why is being healthy such a bad thing?

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hmahjoub96
hmahjoub96 Posts: 14
in Motivation and Support
ever since i started eating healthy, my friends have all bashed me or made fun of me about it. "you won't even have a bite of a brownie??" "whats wrong with fries!?" i make my lunch at home every day, and they never go a day without commenting on what I'm eating. I've told them its a lifestyle change, not a diet, and they'll thrown that in there too as if I'm suddenly gonna switch back to eating unhealthy. i know what i eat is healthy, so why do they have to push me around about it so much?
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  • Pamko57
    Pamko57 Posts: 182
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    People feel threatened. When I was in denial about my weight, when I knew I wasn't eating right, I didn't like to hear people talking about eating right or getting healthy. It wes a reminder that I wasn't. I didn't, however, ever say anything out loud.

    Ignore them and keeping on keepin' on.
  • hmahjoub96
    hmahjoub96 Posts: 14
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    thank you!! that makes sense
  • bmqbonnie
    bmqbonnie Posts: 836 Member
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    When one embarks on a journey of self improvement, others often take it as a slap in the face. To hyperbolize a little, you are saying you will not eat any more brownies; therefore if they eat a brownie you must think they are a bad person. Therefore you must be brought back down to your rightful place.

    Just keep doing your thang and when you reach your goals and stay there they'll be coming to you for advice! (and probably not taking it, but that's another topic, ha)
  • AlanTuring
    AlanTuring Posts: 159
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    I'd say that feeling threatened is definitely a huge part of it, along with feeling guilty about their own food choices and whatnot.

    In addition, I think that Westerners in general have too often confused decadent food with "The good life," which I suspect is probably some kind of holdover from when it was hard to get enough food to get fat and you couldn't just go buy a bag with 1500 calories for a dollar. :P
  • gfiorine
    gfiorine Posts: 40 Member
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    I'd say that feeling threatened is definitely a huge part of it, along with feeling guilty about their own food choices and whatnot.

    In addition, I think that Westerners in general have too often confused decadent food with "The good life," which I suspect is probably some kind of holdover from when it was hard to get enough food to get fat and you couldn't just go buy a bag with 1500 calories for a dollar. :P
    I agree! You hear it all the time, might as well eat that pizza, cheeseburger, etc...we're all going to die. Might as well die happy.
    It's their choice...honestly, a lot of those foods are starting to lose their sparkle. I love my low calorie dishes I'm discovering. I feel myself not wanting that brownie....tell them they can have your piece
  • lillauraseymour
    lillauraseymour Posts: 63 Member
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    I agree with everyone else's comments, others feel guilty when you order a salad and they've ordered fries and deep fried food. but from someone who's used MFP for over a year, people start to get over it and just get used to it. They've stopped asking why i'm not drinking or not ordering a massivly bad meal. That being said, i do allow myself to have a bit of cake on birthdays or every now and then etc
  • UsernameStillLoading
    UsernameStillLoading Posts: 299 Member
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    :huh: Friends are always like that.
    ....
    ....
    ...
    I might need to make new friends :grumble:

    Anyway, I do believe that they are threatened, but it might not be because of your new lifestyle change. It could be because of the change in general. After all, little things manage to turn into huge deals in the female mind (I can't speak on behalf of the male mind)
    When someone in the group changes, the whole group vibration changes as well. Those who changed can't feel the new vibe, they just feel the negativity.

    It might not be that they want you to fail, they just don't want you to leave them behind. They might not need a lifestyle change, but when someone changes a lifestyle, they tend to find friends who are within that same lifestyle as well. That is why high school relationships end, it's not that the friendship ended due to lack of love; it was due to lack of consistency.


    I never met your friends so I don't know if this is the case. Keep things in perspective though. We all have different versions of fear for the same thing (I could fear clowns because I think they look creepy, you could fear them because you had a a bad experience with one; either way, same fear of clowns, different causes)
  • hmahjoub96
    hmahjoub96 Posts: 14
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    I'd say that feeling threatened is definitely a huge part of it, along with feeling guilty about their own food choices and whatnot.

    In addition, I think that Westerners in general have too often confused decadent food with "The good life," which I suspect is probably some kind of holdover from when it was hard to get enough food to get fat and you couldn't just go buy a bag with 1500 calories for a dollar. :P
    I agree! You hear it all the time, might as well eat that pizza, cheeseburger, etc...we're all going to die. Might as well die happy.
    It's their choice...honestly, a lot of those foods are starting to lose their sparkle. I love my low calorie dishes I'm discovering. I feel myself not wanting that brownie....tell them they can have your piece

    i agree!!! i don't even feel the need to have cheat meals anymore. this is why i love this site...healthy eating is not abnormal!!
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    Feeling insecure. Next time they comment tell em youve been having a raging case of diarrhea lately and the only thing that keeps you from crapping your pants is your food. People often back off when you say crazy things. When people offer me food I go NO I'm fat enough! They usually quit offering.
  • hmahjoub96
    hmahjoub96 Posts: 14
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    Feeling insecure. Next time they comment tell em youve been having a raging case of diarrhea lately and the only thing that keeps you from crapping your pants is your food. People often back off when you say crazy things. When people offer me food I go NO I'm fat enough! They usually quit offering.

    hahahaha!!!! that's too funny :)
  • zCarsAndCaloriesz
    zCarsAndCaloriesz Posts: 348
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    It's funny cause me and my boyfriend are both eating healthier and exercising, cause ya'know we wanna live longer and better, not just look better. Anyways, we have this friend named brandon who has been fairly overweight for a while, and has suddenly decided he wanted to slim down. When he see's us eating lean and healthy meals, he ALWAYS makes comments. Meanwhile he will go to the gym once a week and eat a couple pounds of bacon and hamburger meat, and we say nothing about his approach to his weight loss goals.


    Maybe they feel threatened, or maybe they just know they don't have it in them to be strong with their diet choices..?
    Who knows?!
  • oneworkoutatatime
    oneworkoutatatime Posts: 312
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    yup, but you reachyour gaols they'll asking questions about how you did..
  • mona_patty
    mona_patty Posts: 170
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    ive been made fun of too!!! :( it's hard but you keep strong and in the end all that matters is that you are healthy. In Christmas, I told my brother, I don't drink soda then he gives me one, i forcibly drank it LMAO
  • rushikareddy
    rushikareddy Posts: 604 Member
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    ever since i started eating healthy, my friends have all bashed me or made fun of me about it. "you won't even have a bite of a brownie??" "whats wrong with fries!?" i make my lunch at home every day, and they never go a day without commenting on what I'm eating. I've told them its a lifestyle change, not a diet, and they'll thrown that in there too as if I'm suddenly gonna switch back to eating unhealthy. i know what i eat is healthy, so why do they have to push me around about it so much?
    LOL haha then these people are really NOT your friends! I have gone through the same thing ! The minute I start eating healthy they make fun or just keep trying to get me to quit! So i just am not around such people anymore! :) i also have friends who honestly support me and who also dont hesitate to tell me when i am going over board! :) they are the ones that made me lose my excess weight and also motivated me to get fit! so You don't need such negative people in your life :) they are just jealous :)just concentrate on what you are doing :) you are going great :)
  • hmahjoub96
    hmahjoub96 Posts: 14
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    It's funny cause me and my boyfriend are both eating healthier and exercising, cause ya'know we wanna live longer and better, not just look better. Anyways, we have this friend named brandon who has been fairly overweight for a while, and has suddenly decided he wanted to slim down. When he see's us eating lean and healthy meals, he ALWAYS makes comments. Meanwhile he will go to the gym once a week and eat a couple pounds of bacon and hamburger meat, and we say nothing about his approach to his weight loss goals.


    Maybe they feel threatened, or maybe they just know they don't have it in them to be strong with their diet choices..?
    Who knows?!

    my friend mary dropped 40 lbs then regained it all back; her thing was "portion control" but eating whatever foods you want. i always told her (and still tell her) that you can't healthily and regularly lose weight without eating healthy foods, even if you take in too many calories because of it. she seriously argued on and on about how the only way you can lose weight is to portion control and that I'm crazy and all that....today she told me she wanted to "try" my foods..... after arguing for the past few months..... -______-
  • tstancom
    tstancom Posts: 47 Member
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    I think they just don't really know what to say or do when people articulate that they're making a lifestyle change. I had been eating my "new" healthy diet for 3 weeks when I mentioned that I was tracking calories, and one woman went on and on for about a week about how "tiny" my lunch was and "how could I stand to eat all those vegetables" until I politely pointed out that a) she was eating a meal with a similar number of calories to mine and b) I'd been eating the same lunch in front of her for 3 weeks and she didn't seem obsessed with it back then! She sort of went, "Oh!" and then stopped making comments. I think people have this weird idea in their heads about "dieting" and it makes them say and do illogical things when somebody brings up weight loss. Now, nobody says anything negative; they just ask how my lifestyle change is going from time to time.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,669 Member
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    ever since i started eating healthy, my friends have all bashed me or made fun of me about it. "you won't even have a bite of a brownie??" "whats wrong with fries!?" i make my lunch at home every day, and they never go a day without commenting on what I'm eating. I've told them its a lifestyle change, not a diet, and they'll thrown that in there too as if I'm suddenly gonna switch back to eating unhealthy. i know what i eat is healthy, so why do they have to push me around about it so much?
    Health has so much more involved than just eating. Weight, exercise, rest, stress, environment, risk behavior (like smoking), and genetics all play a part. Many take the idea that just because the eat better, yet ignore the others, that they would be healthier than their peers, but if one of their peers does all of the above and has a brownie or fries (without exceeding calorie limits) then chances are that person may be in better health.
    But you are headed in a good direction. It's okay to have a brownie or fries once in awhile. It didn't kill you then and won't kill you now unless that's all you're eating.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Kimberleebennett
    Kimberleebennett Posts: 21 Member
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    My workmates do this too. I decided to (as well as lose weight) eat healthier and exercise more. They will do the same thing to me yet the other day i was craving something sweet so I ate a small piece of cake with my coffee in the afternoon, and I still haven't heard the end of it. I don't understand why they hassle you when you eat healthy, yet when you eat something unhealthy in an otherwise moderate balanced diet might I add they try to make you feel guilty. It annoys me that people think that just because you are eating healthy that it excludes anything sweet or fatty permanently from your diet.
  • catmanor
    catmanor Posts: 85 Member
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    Why can't friends be supportive????!!!!

    Sounds like they are insecure about themselves and they are projecting that onto you.. and they aren't real friends in my opinion..

    Don't give a damn about what others think or say to you about your choices.. they are YOURS and you are the only person you have to answer to..
  • daydream_believer
    daydream_believer Posts: 332
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    agree with all the above posts! i guess its really common for people to feel guilty and take it out on others to make themselves feel better. keep your chin up girly because you are doing an amazing thing no matter what they say :)

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