Close to giving up, but finding one more attempt within

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merrymaker71
merrymaker71 Posts: 5
in Introduce Yourself
I'm 42 and so close to just giving up. I weigh 190 as of this morning. Since last spring, I've been within 5 lbs. of this weight vascillating between 185-195... sometimes hitting both ends of the spectrum within a two week period.

The only time I've ever really lost weight (since having my daughter in 1997) is when taking diet pills (phentermine). Three times I've managed to get down to around 170 with the help of diet pills... only to climb right back up to 190'ish.

I've never been small, and my ultimate goal weight is 160 lbs. I'm 5'7" and very shapely... I'm not disgusted with my body, and I am fit enough to do all the things I love: biking, yoga, walking, diving, golf, paddle boarding. But there's no reason for me to be so soft or to carry the extra weight around regardless of how well I carry it.

I was down to 170 again in December 2011, and I got there (from 193) by taking Phentermine. As soon as I stopped with diet pills, I packed the weight back on quickly.... climbing right back to where I was. I've been trying for nearly a year to drop the 20 lbs. I've gained back since I stopped taking Phentermine. I never drop more than a few lbs. after painstaking weeks of a deficit.

I know more about nutrition and the science of weight loss than you could ever imagine. I can tell you down to the calorie what I burn and what I consume. I have a Fitbit, a Bodymedia, an elliptical, a bosu, yoga mats/towels, kettlebells, resistance bands. If you could buy your ideal weight, I would have it!

I'm tired of being on a diet. I feel like I've been doing it for EVER. I have been!

Yes, I struggle with compliance of my diet plan, always end up eating more calories than I "should". I don't have any "quick/easy changes" to make: no soda habit, no chocolate in the drawer at work, no drive thru addictions. I couldn't tell you the last time I ate fast food. Or went to the ice cream shop. Just living. Just eating breakfast, lunch, dinner and the random snack. No binges. Nothing crazy. Yes, some cookies here or there, but nothing "crazy". Just life.

So is this just the body I'm meant to have? The one that I will have with normal living? I know that to really lose weight you have to create a big deficit for a while. I don't know why I can't do that.

Yes, this is my pity party. End of rant. Thanks for listening :) One more try... here I come!

Replies

  • AquaFan
    AquaFan Posts: 309 Member
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    Get rid of those pills and the 'diet' mindset. Log all your food here and make some friends. This site is truly amazing. Feel free to add me. :) You can do this. I'll be 42 in July and absolutely don't feel its too late. ((hugs)))
  • heatherdogg
    heatherdogg Posts: 1
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    This is my first post ever, so I will introduce myself. My name is Heather and I'm 39, I weigh 184 as of this morning. I signed up at this site a while back was not consistent. Now I have been to the gym 3 weeks in a row and I think its time to be accountable!

    I have read through a lot of posts today (for the first time) and I admire your honesty. You seem committed and I bet its hard to not see results. I am worried about that.

    You can do it. I can do it. I look forward to watching your progress!
  • geogirl67
    geogirl67 Posts: 7
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    :bigsmile: Don't give up! You are in the right place! I can relate with most of your "rant'. Like you, I enjoy being active (hiking, biking, swimming...) and no terrilbe habits. I know how to eat well and do when not rushed. My problem has primarily been accountability, and now I have it! I also have a FitBit and have sync-ed to MFP and between the two I have no place to hide! I am 3 weeks in and already seeing AND feeling the difference! Please feel free to "pal" me. Go team! :bigsmile:
  • 2credneck208
    2credneck208 Posts: 501 Member
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    I'm not dieting, I am just watching portions. Maybe you need to see a Dr. I would stop with the pills they aren't the answer. If you need someone to talk to you can add me as a friend. Chin up!
  • merrymaker71
    merrymaker71 Posts: 5
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    Thanks everyone -- I have definitely ditched the diet pills. I want to eat healthily and get there the right way. I'm becoming increasingly worried that I've just done the diet mindset and pills for too long!
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
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    Diet pills are unhealthy and they don't work to keep the weight off....ditch them now!
    Stop thinking diet and learn portion control
    LOG EVERY SINGLE BITE HONESTLY AND FAITHFULLY....AND CONSISTENTLY
    It's not rocket science, calories in versus calories out.
  • erin4455
    erin4455 Posts: 135
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    I think you should completely cease with the pills and get yourself on a healthy track. You've proven that the pills were good for nothing more than a very short-term fix, so you should really take that option off the table, entirely. Plus, they can't be good for your metabolism. Don't give up though! You're meant to have whatever body and healthy lifestyle you work for! I know the road can be difficult and I definitely have my fair share of days where I want to give up and slide back into my old lazy ways, and it takes a lot of hard work and focus to stay motivated. I would start out with some smaller, more easily obtainable goals...maybe five pounds at a time, or perhaps set an exercise goal for yourself. If you always look at your situation in terms of the big picture, I can see how you would be more tempted to look for an easier way out but it doesn't have to be that way. Set your goals and manage them in small increments. The payoff may be slower than what you're used to with the help of diet pills but it will also be longer-lasting and reward you with valuable health benefits as well! Good luck!

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