or challenges for myself but never reach them. I think the main problem is I don't believe in myself. Even though I have managed to lose 5st / 70lb in the past. NO MORE MOANING, NO MORE EXCUSES, YOU ONLY FAIL WHEN YOU QUIT! I CAN DO THIS! But I need support, please help, share your dreams and WHAT KEEPS YOU FOCUSSED? x

Replies

  • audra0831
    audra0831 Posts: 244
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    What kind of goals and/or challenges are you setting? I know for myself that I need to set smaller goals, otherwise I get overwhelmed and just give up. One of my challenges last week was to stay under on my sodium. Do you journal? Maybe writing down your hopes, dreams, goals - and even your fears - would help. And remember that your MFP buddies are here to encourage and uplift you, too! You've got this, lady! :flowerforyou:
  • Theresafinallygetsitright
    Theresafinallygetsitright Posts: 157
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    I have to take it day by day. About 6 months in, I thought about setting goals with dates and asked for guidance and someone very wise reminded me that it was a choice and not necessarily something I HAD to do. I am glad I listened. Every time I set one, I don't meet it in the time frame I allow myself and I am disappointed. I don't set them, I keep doing the work, day by day, and eventually, I still get there. Taking this day by day and actually becoming the change has made all the difference this time for me. Failure is not an option.
  • Scorcherpants
    Scorcherpants Posts: 32
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    Thank you both. I have just started a blog on here but not wrote in it for almost a week, I know from experience I need to update daily or I lose it. Losing my Grandad as hit me hard but I need to force myself to keep going with it.

    I've made a deal with my husband that if I lose 6 stone/84lb by Nov, I can go to a large Make-up show in Europe, dates and destination yet to be decided so that's a challenge. I think you are both right though, I may be making my goals too big. I'm going to work hard, see what I lose by then and reward myself with the Make-up show if I lose 6st and if not, I'll go to the one the following year either in New York or LA just won't tell my husband my plans.lol
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    I've found that placing more focus on the process..changing my lifestyle, how I eat, what I eat, how I prepare my meals, etc (and yes maintaining a calorie deficit) has been much more beneficial than focusing on the result (i.e. number on the scale). I focus on those other things and what do you know...results follow suit. Weight loss is so painfully slow that I just can't focus so much on those results.

    I can remember those early days...I just felt like, "man...I'm never gonna get there." Now, 5 months and 25 Lbs down later, I'm feeling better than I have in years. My blood work has made a 180 from where it was back in October...so not only am I looking better (gravy)...my blood work is showing that I'm far healthier as well.
  • Celeigh12
    Celeigh12 Posts: 763 Member
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    You can do everything right and still not meet an X pounds by X date goal. I would make more doable goals. Like simply eating within your calorie allotment for the day and doing something active every day. Live a healthy life like that and the weight loss will follow. This doesn't need to be punishing or extreme to work. Pick a moderate calorie amount (nothing crazy low) and take a walk a day. I think you'd be very pleased at what that will lead to over time.
  • Nicadimous
    Nicadimous Posts: 6 Member
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    No, most definitely your are not doomed to fail!!! Keep the faith, most importantly, like everyone else said above, it is a day to day choice to live better, eat better and just be you! The rest will follow. Don't be a slave to the scale, it doesn't tell you everything...like whether or not you are developing more muscle and burning fat, how loose your clothes are getting or just how much better you feel!

    Give it time, it took time to get there, its gonna take time to come off! I started my journey two years ago and I tortured myself endlessly over not getting quicker results. What I realized was this is a journey, not a race, you'll get there when you get there..Just keep going! I'm down over 70lbs too! Isn't that amazing, that's like half a person, depending on the person of course...LOL
  • jmeyer925
    jmeyer925 Posts: 326 Member
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    You HAVE to be determined, not motivated, not supported, not hopeful. DETERMINED.

    You will fall, you will stumble, you will feel defeated, you will feel like youre getting no where. But the only person who can ultimately get you through is YOU.

    Tell yourself this everyday, every time you feel you cant, every time you dont see results you want.

    You're only doomed to fail if you believe it.
  • gmallan
    gmallan Posts: 2,099 Member
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    It's great to have a big goal like that and a reward at the end but just focusing on it in one big chunk can seem a little overwhelming. Try breaking it down into monthly goals in terms of weight loss (which will allow for an average over the month because it generally isn't linear). Try setting weekly goals targeting particular problem areas as well, these could be non-weight-related like no soda/alcohol/chocolate for a week, hitting your calorie/macro goal each day or getting in a certain number of workouts. Make them things that are challanging but achievable and things that will actually make a difference in your weight loss.

    Even if you don't hit your goal of 84lbs by November as long as you keep on plugging on, what's the worst that could happen? You'll reach Nov and you'll have only lost 60lbs or 40lbs. Either way you'll be that much closer to your ultimate goal :smile:
  • jennmariepantoja
    jennmariepantoja Posts: 145 Member
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    I find that setting small goals helps.
    You can doo eeettt!
  • Port47
    Port47 Posts: 62 Member
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    I find the only goal I allow myself to set is to get through one day at a time.If I can do my daily walking and a few squats plus complete my daily food journal I feel like I have accomplished this goal and I am very proud of myself. Do not try to look so far ahead,remember our excess weight was not put on overnight and will take time to come off .Cheer up just work one day at a time,we are all here for you.:happy: :drinker:
  • Lindaj107
    Lindaj107 Posts: 19
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    You are not doom. Yes it is going to be difficult, but i believe that you will reach your goal. Don't give up. It is hard yes,remember Rome was not built in one day. You can do it, ask yourself, which is more important staying overweight or doing something about it, I refused to believe anything else, if we are determined enough, I believe that we will lose the weight and reach our goals. We need to keep each other motivated that is all. I believe it is possible, because anything else is unacceptable. Go weight loss!!!!!

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